Getting Harassed By The Man

So today I am minding my own business, driving home from River Marine (located very close to downtown Miami). Being in the number 1 place in the nation for road rage, I was trying not to get pissed off. I was concentrating on the fact that I found 12 gauge marine grade electrical wire for only $26 for a 100 foot spool! Marine grade wire is 100% tinned copper, as opposed to bare copper. The tinning makes it resistant to corrosion and stuff. I also found marine grade crimp connectors. And some premium 2 cycle engine oil formulated for fuel injected outboards.

Worst Marine wants $20 for a 30 foot spool of 14 gauge marine wire, and $60 for a 100 foot spool. 14 gauge is not as thick as 12 gauge.

Anyway, I was driving home minding my own business. And then I could smell bacon, stale coffee, and fresh donuts. Next thing I know I am getting flagged down.

It seems that a porker was hiding behind a tree writing up business. They are cracking down on people blocking intersections. I was not doing this. I supposedly make an "illegal lane change". I did not realize there was such a thing in Miami-Dade County.

Now I may be guilty here. I probably am. But the path was clear! I did not cut anyone off or almost cause an accident or anything. I was actually trying to get out of the intersection because I did not want to block it because then the cross traffic could not move. Everyone came to a stop, and I was in the intersection. So I got out of the way. I did not block cross traffic! Can't say I did that!

But I got harassed anyway. Someone was preventing crime from behind a tree. I hope birds were also using that tree to roost in. And I hope those birds were having serious digestion problems because someone fed them Ex-Lax bird seed.

Anyhow, now I have a variety of choices. I can hire a leach lawyer, sign up for comedy traffic school and pay the ticket, or pay the ticket and not do the traffic school scam thing. If I hire a cheese head, I might be not guilty. Kind of like OJ is "not guilty". If I sign up for traffic school I get a discount on the fine and no points on the drivers license. If I just pay the fine I get points and my insurance goes up.

Last time I was harassed, I hired a cheese head. I was found to be not guilty. I was not even there to find out how not guilty I was! I got a letter from the cheese head.

But I was really guilty as hell. I was driving a little fast, and I did not notice the red and blue lights behind me for at least a mile. OOPS! Cops hate it then they want to harass you and you do not stop right away. Plus it was raining and the cop had to get out of his car and get his hat wet. They HATE to get their hat wet. I am lucky I was not clubbed like a baby harp seal.

So I have to weigh my options here. Will the West Miami Po Po show up to court? If so, the cheese head option may not work. They were doing the traffic trap thing and West Miami is a small department, so it is possible the cops will be in court. If I do the traffic school thing I get no points and nothing shows up on my record, but I have to face the fact that I did it. Just paying the fine is the WORST option. You have to be a total idiot to do that.

Anyway, I almost made it home without getting pissed off. See why Miami is number 1 for road rage?

Nest time, I will drive around the Shitty of West Miami. Did I say "shitty"? Yea I guess I did. Darn speech impediment! One of these days my intensive speech therapy will pay off and I will be able to properly say "city". But who knows when that will be.