Muskrats.

You may have noticed that on more than one occasion I mentioned that Donald Trump wears a dead muskrat on his head. Donald Trump would probably try to sue me if he read this. So I will just post a series of photos to make my case here.

This is Trump with some random chick. The ugly one with the short hair that looks like a dead muskrat is Trump.

And this is a muskrat.

Notice how the muskrat is the same color as the hair in question. Huh. Imagine that. I am sure this is just a coincidence, and not because the hair in question used to belong to a muskrat.

Now that this issue is solved and I have the evidence that will prevent any lawsuits, time to jump to a whole new topic!

The Miami-Dade County Fair is in town. So Monday I went there with my parents. Why not. I should have lugged my camera there, but I did not. This is because the fair is mostly the same thing year after year. The carnival games, the fried food booths, the rides that look like a good way to make yourself puke - and so on.

But every year there are a few things I do at the fair. For one, I have to play the "shoot out the red star with a fully automatic BB gun" game. You get 100 shots to do this. It is darn near impossible. You have to fire in short bursts. To win the crappy prize you must shoot out every last bit of the red star. One of these years I will win - but not this year.

And of course there is skee ball! I like this game. Last year I kicked the skee ball machine's ass and won a giant stuffed alligator - but this year I just lost $3. I got close on the first and third game - but I sucked pretty bad at the second game. I could have won but it was a matter of how much did I want to spend to win some crappy prize. But it is fun to play skee ball - so I got my moneys worth.

I am going to have to buy (and drink) a single bottle of Corona Beer so I can practice the "stand the beer bottle up using a ring attached to a stick by a string" game. I want to kick that game's ass next year. The carnival people make it look so easy - but nobody ever wins. Someone needs to shut that booth down by winning all the crap there.

Ever had a fried pickle? Well there was a booth selling them, so I ordered one. I think it is going to be VERY EASY to use the toilet in a few hours. but I could not resist. Everyone knows that the best food is deep fried. I like dill pickles. So hell yea Ill try one fried! I also had a fried bologna sandwich. Like I said - using the toilet will be VERY easy. With all the oil I ate today I am like the Exxon Valdez here.

I also bought $10 in lottery tickets. I got 5 scratch off tickets - and won a free ticket. The other $5 is for a chance to win $250,000 OR one of my choice of 7 Ford cars/$35,000 in ca$h. You can choose either the car or the cash, unless you win the $250,000. They pull one number for the $250,000 and 7 numbers for the car/cash. Only an idiot would choose the car because:

A) The car is a Ford AND
B) You can buy a Ford for under $35,000

The Mustang Convertible looks nice - but I would rather have the money. I have a perfectly good car now. I could turn that $35k into something that floats and have plenty left over for ice, beer, and gas.

And if I loose - then it is a donation to Florida's Public School System. I live in a crazy ass state where casinos are bad yet the State's education fund is 100% from a lottery. It is the duty of every Florida resident to play the lottery from time to time - even if it is a bad bet. I call the lottery a tax on people bad at math.