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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Last Post - 2005

Looks like 2005 is about over. I want to say to everyone who reads this to be safe tonight. If you partake of too much intoxicating fluids, try to remember that driving is a bad idea.

Friday, December 30, 2005

No End To The Madness

Saurkraut left a good comment for my last post. She mentioned that it is silly to try to regulate TV because cable pretty much made regulation pointless.

Except there IS a point. The neo-consertive movement's wet dream is to control every aspect of all media outlets. There was serious talk of regulating cable television after the super boob incident. Really - there was. There was enough talk that cable and satellite television companies spent millions on ads reminding people that their TV has a "v-chip" that parents can use to block questionable content. Cable companies and TV satellite providers even went one step further, adding another set of v-chips to their equipment - in effect placing TWO condoms over your television.

And when satellite radio started to gain popularity - the focus jumped over to that media. Regular radio stations complained that it was unfair to regulate them and not XM or Sirius. The holy rolling wing of the neo-consertive movement (the core of the group by the way) tried to float the idea that the satellite stuff needed regulation as well.

You know, for my protection. I might not know that I want my music censored for my protection. The FCC should be able to step in and tell me what is good for my ears as a matter of public health.



The reason you do not hear anything about this now is because the public laughed at the idea. It was not very popular, except among those few individuals who would only like nothing but religous programming on the tv and radio. The idea FAILED. So they sat down and shut up. But they were not happy.

In Carter's new book, which I still have to read (I am lazy) he points out something that I already knew.

With the neo-consertive movement, there is NO GREY AREA. None. Everything is either right or wrong. In their world, everything is one of two colors - white or black. I will use the most famous of the neo-cons statements to illustrate this.

"You are either with us, or against us". Translated into english, this means that you are either in lock step with EVERYTHING we say or do or else you are the enemy. Do not disagree. Do not try to debate. Do not ask any questions. Do not think. Do not form your own opinions. We are ALWAYS right, and to not agree with this means YOU are always wrong. Black and white. No middle ground.

And I can take this beyond the war on terror as well. Take ANY issue. The neo-cons will have an absolute answer for it. Anyone who disagrees is simply wrong, they do not get it, or they are whiny liberals who hate America. Moderates are painted as wishy-washy spineless people who can never make a firm decision about issues.

Lets just look at the supreme court nominations. Did Bush even try to pick a person that would not polarize congress? Nope. He did the opposite. He picked people he KNEW would polarize congress, because he also knew he had the votes is everyone went down party lines.

As opposed to just picking a consertive judge who was more moderate and might gain some democrat votes. And of course he is going to pick a more consertive judge than a liberal judge - nobody in their right mind would expect otherwise. But to do this would also admit that the color grey is real, and this can just not happen.

Think for yourself for a bit. Can you come up with any issue where the neo-consertives admit that there might possibly be two sides to, and that it might be that neither side is totally correct? I can't. To them, any debate is pointless because they are right - end of story.

Now these are NOT traditional conservitive values by any means. Far from it. These are extreme right wing values and ideas. These are also very dangerous ideas, for in a free society there should be a lot of debate. In a free society very few - IF ANY - issues should be black or white.

But not now. Compromise is played off as being bad. Terrible. Horrible. How dare congress try to not do everything the president says!

A lot more than foul language on cable TV and satellite radio is at stake here. Really, I could care less about potty words on Sirius radio - I subscribed for the lack of commercials, not to hear words I already know.

There truly is no end to the madness, and it will not get better until mainstream moderate republicans take back their party by sheer force. The democrats also need to take their party back by force, and make it more towards the middle of the road - and this is happening to some point. Not fast enough for my taste, but at least the party is moving to the middle. The republicans, as I see it, are not moving anywhere.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Songs For A3P And Other Stuff

Upon reading about A3P's adventures over the holidays, I dug up some MP3 files that I feel add to the whole theme. So here they are! Download em and send em off via e-mail!

WARNING! These files contain noises and subject matter that the FCC, John Ashcroft, and other constipated, uptight, moral-mongers might not approve of. Which of course makes them all the funnier!

1. I Love The Way You Fart
2. If I Farted In Heaven
3. Silent Fart (Deadly Fart)
4. Symphony Of Farts
5. The Crepitation Contest

All these are radio bits, pulled from The Neil Rogers website. Neil is a local radio host that has been on the air since the days of Marconi (google him if you do not know). NONE of the bits can be played anymore, thanks to the "Super Boob" incident, and the repressive Bush Administration's FCC crackdown on TV and radio. Nevermind that track number 5 is AT LEAST 60 years old, it can not be on American radio anymore. Thank God for the BBC and the CBC eh? At least in Canada ancient radio bits can live on. Just do not let any of those Canadian radio signals cross the border, for sending fart noises into America is grounds for the FCC to declare war! Kind of like in the South Park movie.

And what is so bad about these bits? Do they contain any bad words? Almost no (The Crepitation Contest DOES have the S word at the end). And they are audio files, so no unwanted boobs will pop out at you. But they contain NOISES. Thats right, noises. Simulations of farts. Not REAL fart noises, just emulations of noises that could possibly be representitive of fart noises. Truly evil stuff here.

So, what was OK for radio 60 years ago, back when domestic violence was funny and Ward could be hard on The Beaver on television - is totally NOT ok today. And do not even get me started on the Dick Van Dyke Show! Could you imagine that show getting on the air today? It would never happen. Not in America today! People are FAR TOO uptight.

And what was so bad about the Howard Stern show? If the FCC would not have made such a fuss about him saying "lesbian" on the air, generating all that FREE PRESS for the show, he might have just vanished from the dial. But no. He exploited the system, and made millions of dollars in the process. And GOOD FOR HIM! At least someone had the balls to stick it to the FCC and the repressive atmosphere of USA broadcasting.

In the 70s, the BBC was showing Benny Hill. would American TV EVER DARE show something like that? Hell no - the FCC would be on them like ugly on a warthog, or a dead muskrat on Donald Trump's head (SOMEONE PLEASE GET THAT MAN A BETTER WIG AS A GIFT!!)

The FCC was never intended to regulate what is on the air, the FCC was created to simply regulate who could use what frequencies. Before the FCC, anyone could use any frequency at any power level they wanted. So the big companies would broadcast on the same frequency smaller companies used, but with more power. The result was nobody could listen to anything.

So the government created the FCC, and the FCC told broadcasters what frequency and power level to use. This way, a bunch of stations could share the band without any power wars going on.
But shortly after the creation of the FCC, a church group (catholic I think) saw a golden opportunity. In the name of "family, decency, and the children" they proposed things that eventually gave the FCC the power to dictate content. Whatever the church groups did not like was removed from the air. Just like the same people try to ban books, TV shows, radio shows, artwork, and anything else they do not like today.

You can run some google searches and verify what I said about the creation of the FCC. Go on, do it. You will find that the original reason for the FCC was NOT to repress content. That was the church's idea. They LOVE to repress ideas that they do not like. They have been doing it for thousands of years now, why should they stop?

But what about the family! You might be asking me this now. My solution is simple, and does not need any FCC repressive constipated old man to get involved. The concept is revolutionary in nature, yet so simple that even a child could understand it.

If you do not like a TV show (like that Apprentice show with that dead muskrat wearing asshole Donald Trump), DO NOT WATCH IT! Thats right, watch something else! Turn off the TV and read a book! Maybe walk around the block a few times! Go have sex! Do whatever you want, just do not watch the show that offends you.

Ratings drive the TV and radio market. Shows with poor ratings (like that awful Greg The Bunny show on Fox) vanish overnight, never to be seen again. Only shows with high ratings remain on the air.

So, if an "offensive" show remains on the air, it is because lots of other people like it. The fact you do not like it does NOT MEAN that the FCC should step in and force the show off the air. If enough people do not watch a show - it is GONE. Like That 80's Show, and Alf.

What amazes me the most is that the Republicans have turned all this morality crap into their pet issue. They claim to be the party of God, the party of the family, and so forth. They also claim to love an open and free market. Yet, they want to use the FCC to regulate the TV and radio market, as opposed to just letting the ratings system do its thing.

And if millions want to listen to Howard Stern talk about how hot a couple of lesbians are, that nobody except him can see because it is RADIO, more power to them. Those who do not like it can listen to Barney CDs.

For the record, I do not listen to Howard. I think his show is simply bad radio. He is really doing a TV show over the radio - and this is just dull to listen to. I cant SEE the strippers, so why do I want to hear about how hot they are?

And while I have had Sirius Satellite Raido for a number of years now, I am worried about Howard moving to Sirius. The company has to pay him $100 million per year. That is about 1/3 of the company's revinue. I am concerned that Howard may bankrupt Sirius, which would suck because I like the service. I will probably not listen to Howard's channels.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Land Of The Free, Home Of The Supersized.

Check out THIS ARTICLE from the BBC World Service.

The article is not really news, we already know about it - we just do not want to think about it. After all, thinking about stuff leads to depression, and depression leads to chocolate and cheesecake, and cheesecake leads right back to the problem at hand.

And the problem is obesity.

Anyone can verify this simply by going outside and watching people. Right now, according ot the article, 64.5% of the adult population (115 million adults) are overweight or obese. Doctors predict that by the next (summer) olympics, that figure will expand, like an elastic band on sweatpants, to 75%.

Three out of every four people. Think about that for a little bit.

Of course, it is not just America. EVERY first world nation, where food is cheap and all over the place and life is easy, is having the same problem. Never before in the course of human history could so many people plop down on a couch and eat pints of ice cream for hours a day. Back in the "good" old days, people had to work much longer and harder - farming is a rough life.

Now for a very long time, I just did not worry about these problems. I am a fairly tall person, and for the longest time I wore 29 inch pants (34 inch length). But then one day, when I was getting close to 30, those pants started to be just a little tight. Not too tight that I could not fit into them, but I had to suck in just a little bit.

Then it got to be a crisis. One day the 29s were just NOT going to button or zip up. It was a crisis because most of my jeans were 29-34s. I had only a few pairs of 30s or 31s.

But it worked out, because finding 29s is a bitch, where finding 32-34 pants is pretty easy. So it was not a big deal.

Except now those 32s are starting to fit a little snug. Not so snug that I can not zip em up, just a little more snug than they used to fit. I will be 32 in January.

Another problem is that type II diabeties runs on my dad's side of the family. His aunt had it, and now he has it. There is also heart disease in the family - on both sides but mostly on my dad's side.

So, with all these potential medical issues possibly buried in my DNA, the waist line expanding at an increasing rate, it was obvious what had to be done.

Healthy living begins now. I have no choice. So I went out and spent $500 on a bike with the idea that I will use it to not be so darn out of shape.

I also have to watch what I eat, and change my food choices. This is what is going to suck the most.

But I have already invented a good way to avoid things I just do not need, like glazed doughnuts. I ask myself "is this glazed doughnut worth loosing my eyesight, a foot, or an entire leg for"? Type II diabetes could lead to all those things you know. I know. And I also know that if I do nothing, odds are good I will get it. Then I will have to watch by blood sugar constantly, worry about circulation problems, and possibly loose sight or body parts over. None of this is good.

Right now my body mass index (BMI) is in the upper 23s or lower 24s. I forget which. Anyway, 25 is the border like seperating "healthy weight" from "overweight".

My plan for now is fairly simple. Drive less and move around more. The supermarket is about a mile from home. Do I HAVE TO drive there to get a 6 pack and some cat food? No, I could walk. I don't walk, I drive - and that is a big part of the problem. Do I HAVE TO spend my days off sleeping till noon, watching some TV, playing some video games, and stuff? NO. The fact I have been doing these things is another part of the problem.

For several years now I have volunteered to work communications for the annual M.S. Breakaway To Key Largo. This is a 150 mile bike ride from Dade County to Key Largo FL. The event takes place over 2 days, each day the route is about 75 miles. By NEXT YEAR (2007, lets be real here) I want to be able to make the ride. Maybe not the whole thing, but at least to the 50 mile point each day. To make this goal, I will have a lot of work to do - but it is by no means impossible.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Three Sheets To The Wind

I do not know if I mentioned this before, but here is where the title phrase comes from.

First off, there are NO ROPES on a boat. Got it? None. You will never find a rope on any boat. What you will find are LINES. Lots and lots of LINES. There will be bow lines, stern lines, anchor lines, and so forth. Only on land is rope called a rope.

On sailboats, you will find a special line that is called a SHEET. Sheets secure sails, and sails make a boat move.

Back in the golden age of sail, the standard design for an ocean going craft called for three masts. Eash mast had a sail, and a sheet to hold the sail(s). With me so far?

IF your three sheets were flapping all willy-nilly in the breeze, it meant that your sails were also flapping. Flapping sails can not catch the wind, or move a boat. As a consequence, the boat would have no control, and would go wherever the wind and currents pushed it. It was totally un-steerable.

So when a person is "three sheets to the wind" after drinking too much, they stumble about aimlessly, going wherever gravity pulls them. Kind of like a boat with no sails. They will collide with walls, fall down, not see trees, and do forth.

And speaking of people that are three sheets to the wind, check THIS VIDEO OUT. Tell me what you think in the comments. I think someone has had a little too much Christmas cheer.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Boxing Day

Welcome to Boxing Day. I have no idea what this day is all about. Someone once told me it was a Canadian thing, this may or may not be true. but yet my desk calendar says that today is Boxing Day.

So, all across America (and the rest of the world for that matter) people will be boxing up those crappy unwanted gifts (like the sweater with the blinking reindeer nose, the Chia Pets, and so on) and returning them for store credit or ca$h.

This is what I see Boxing Day as. The day of returns and exchanges. I KNOW you have done this at least once! There is no reason to lie to yourself.

I will not be returning anything this year. I am FAR too lazy. Plus, I got some good stuff. I got a heater for my office (it gets cold on the weekends), I got a plush lizard (it is on my office computer monitor...get it?? Monitor?? Monitor lizard??), I got a pen striped suit (made in CANADA - no child labor clothing for me!), socks (everyone gets socks), and stuff.

The GOOD STUFF are the things I got for myself! Like the bike. And the day before Christmas, I got myself one of these.


Yes I know - I am weak. But this device is just sooo friggin cool. It has built in WiFi and a web browser, an IR port so you can use it as a fancy remote control, and it has been hacked 500 ways - so you can make it think it is just about any other gsme console and play emulated games that you can DL for free. The screen on the thing compares to a HDTV or computer monitor, and it has the same aspect ratio as a wide screen TV.

It will play movies, games, MP3 files, MPEG files, and so on. If you have a two player game, and someone else has a PSP, you can link them via the built in WiFi and play head to head.

Now, all I need are a few 1 gig memory stick duo things for the PSP, so I can load up my MP3 collection and take it to work. We are allowed to have a music device, as long as the volume is kept to a reasonable level.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great day yesterday. Even if you do not celebrate Christmas, come on now! It is a good excuse to have a party with friends or family. EVERYONE likes parties!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Happy (Insert Holiday of Choice Here)

I want to wish every a joyous holiday season, for whatever holiday you choose to observe (or none at all). May your days be bright, and your nights full of cheer. And spiced rum. Spiced rum can be some good stuff. Just do not drink too much of it, or else Uncle Ralph might come over to visit, with his annoying half-brother from Scotland Hurley McPukealot.

Friday, December 23, 2005

It's A Christmas Miracle!

Thats right - it is a bona-fide Christmas miracle. Call the Pope, he needs to certify this one.

My ride stats for today:

Total moving time: 32 minutes.
Total Distance: 5.something miles.
Average speed: 10.8 MPH.
Top speed: 15 mph.

I did not make up these numbers, I have a handheld GPS mounted to the bike handlebars.


Now keep in mind that the bike has tires made more for hardpack roads. I need to get some thinner street tires, there will be less rolling resistance. Or not. for excercise purposes, the tires the bike has are fine. More resistance means I have to work harder, so I do not have to ride as long. Whatever, I will buy some street tires soon. Not now, but soon. Maybe on my next days off?

But this is not the point. The point is that I already achieved the "ride for 30 minutes without having a heart attack" goal. So now I have to make up another goal. So here it goes.

Be able to ride for 30 minutes on a regular basis. Then bump it up to 1 hour. Then bump up my average speed.

Then get a slightly softer seat. And maybe just a hair or two wider. Not like a fat old lady bike seat, but something just a tiny bit wider. The seat the bike has is starting to be a pain on the ass.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

How To Piss Money Away.

Before we learn to piss away money, its time for a King Tut update! The exhibit was excellent. There was some cool stuff there. I enjoyed it very much. I saw lots of stuff that I had seen in books, or on the TV, but never really thought I would see in real life. But then there it was, right in front of me. Behind some glass. It really was fantastic. If you get a chance to go - DO IT! Just buy the tickets and go. The exhibit will be in Chicago next, then it will go to Philly, then off to London. Even if you have to drive 100 miles to get to one of these places, it is well worth it. Trust me.

Now on to today's lesson. How to piss money away. Todays THEME SONG is by The Flying Lizards.

The first, and most important, step in pising money away is to get a wild hair up your ass to buy something. This wild hair can come from anyplace. Best Buy sale flyers. A store display. Someone else buys something and you see it. Froogle. Television. Radio. Billboards. You get the idea.

Once you get this wild hair up your ass, and you feel the urge to buy something, the WORST thing you can do is just stay at home and find reasons to be lazy. This is not a good way to piss money away. You have to nuture that wild hair, and make it itch even more by shopping for stuff.

Lets take this item for example.


This is a Specialized Hardrock Sport Disk bicycle. As you can see, it has front and rear disk brakes. It also has 21 speeds, a forged aluminum alloy frame, front suspension forks, alloy rims, stainless steel spokes, some sort of fancy gear shifting thingie, and quick release wheels and seat. The gear shifty thing has two levers the front gears, and two levers for the rear gears. To upshift, you simply click one of the levers once. To downshift, you use the other lever. The downshift lever has a longer throw than the upshift, so you can downshift really fast. Sweet huh?

I thought so. So I bought it. Now I have not had my ass on anything with less than 4 wheels since 1992. But did that stop me? Hell no.

Now what caused this? Well, at work I looked at a Target sale flyer and saw a 20 inch flat screen TV for $88. I did sort of "need" this TV, because the TV in my room was only 13 inches. A 20 inch upgrade would be nice I thought, and for $88 why the hell not? So I bought it. Anyway, while I was there I looked at the bikes, for some reason. I saw a cool looking full suspension bike with front disk brakes and rear calipers for only $150. Not bad for an aluminum frame bike.

I had a vision of me using the bike to excercise or something. Why, I might even ride the 15 mile Shark Valley loop in Everglades National Park!

But when I went home, I could not find anything about the bike on the internet. I used Google and Froogle. Nothing. I figured that meant the Target bike was crap, and a waste of money.

So I found a more expensive bike at Target. A Schwinn S40. I have heard of Schwinn before! This must be a good bike right?

Wrong. Once again, I found very little on this bike, other than I could get one free by going to some website and completing three offers from the sponsors.

But the wild hair was still up there! So I went to a real bike store. I found a really nice bike for $320. I was ready to buy it, but then it turns out the frame was a 20 inch. I need a larger frame. So the bike store said they could order me one of the $320 bikes. Great! Do it!

But it was not that easy. The XL bike frame was considered "oversize" and came with an extra $80 freight charge.

DOH! That was not exactly good. So I ask what they had in stock in a 21 or 22 inch frame.

Then I found the Specialized Hardrock Sport Disk in a 21 inch frame. It was a good fit. Yes, one inch does apparently make a difference. The bike store guy said that the 20 inch frame would not give me proper "extension" and that if I just raised the seat higher I would have to ride hunched over because the handlebars would remain where they were.

Anyway, when the dust was cleared, and I had bought the bike, a water bottle holder, a water bottle for the water bottle holder, and a cable lock I had spent a grand total of $509.71

Now, technically I have not pissed away any money yet. If I use the bike, it will be well worth it. The day I bought it (Wednesday) I rode it around a bit. After about 10 minutes, my ass was kicked. I had drank up all the water (the bike store guy said it was enough water for a 2 to 3 hour ride, or longer in cool weather). Yea right. My pulse was so high I had to go to a veternarian and hook up to a hummingbird heart monitor.

Today I rode it again. I rode for 10 minutes, and went 2 miles. According to my GPS, my max speed was 14.9 mph, my average speed was 10 mph. Towards the end of the ride my average speed was closer to 8 mph. Pretty slow. But my ass seemed to be less kicked.

My goal is to be able to ride for 30 minutes without any internal organs failing. Once I accomplish this, I will set another goal.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Got A Condo Made Of Stona

Tomorrow I am going to see this guy.


NO NO NO! This is all wrong. Way too much body hair there. While this guy did make the THEME SONG for this post, I will not see this dude tomorrow. Maybe. I might. You never whow who will show up to things.

I am actually going to see stuff like this.


The Fort Lauderdale Museum Of Modern Art is home to the King Tut treasures thing. There will be a lot of stuff, ancient stuff, on display.

The exhibit will feature treasures found in the King's tomb. I do not know how many treasures will be there, but it will be a lot of stuff. And like I said, the stuff is ancient - everything will be at least 3,500 years old.

I do not know if the actual King Tut will be there, but this is what he looks like today.


As you can see, he does not look so good. But lets see how you look in 3,500 years! Ill bet you will not look so good either. Then again, beach sand looks pretty good - so you might look better than King Tut. Who knows.

I already purchased two tickets, WITH the audio tour option for an extra $7 per ticket. Total cost to me - $77. Is it worth it? There is no doubt in my mind that it is worth every penny. By all the evidence we have today, humanity seems to have originated in Africa. Human civilization seems to have originated in the Middle East area (in modern day Iraq in fact). The ancient kingdom of Egypt was one of the Earth's first great civilizations.

And I am all set to see some stuff from that ancient kingdom. While I would like to go to Egypt and see more stuff, it would cost a lot more than $77 to do that. For now, this is the best I can do.

You can see where the treasures will go next at this site - www.kingtut.org. If they are going to be in a city near you, get your tickets! This exhibit may never leave Egypt again.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Why It Is Not Working, Mr. President

As you may have noticed, the President has been hogging up a lot of air time recently. His weekly radio address was delivered on TV and the radio, and then today he was on the TV again - this time taking questions. In the last few days, he has hogged up more air time than he has over the last few years.

So why is the golden boy doing this? The answer is fairly simple - his approval ratings are way down, and dropping faster than the 20 pound lead cannonball weight I use on my downrigger. So he is trying to do some damage control, only it is not working. Polls taken today indicate his approval rating is still dropping.

Now for my theory as to why this is. Why, after so many years of "heil Bush" mentality, is the golden luster gone?

The answer lies in the south, and midwest. For years, the south was a democrat stronghold. Look at all the democrat presidents that hailed from the south in recent times. Carter from Georgia. Clinton from Arkansas. Franklin Roosevelt bought a farm in the south after going there for his polio treatment. In 1932, after winning the election, declared that it was a “red-letter day” for him to “have had the opportunity to come here and stand where Jefferson Davis once stood.” Harry Truman grew up in the segregated society of border-state Missouri. According to Leuchtenburg, he “made no effort to conceal his racist convictions.” His family was so pro-Confederacy that when in 1905, as a young National Guard soldier, he wore his blue uniform to visit his grandmother, she told him, “Don’t bring it here again.” And Lyndon Johnson lived in Texas, and unlike Bush was actually born in a former confederate state.

All these men had this in common - they were democrats, they all had political careers in the south, and they were all elected to be President. The south became democrat country after the Civil War, because that evil Abe Lincoln was a republican (among other reasons).

But times change. FDR came up with "the new deal", which is the foundation of most of the social programs we have today. Truman supported Civil Rights. And so on.

The south was, and still is, rural and poor. Lets face it - where are there more rich people, Mississippi or Vermont? Alabama or New York? And who were the republican presidents? People like Calvin Coolidge, a lawyer born on Vermont. A member of high society, who did nothing for the unwashed masses who lost their ass in the 1929 market collapse. A northerner. A yankee. You get the idea.

So how did the republicans become the party of the south? How did the party that wants to scale down social programs become the party of the poorest states? Trickery and deception of course!

First there was the whole civil rights thing. Here were a bunch of southern states, who had Jim Crow laws on the books, being forced to do away with them by yet another round of northern aggrsssion. States rights! And when democrats turned and supported civil rights, the republicans, who wanted southern votes and to undo the new deal, saw a chance. They started to paint democrats as "against state rights and pro a large, powerful, federal government".

And it began. Democrats were anti-states rights, and in favor of a HUGE and powerful federal government. They wanted to tell states what to do from DC. White men in the south were told that democrats want to collect all the guns, so that the people would not be able to resist a hostile takeover staged from DC. Everything became a conspiricy, against freedom. Social programs were just a way to "take taxes from working people and give them to lazy, mostly black, people who do not want to work".

In the south, wellfare is NOT for white people. White people are in "disability" or "assisstance". They do not see medicare or medicade was wellfare. I know at least one white person (a cousion of mine in fact) that was on "disability" for years, because she "was too nervous to work". Yet she voted republican for years, even when she decided that she was gay. How can this be? How could a white gay female on wellfare vote republican, the party that would see all gays thrown in jail and all social programs outlawed? Because she fell for the con job.

I own guns. Many guns. Handguns, rifles, and even a shotgun. I use the County gun range, which is actually a public park. But I know some people who WILL NOT USE the County range. Why? Well, the County required you to have a card to use the range! GOVERNMENT CONTROL! They want to know who has guns, so they can come take them away! In reality, all the card does is let the range workers know you have say through their safety class, and you know the range rules. That way, when you break the rules, they can just kick you out without having to hear "but I did not know that was not OK".

But the paranoia runs deep. Into your life it will creep. This is how the republicans took over. They used religion, they made people paranoid over a large powerful federal government that was going to outlaw state rights and ban civil liberties, in order to institute a socialist / communist state.

Then in walks Bush. The paranoid voted him in. He was not going to abuse the powers of the federal government! In fact, in 2000 he ran on the platform that the government was too large and needed to be made smaller. He said he would turn more power over to state and local governments. He did not want to "tax and spend" like Al Gore was going to do. And so on.

But look at what the man has done. He has expanded the size of the federal government more than Clinton did. He has spent the surplus, and taken the United States back into massive deficit spending policies. The tax cuts that were going back to the taxpayers, went back to the taxpayers who least needed them. But still, the people went along with it, because Bush was pro-life, anti-gay, pro-gun, and so on.

But the last straw was when Bush started to do stuff that the paranoid saw as the first stept of a government taking power away from the people. The domestic spying. The secret jails. Stuff that they expceted Clinton to do, stuff that the republican paranoia campaign said would happen.

The first steps that the federal government was going to take in the quest to take over. This is what the paranoid have been watching out for.

Bush has said he authorized the NSA to spy on America. Yea, he claims that "only terrorists" are being spied on, but how do we know this is the case? What if the NSA is spying on this blog, the people that comment in it, my email, or even my cell phone? How would I know? What if the NSA knows I have guns? WAIT! They DO know I have guns, because I mentioned this in my blog - and we allready covered the fact that the NSA spies on my blog.

Could I end up in a secret jail? Possibly! Why, they could come right now! AGGHH! A BLACK SUV WITH DARK TIBTED WINDOWS just drove past my house!

And when the president got on TV and claimed that he had the constitutional authority to give the stamp of approval to unrestricted domestic spying, it was all over. The damage has been done. Republican politicians, in republican states, are calling for hearings.

The senate could not prevent a fillabuster of the patriot act, even if there is enough republican votes to do so. The patriot act is now seen as a tool that would allow a repressive government to do away with civil rights, and bring in a new era of federal government control. Freedom is under attack, and not from some guy in a cave in Afganistan, but from some guy in a large white house with a huge lawn and surrounded by a very nice iron gate.

Mr. Presidenet, you should just stop with the press confrences. Go back to trying to blame democrats for everything. Stop trying to justify the NSA and unrestricted domestic spying. Quit saying that without the patriot act, we are all doomed to another terror attack. Find another thing to blame everything on other than September 11.

You own paranoid minions are starting see all the things that the republican party made them paranoid of in the first place. Your damage control will not work this time, you simply went too far.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Crappy Formatting

For some reason, Blogger decided to FUBAR my post. It looked fine before I clicked "publish".

Beers Of The U.K. Part 2



Beer Name: Kelpie
Origin: Scotland
Type: Seaweed Ale


This beer caught my eye because of its name. Kelpie seaweed ale? How could
one NOT buy this stuff, just to see what it tastes like? This is what I was
thinking when I saw the bottle in the supermarket. I just had to know.

I researched this beer a bit, and uncovered this information. It seems that
those wacky Scotts were into making beer any way they could. This included using
seaweed harvested from the beach as a fertilizer for barley. The beer company
claims to use actual seaweed in the mash tun, along with organic malts - the
darker malts they roast themselves. For those who care, the seaweed is harvested
from the Argyll coast.

The color of this beer is dark. Very dark, almost like a stout. But when held up to light,you can see that it has a deep mahogany color. The taste is rather light, as is
the alcohol content. At 4.4%, this is one of the lightest beers featured in this
blog. The taste is that of a light Scottish Ale. It has a Earthy / smoky taste,
but it is not overpowering. It is lightly hopped, with a malty flavor -
chocolate malt to be exact. The Earthy / smoky flavor is defiantly a background
flavor, the dominate flavor is the chocolate malt.

The addition of seaweed means that according to the purist, it is not proper
to call this anything but a seaweed ale. The Belgians are into adding almost
anything to their mash, but then again Belgian beer is an animal all to itself
(I will visit Belgium on my tour - you can count on that!). If the seaweed were
left out, this beer would be close to a porter style ale, with a slight Earthy /
smoky taste. But to hell with the purists. Good beer is good beer.

I should also note something about its name. Kelpie does not refer to the
seaweed. The Scots do not call seaweed kelp it seems. In folklore, a kelpie is a
creature that lives in EVERY loch (lake) in Scotland. The most famous Kelpie is
Nessie. Kelpies would lure unsuspecting people to a watery grave. The picture on
the label is an ancient symbol for a Kelpie.

My verdict - Kelpie is pretty good. It is light, so it is fairly easy to
drink. It has a low alcohol content, yet comes close to the body of a porter
style ale. If I were in the mood for a dark ale on a hot summer day out on my
boat, Kelpie would be a good choice. Heavy high-alcohol beers are better for
cool days if you ask me. I would rate this one as a 7 1/2.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have some Kelpie to drink.

I think I will tune into some BAGPIPE MUSIC while I finish the beer
. Join
me, why don't you? This happens to be the ringtone on my cell phone.

********************************************************************************************************



Beer Name: Whitbread Pale Ale

Origin: United Kingdom (Interbrew LTD)
Type: Pale Ale

Finally! Back to my favorite style of beer. The pale ale. There is no finer
beer than a good pale ale. Be it a hot day, or a cold day, or even in the middle
of a hurricane, nothing beats a pale ale. That is, so long as the roof stays on
your house.

The color of the beer is a deep golden color, typical of a pale ale.
Whitbread is on the darker end of the pale ale color spectrum, similar to the
color of a Bass Ale. Pale Ale fans will know exactly what I am talking about
here.

The flavor is very good. This is not an India Pale Ale, meaning the hops
bitterness is under control. The hops is very well balanced with the malt. The
beer does not have a malty taste, nor are you hit by a hoppy bite - but if I had
to pick a winner I would go with the hops. But only by a razor thin margin.
Something, either the hops, the malt, the yeast, or a combination of two or more
of that stuff, gives this beer a slight fruit taste. VERY slight.

One word of warning. The BLUE LABEL bottle, like the one pictured, is brewed
and bottled in the UK. The RED label is made in New England by the Boston Beer
Company. The red label stuff is not the same as the blue label stuff. Reviews I
have found for the red label are not that great.

My verdict - this beer is good. It does not seem to have a high alcohol
content, so you can kick back with this beer and not get blotto. This would make
a decent boat beer, to pass some time while fishing for nothing (I never catch
squat - but then again I never try very hard). This would also be a good "hang
out on the porch with some friends" beer. One could drink two or three of these
beers without a problem - assuming of course that you do not chug em in a funnel
or something retarded like that. I will give it a 7, but only because I would
feel bad with giving it a 6.

Yes frat boys, beer funnels are retarded. Now go order some pledges to strip
down to their underwear so you can paddle them. That is not gay at all.

***************************************************************************************




Beer Name: Hen's Tooth
Origin: Morland, England
Style: English "Strong" Ale.

WOW! This is a good beer. The Greene King people came up with a real winner
with this offering. Hen's Tooth is bottle conditioned. For all you non-beer
people out there, what this means is that the beer is put into the bottle flat.
It gets its carbonation from yeast that is added to the bottle. The vast
majority of bottled beer used a method of forced carbonation, where all the
yeast is filtered out and the beer is bottled under pressure to retain the fizz.

In bottle conditioned beer, there is just a little unfermented sugar in the
beer, which the yeast can feed on. This gives the beer a nice, mellow foam head.
And extra vitamin E from the yummy yeast that gets into your glass.

Alcohol content of this beer is 6.5%. I would classify this as a weaker
"strong ale", but I am not complaining. This stuff is just plain great. At
first, I taste the hops. but then I can taste some complex stuff going on. There
are hints of fruit (probably caused by the active yeast), and of course the
malt. A little research led me to conclude that the most likely malt suspects
are traditional pale ale malt, with some lighter crystal malt added for good
measure. I can not pin down exactly what kind of hops are used, but if I had to
guess I would go with Fuggles or East Kent Goldings.

You can always tell a bottle conditioned beer by the presence of sediment on
the bottom of the bottle. You can, if you wish, pour the beer carefully and
prevent the yeast from getting into your glass -but that is for wussies! I
suggest you do not worry about a little yeast in your beer. It will not kill
you, and the yeast flavor is part of the beer. Enjoy it.

Another cool thing to note about this beer. The bottle says 50cl. You almost
never see this. Most bottles this size say 500 ml. It is very rare for me to see
anything measured in centiliters. Milliliters yes. Liters yes. But CENTI-liters?
No. Almost never. Very cool. For all you non-metric people out there, 50 cl, 500
ml, and 1/2 liter are all the same. In archaic US measurement it equals 1 pint
0.9 fluid ounce.

Hen's Tooth English Ale is the closest thing to "real ale" you can get in a
bottle. By real ale I mean not forced carbonated. There are other bottled beers
that are bottle conditioned, but not many. If you ever see this beer in a store,
buy a bottle or two. If you do not like it, send it to me. I will properly
dispose of it.

This beer gets a solid 10. Cheers to the Greene King Brewing Company! You
guys really did a wonderful job with this one.

******************************************************************************************************************




Beer Name: Samuel Smith's Old Brewery Pale Ale
Origin: Yorkshire, England
Style: Pale Ale.

I love my pale ale! And I have tried Samuel Smith's before - their Nut Brown
Ale. So needless to say, my expectations were pretty high. I remember the Nut
Brown Ale as being some good stuff.

But first, some background on this beer. Research indicates that Samuel
Smith's Brewery is the oldest brewery in Yorkshire, and one of the few remaining
independent breweries in all of England. I do not know how reliable the
independent brewery thing is, but the oldest brewery in Yorkshire is probably
true.

Now on to the important stuff. The color of this beer is somewhat dark for a
pale ale. Not that this is a bad thing, on the contrary I rather favor the
darker pales. For my American beer drinking readers - beer is supposed to come
in a whole slew of shades. So just because two beers are pale ales does not mean
they will be the same color. American beer is pretty much all yellow. The same
color it is when you wizz it out.

The brewery suggests drinking this beer at about 55 degrees, which is a bit
warmer than my fridge. So I had to let this beer warm up a bit. Hold on a minute
while my beer warms up a bit.
Click HERE for a musical interlude while my beer warms up. If you require another
interlude, try THIS ONE.

There! The beer is at proper drinking temperature. Now I can rate it
properly. The smell, or nose, of the beer is pleasing. It smells like a fine
ale. By that I mean it seems that aromatic hops were added to this beer. There
is the slight fragrance of the hops on the beer. I like that.

I already covered the color. It is slightly dark for a pale ale. but upon
tasting, it does not have a strong dark malt flavor at all. This is a good
thing. You do not want your pale ale to taste like a porter! If so, you would
just buy a porter! I like the way this beer pulls off the deep color without
having too much of a chocolate malt taste.

Like any good pale, the hops taste is there. You can not ignore it. It
overpowers the malt flavor nicely. Of course, I am a hop head so I like this.
Yea, I have been known to drink some malty beers, but given a choice I gravitate
to the hoppy stuff every time.

Wow am I off track here. With all the regimental marches and hurricane Wilma
on the way and stuff. Back to the beer! The beer has a distinct hoppy taste,
without any malty sweetness. This is a pale ale fit for any hop head! I like it
very much. I am going to rate this one a 9, but only because I drank it on the
same night as the Hen's Tooth. I like Hen's Tooth better.

*********************************************************************************************




Beer Name: Fuller's ESB
Type: Extra Special Bitter
Origin: England

It is hard to find a bitter in the United States. I think that the name
scares people off. Who would want something called a "bitter"?

But a bitter is not really bitter at all. Now don't get me wrong here. If
what you want is a malty sweet beer, a bitter is probably too hoppy (bitter) for
you. But for someone like myself who favors a nice India Pale Ale (the king of
pale ales), a bitter is much like a pale ale, only with less hops. In other
words, I like the stuff.

So to recap, a bitter, or in this case an ESB (extra special bitter), is like
a pale ale. Pale ales and bitter use the same type of yeast, the same type of
malt, and the same type of hops. Only bitter style beers use less hops. So a
bitter is less bitter than a good pale ale. Get it? I knew you would.

But for the 53,000,000 people who voted for Bush in 2004, this is very
confusing. So as a result, bitter is hard to find in the USA. People see the
name and figure that they ought to just drink Michelob Light or some other
"quality" swill that passes for beer, but only in America.

For my American blog readers, bitter style beer is a huge seller in the UK.
It is at least as popular as a pale ale, and possibly even a bigger seller. It
is everywhere. In America, you can go to any bar and order a "Bud", where in
England you can walk into any pub and order a bitter. The only difference being
that bitter is way better than Bud.

So now to the beer. The color of the bitter is what I would expect from a
pale ale a little on the dark side. In other words, a rich, deep gold-red color.
It tastes like a good pale ale as well. In fact, if I did not see the bottle
label I would have guessed this beer to be a pale ale. But it is not. It is a
bitter. An extra special one.

The biggest clue that this is in fact not a true pale ale is the color.
"Pale" ales are usually more yellow in color (hence the name pale ale). There is
a restaurant that I like to go to in Miami called Titanic Brewery. As you might have
guessed, they make beer there. They also have food. Titanic makes a bitter
(named Britannic Best Bitter) and an IPA (or India Pale Ale named White Star
IPA). I usually order the IPA, because it is noticeably more hoppy than the
bitter, and I like hops. The color difference is also noticeable, with the IPA
being more yellow and the bitter being more red. I like both beers, but I seem
to gravitate to the IPA more often than I go with the bitter.

It is hard to know exactly without comparing this bitter to Titanic's bitter,
but I think that the Fuller's is slightly more hoppy.

I will rate this one as a 10. Another perfect score. I would absolutely buy
this beer again. If you are lucky enough to find this beer anywhere - buy a
bottle or two. Try it. Do not be afraid of the label. If you do not like it, you
know what to do with it. Send it to me. I will turn it into pee using magic.

****************************************************************************************************




Beer Name: Samuel Smith's Old Brewery Tadcaster or Taddy Porter
Origin: England
Type: Porter

Time for more beer history! Porter style beer arises from the good old days
when people traveled over land by rail and over seas by ship. Back then, a good
job for a laborer to have was that of a porter. You would help rich people load
and unload the excessive amounts of luggage they would carry with them, or you
might even load and unload cargo. It was ass busting work, but better than
working in a coal mine. Porters would work hard, and party just as hard. While
it was a decent job, it did not exactly make one rich. OK so it was a crap job.
No point in sugar coating the past.

Being a hard, labor intensive, back breaking, thankless job - who the hell
would take the job? Why, the Irish of course! There were many non Irish porters
as well, but you get my point. So what does this have to do with beer? Good
question! Irish men are known for their love of stouts. The closer to the color
of used motor oil, the more the Irish will like the beer. Englishmen on the
other hand seemed to like pale ales and bitters. Got it? Good.

Porters were born when people who loved stouts moved into areas
infested with pale ale drinkers. Porters were not wealthy, and could not really
afford to pay for stouts (stouts typically use a lot of dark roasted malt and
hops to balance out the flavor). So pub owners invented "porter" beer. You can
think of a porter as a stout light. Just as dark as a stout, but without the
rich stout flavor. The ratio of dark to light malt is higher (so less malt is
needed to get the used oil color), and since less malt is used less hops are
required. Bottom line is that porter beer was cheaper to make, and therefore
cheaper to sell. Porters could afford to get pissed after a long day of loading
heavy wooden trunks full of rich people's crap on and off boats and trains. The
beer style became known as "porter" as a result. Even today, the name lingers
on. Kind of like the stink in the bathroom after burrito night.

So back to the beer. The color of this beer is dark. Dark enough so that you
can not see the sun through a glass filled with the stuff. Dark as Miami is
right now with 90% of the power still out. You get the idea.

The beer looks like a stout, kind of smells like a stout - but the taste is
lighter than a stout. Just as I would expect from a porter. You can taste the
dark roasted chocolate malt in there, but it is not very strong. The hops level
is rather low, the dominate flavor is the chocolate malt - but just barely. My
highly tuned beer taste buds can detect some yummy hops in there.

The overall flavor is that of a mild stout - which is exactly what a porter
is. It does not taste like a pale ale or a bitter, so a stout drinker would like
this stuff. On the flip side, someone who drinks pale ale or bitter might also
like a porter. Maybe. It all depends on how the person feels about dark roasted
malt.

I like stout. Every so often I have to kick back with one. Sometimes my stout
consumption is purely recreational ( like when I do car bombs) , and sometimes
my stout consumption is more civilized. But really now - since when are stout
drinkers civilized? But the truth is that South Florida is just too friggin HOT
for stout. While not necessarily high in alcohol, stouts do pack a deep rich
super full body flavor. Not exactly something you want to drink when it is 90
degrees in the shade, and the beach sand is just a few degrees away from turning
into molten glass. High alcohol content beers, and stouts, are (for me) more of
a cool weather thing.

But a porter might be a happy middle ground. They are lighter in flavor than
a stout, and do not pack any more alcohol than a pale ale. Drinkable even when
it is hot outside.

I will give this beer a rating of 10. It is an excellent example of a porter
style beer. It has a stout like taste, without being too heavy. If you have ever
tried a stout, and thought that it needed a bit of watering down - try a porter!
On the other hand, even if you like a full bodied stout, you will not turn down
a porter. This is a very good beer from the Samuel Smith people.

*****************************************************************************************************




Beer Name: Old Nick
Origin: London
Beer Style: Barley Wine

So, it is Halloween night and I have no party to go to. So what should I do?
I know! Crack open the bottle of Old Nick that has been hanging out in my fridge
since Hurricane Katrina!

Anyway, back to the beer. Barley Wine is a very special beer. If you thought
that you could only make wine out of fruit, you were wrong! Well not really.
Barley Wine is actually beer. It uses beer ingredients. With one important
difference - the yeast. Usually beer yeast is not used for barley wines. The
proper yeast to use is wine or even better champagne yeast.

Now you need to know a little about yeast! Yeasty beasties are NOT all the
same! Different strands of yeast impart different flavors to beer. Breweries
that develop their own special strains of yeast guard that stuff like it was
gold. Beer yeast comes in two basic versions - bottom fermenting yeast (used mostly
in lagers, these yeast like a cooler temperature to do their magic in) and top
fermenting yeast (used more often in ales - these yeast like a slightly higher
temperature). The Japanese even went to the trouble of inventing a fast
fermenting yeast used in their "dry" beers. There are also a whole lot of
different wine yeasts, but I do not know as much about them.

Yeast "eat" sugar, and "pee" alcohol. They "fart" carbon dioxide. In beer,
fermentable sugars come from the malt. The same happens in wine, but wine makers
allow all the CO2 to escape (unless that wine is to be champagne). In this
regard, wine and beer yeast are identical. But wine yeast and beer yeast are not
the same! Wine yeast strains can ferment sugars to a higher alcohol content than
beer yeast can. Most beer styles are in the 4% - 6% range, while wines are
usually 15% percent or so, and can be as high as 20%. Beer yeast just can
not get up to 15%. Beer yeast, placed into an environment with that much sugar,
will simply result is a stuck fermentation (when not all the sugars are
fermented out). The resulting beer will not be very good.

You can probably figure out the rest. Barley Wine makers use a whole heaping
load of malt, together with hops and wine yeast to ferment out all the sugar.
Sounds simple huh? Well, it is not. Barley wine is perhaps the most complex of
all beers to make. The only rules are the alcohol content has to be higher than
normal. That is it. It can be sweet, it can be bitter, it can have a smoky
flavor, it can have a fruity flavor - anything goes. Any type of malt can be
used, and any type of hops can be used - in ANY amount. It can be light in
color, it can be dark - but usually ends up darker in color.

As a result, barley wines vary greatly in flavor depending on who the brewer
is.

Old Nick is darker in color. Held up to a bright light, the hue is a very
deep red. VERY deep. Not exactly dark as a stout or porter, but much darker than
an ale.

The flavor is more on the sweet side than the hoppy side. I can taste the
hops in the beer, the beer is not super malty sweet - enough hops were used to
balance out the high amount of malt. The overall flavor is actually quite
complex - there is the malt sweetness, the hops bitterness, and some other stuff
going on in the beer too. There are some subtle fruit like flavors, most likely
caused by whatever yeast were used. I like this version of barley wine very
much!

I have had exactly four barley wines in my life. The first was at Prescott
Brewery, in Prescott Arizona. The second was at Titanic Brewery, located very
close to my home. The third barley wine was imported from Germany just for me (I
have a ex-patriot friend who is currently living in Germany - he brought me 2
liters of some stuff made near his home last time he flew in). Old Nick is my
fourth barley wine.

The Prescott Brewery and German barley wines were sweet. Titanic's version of
barley wine is more on the hoppy side. Old Nick is in the middle.

I should note at this point, barley wines are known to be better when aged -
just like regular wines. I might go buy a few more bottles of Old Nick and put
them into storage for 6 months and 1 year, just to see what happens.

At only 7.2%, Old Nick is the weakest barley wine I have tried. Any lower in
alcohol, and it would be hard to even call something a barley wine. In fact,
some might argue that 7.2% is too low to qualify as a barley wine - but I will
not press the issue. As far as I am aware, there is no rule saying that barley
wines have to be above 8% or 9% or whatever. I would draw the line closer to 6%,
as most beer is below 6% alcohol by volume.

Old Nick is a velvet smooth barley wine, without a high alcohol content to
kick your ass. This is a barley wine that one can enjoy a few of, without
getting blotto. The lower alcohol content makes this beer more refreshing than
other barley wines I have tried. Also the lower alcohol content means that one
can enjoy this barley wine in warmer climates. Young & CO'S Brewery did a
fantastic job with this beer.

I will give this barley wine a 9. Very excellent! If you can find this one,
buy it! I think it might be a seasonal brew, so grab it while you can!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Who Made Who?

I was asked for more thoughts on a statement I made in my last post. I mentioned that the secularism of Christmas is due to the rampant materialism going on. Now I will type about why I think this.

First, one needs to ask this question. How did a one day religous holiday turn into the month long buying spree we have today? This question is the key to understanding what is really going on.

The "tradition" of giving gifts, as far as my research leads me to believe (my very shallow research by the way, I did not bother to dig too deep), originated fairly recently. Way back in the classical economics days, when most people were farmers, the idea of gift giving on any kind of scale was something only a very few people could indulge in. People were too busy trying to survive, farming is a job that you have to go to every day or else you just might starve. There are no days off - someone has to feed the farm animals and tend the crops every single day.

So we will fast forward a little bit, into Victorian times. During this time there were still a lot of very poor people - but there were also more people who could indulge in gift giving. Of course the kings and lords and earls and dukes of the world could afford more lavish gifts, but you also had a new class of people out there - the middle class. Not exactly old money rich, but not poor either. This new class of people had some disposable income and leisure time. Ships had first class, second class, and steerage. It was the second class people that brought on the change.

It was this time that Saint Nicholas was dug up. The Russian and Greek Orthodox churches ALWAYS held St. Nick in high regards, but the non-orthodox churches did not really make a big deal about the guy. St. Nick, according to church legend, was a wealthy man who became a bishop. He used his family wealth to anonymously give money to families who fell out of wealth so that they could afford to marry their daughters back into wealth - and not have to sell them into prostitution (or worse yet, let them marry some poor person).

So there we go! A perfect excuse to justify a little gift giving. And since the three wise men gave gifts, and St. Nick gave gifts, it was OK to indulge a little on a holy day.

As the idea of gift giving became more and more popular, shop keepers, being in business to make money, began to see some potential. Why not exploit this trend? Why not try to use the holiday as an EXCUSE to get more people to buy more stuff from your shop?

But one problem remained for the retailers. The little problem about December 25th being a religous holiday.

Thus began the "war on Christmas". Stores started to promote non-religous (secular) symbols to create an extended holiday season. Wreaths, trees, stockings, Santa, reindeer, and all that other stuff. And people began to buy more and more stuff every year. So shops promoted the extended holiday season idea more. Non religous songs were invented, and sold to the public. More and more reindeer and fat men in red suits were spotted all over the place. Candy canes. Decorated trees. Elves. More and more non religous symbols, which could be used guilt free to promote the new shopping season.

This brings us to where we are today. People line up on Thanksgiving night to be the first ones at the mall to get those good sale prices. People trample old ladies to get the $20 DVD player at the discount store. Newspapers weigh 50 pounds because of all the sale fliers. Everywhere you look, you see symbols that say "BUY STUFF!".

And it works. People get "festive", or "into the spirit". So they buy more stuff. And the cycle continues.

And the consertives blame the ACLU when people say "happy holidays".

So whose fault is all this stuff? The stores? The people buying all the stuff? Athiests? Purple monsters who live on Saturn's moon Titan?

I say who cares. The season is more fun with all the parties and festiveness and stuff than it would be as a one day religous holiday.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Sign Of The End Times

This just in from CNN - the Certianly Not News network. The Pope says that materialism is killing the Christmas spirit.

Notice who said this. The Pope! And notice who he said is polluting christmas. Materialism. Not science. Not liberal athiests. Not secularism, and not any of the other reasons those blowhards Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson keep talking about.

Actually, the secularism thing is directly related to materialism - but that is another matter.

Now the next time some right wing suckhole talking head is on your television, talking about how the ACLU is attacking christmas, remember what me and the Pope told you. It is not the ACLU, it is rampant materialism. It is the stores, telling you to go out and buy stuff just because it is December. **NOTE** Just today I did buy a 20 inch flat screen TV for $88 at Target, but I resisted buying the PS2 game I want! For now anyway. I will buy Gun one of these days.

And the funny thing is that while it is clear as day (a day in FL, not a blizzard day in Chicago) that materialism is what turned the holidays into what they are today - NONE of the right wing "boo hoo Christmas is under attack by liberals" will ever say anything bad about the retailers who obviously want to turn Christmas into nothing more than a month long spending frenzy.

After all, EVERYTHING business does is good. Right? I mean, the private sector would never sell its own grandmother to wolves for fun and profit would it?

Normally, I find myself in disagreement with the Pope. But in this case, I think the man is correct. Of course, I said it first - so in theory he agrees with me, as opposed to him saying it first with myself in agreement. Or something like that.

And while I am at it - zero comments on my last post? I must be getting good at the blogging thing.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

The Big Trial

Today I will post about this whole "trial" thing in Iraq. The Bush administration has used the trial to show that progress is being made in Iraq. After all - there is a trial! There is a real court house, a judge, witnesses, defense lawyers, and the whole nine yards.

But will it be a fair trial? I say no. Not that the man deserves a fair trial or anything - but lets be honest here. It is impossible for the man to get anything close to a fair trial.

The judge will either be part of the old click, or not. If he is part of the old system, Saddam will be found not guilty. If the judge was NOT part of the old system, Saddam will be found guilty - no matter what. Why even call a witness? Why have lawyers? Why put on the whole show at all? Do they think they are fooling anyone here?

And how can you have a trial in a nation with no laws? There is no Constitution in Iraq. There is no government to speak of really. The nation is involved in a Civil War at this point - and in all civil conflicts both sides say the other side is wrong.

Furthermore - who gave Saddam the means to pull off the crimes he is accused of? Humm lets see here, who sold Iraq conventional weapons and ignored the use of chemical weapons during the 1980s Iran/Iraq war? Who might have even sold chemical weapons to Iraq in the 1980s conflict?


This photo, taken in 1983, is of none other than Donald Rumsfeld when he had more hair and was a special envoy of Ronald Regan. Yes, Saddam was our good buddy back then - because he was fighting that mean old guy in Iran. The same guy we were secretly giving weapons to, because there was some kind of "guns for hostages" deal made.


And we say "we never negotiate with terrorists". We shure did make a deal these two men! We knew they were both on the unsavory side, but we needed stooge A to keep stooge B in check. We gave Saddam chemicals (or at the very least ignored the fact Iraq was getting chemicals from somewhere), which he used against Iran - then we act so shocked that he would use them against others.

I have to wonder if he will bother to use the "I was a stooge of the USA" arguement in "court", after accusing the judgs (and the entire legal system) of being a stooge as well.

Chances are, Saddam will never bring any of this up in the court. I think he already knows what the verdict is. He will never admit to being anything except what he thought himself to be - the President of Iraq, stooge to no man, the alpha male, the head honcho, and so on.

In all reality, this trial should be in the Hauge. But for political reasons the Bush administration does not want that. Having the trial in Europe would suggest that things are not exactly under control in Iraq - so the show is being staged in a building made just for the trial, in the heavily guarded green zone.

Now do not get me wrong here! I am not saying that the man was not a bad dude. He clearly was. Most dictators are not exactly loveable people after all. You can not keep the majority down using flowers and fine chocolate - you have to use bullets and boot heels. Saddam did this very well and for many years. The crimes he is accused of in court are probably just the tip of his personal iceberg of death.

But all during the time he was doing these bad things, not only did the USA know about it - we were giving him the means to do so. We were also looking the other way. The thinking at the time was the arab guy who wore western suits and army uniforms was better than the islamic law hardline openly anti-west arab guy. Even if both were actually giant turds.

If Iraq had never invaded Kuwait, Bush would be treating the man like he treats his other oil buddies over there. His crimes would be overlooked, so long as he kept pumping that oil.

The Climate And You



Normally I do not start off with a cartoon, but in this case I just had to. This silly doodle that someone else did (and I stole) really sums it all up.

As long as the USA keeps clowning around, serious efforts to reduce greenhouse gasses can not take place.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

No Days Off For Me!

Today is my Sunday. And I was called into work. Yesterday was my Saturday, and I was called in to work. Yesterday I racked up 9 hours OT (thanks in part to "the incident" that caused one of my flights to arrive 1 hour late) - today I racked up 4 hours OT. Here is the fun part - I did not even know I have a contract, but I do. And in my contract is a pretty neat clause. It says that if I am called in on my day off, it is for a minimum of 4 hours pay.

Now why is the 4 hour clause neat? Today I was only at the airport for about 2.5 hours, but I was paid for 4.

MATH TIME! Monday I got 2 or so hours of OT. Tuesday I got 3 hours of OT. Yesterday I got 9 hours of OT, and today I got 4 hours. This results in a grand total of....18 hours! Actually it is closer to 20 hours, I might be leaving off an hour here or there. The week is not even over yet, there is still Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Work weeks always begin on Monday.

Tomorrow will be the 8th day in a row that I worked without a day off. I will not get more days off till Wednesday, so that makes 12 days of workin in a row. This is a new world record for me.

Of course, this is all not such a bad thing. I will get a massive check for this pay period. I like getting those. It is also good for me because it shows the boss that I do not need to get cut off of the new budget. It will also help me get that "Outstanding" rating that I need in order to get the full pay raise for 2006.

And lastly, all the above will help me in my quest to obtain a 17 foot all welded aluminum flat hull side consule boat with a 40 HP 4 cycle outboard engine and matching trailer. Hell, I might even be able to get the 18 footer. And screw the matching trailer - I do not need that. I have a spare boat trailer that just needs some new wheel bearings ($80 tops for those).

And yes, I do "need" the aluminum boat. Thr boat I have now is perfectly good - but it is not a back water boat. It is more suited for "light offshire" duty. What that means is the Wellcraft is good for some bluewater action on nice days, or even for use in the bay on choppy days. The Wellcraft is a better dive boat.

The Wellcraft is fully paid off, and only cost $2500. Of course more money was put into it - I bought a VHF marine radio, a dual bank waterproof on board battery charger, safety equipment (emergency signal kit, and fire surpression equipment), and stuff. My dad bought a chartplotter, a washdown pump, and the fish finder. The fish finder has yet to find ANY fish - I use it more as a depth sounder.

The aluminum boat will go where the Wellcraft simply can't. The aluminum boat will float in 6 inches of water, the Wellcraft would run aground in water that shallow. The aluminum boat is perfect for hunting for lobster on the grassflats, for going after snook in Hell's Bay, and for a day on the Wilderness Waterway in Everglades National Park. The aluminum boat would also be good for cruising the deeper canals and natural rivers in the freshwater part of the Everglades - the Wellcraft could never hope to get to these places!

I would not have to get rid of my beloved Wellcraft, as the aluminum boat would not be a replacement for it. It is more of a supplement.

And the more OT I get, faster I can afford that flats boat! Who needs days off anyway?!?!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Shooting At MIA.

In case you have not heard, there WAS a shooting at the airport I work at. Do a Google News search and you will get tons of stories.

All I know if whatever the news reports say. I was in concourse H when the shooting took place at concourse D gate 42. CC H is a fair distance from CC D. I did not even know something happened. I got the news from another airport employee when I was in the airport hotel lobby.

Anyway, the event did not really effect my overtime day. One of the flights I had to meet was an hour late, but that happens even when there are no shootings.

The event was tragic, a man was killed. According to reports, the man had mental problems and his wife was saying he had not taken his medication. Not taking your medication is not a reason for law enforcement to shoot you - but then again the guy made a threat in an airport. If there was a bomb in his bag, and he had detonated it, a lot of people could been hurt or killed. The FAMs had no way to know there was no bomb.

Therefore, I do not think that excessive force was used. FAMs are highly trained professionals. They have been flying since at least 2002 - and have never made the news for anything like this.

Still Here

I am still here, just a little on the buay side. Work called this morning, so that means OVERTIME!

I will resume my blog rounds and post more crap/good stuff here when I get home.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Should I Do It?

Do I need to buy this thing?


Reasons to buy:
1. Why not?
2. This is a flat bottom boat with a very shallow draft. The boat I have now is a semi-V hull and needs at least 2 or 3 feet of water.
3. This boat boat sits low in the water, and would make the perfect boat for netting lobster in the shallow grass flats.
4. This boat is perfect for the "Wilderness Waterway" area of Everglades National Park

Reasons to not buy:
1. The cost. I would have to finance this beast. I get a pretty good rate through the Bank Of Dad.
2. There is nothing wrong with the Wellcraft, other than it is not a good shallow water boat and it does not have very much room for netting lobster.
3. This boat, having a flat bottom hull, will be a rough ride in any kind of chop. Unless the water is glass smooth, this boat will rattle your guts.

NOTE - this is the "Blind Duck" version of the boat. I will not pay for the grass camo paint, plain old olive drab (the standard color) is what I will get. This boat is designed for duck hunters, meaning it has the width for proper stability when standing and shooting a 12 guage at ducks. I do not duck hunt, but I would be standing while bully netting for lobster, or going after bonefish.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Guest Workers

Will someone tell nature that hurricane season is friggin OVER already? Today, two days AFTER the season "closed", Epsilon became a hurricane. And surface water around FloirDUH is still warm enough that something else could form - however that is unlikely. The water might still be warm enough, but atmospheric conditions are hostile. The current storm is 1,000 miles east of Bermuda, and is heading towards some rather chilly water - where it will become history, and maybe create a little rain / sleet for England. Or not.

So as soon as nature gets the memo about storm season being over, people along the gulf coast can start fixing their roof. Or for some people, rebuilding homes.

The problem is that the amount of work that needs to be done far surpasses what the current workforce can deal with. People are on waiting lists months long. In Miami, there are people who are being told "sorry, we can not fix your roof until next hurricane season". In the mean time, people will just have to deal with blue tarps and leaks. And the mold that leaks create - lets not forget that stuff!

So maybe this whole "guest worker" idea is not so bad after all. Bush is promoting the crap out of it. Of course, his guest worker idea is not his original idea - but we are all supposed to think that Bush NEVER waffles - he is always right the first time. He never really proposed the idea of "illegal immigrant amnesty" - he ALWAYS meant "guest worker".

But then again , the nation needs roofers.

And then there is this "guest worker" possibility.



Once again, click the image for the full size file.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Will The Real Jerry Falwell Please Shut Up.

You all know how I feel about Pat Robertson thanks to a post I wrote a few days ago. Today, I will vent about his bed buddy Jerry Falwell.

Every December, it is the same thing. People like Falwell have to make a big stink because according to them there are not enough Christmas decorations - that meet with their personal approval - on display. They want tax money to buy nativity displays, and have these displays on every street corner and every public plot of land. They want al stores to be so full of christian symbols that there is no room for stuff to sell. They want all radio stations to play nothing buy church music. And in the case of Mr. Falwell, he wants every television station to just put his fat ass, and nothing else, on the tube.

The evangelical movement claim that the holiday is under attack. They claim that evil athiests and non-christians (meaning those jesus killing jews) want to flush the holiday down the toilet. They want to FORCE the holiday upon everyone, because after all according to them the only way into heaven is to believe exactly what they tell you to believe.

Free thought is from the devil. And so is EVERY OTHER RELIGION.

But lets look at this holiday season through my eyes. I do not subscribe to ANY religion, so I think this gives me a more objective soapbox from which to rant from.

1. Not everyone is a christian, but everyone IS a taxpayer. The whole hoopla over religous displays on public property revolves around this fact, it is NOT an attack on a religion. It has to do with the responsible spending of our collective money. Should the local government spend money on some plastic displays, or spend that money feeding poor people? And if you are going to spend tax money on religous displays, where does it end? Should tax money be spent on jewish symbols? Or how about the month of ramadan? What about hindu holidays? Where does it end? Hindus pay taxes too you know. Is it right to simply ignore their important holidays?

2. This is NOT a christian nation! It is not a jewish nation, it is not an athiest nation - it is simply a nation with unlimited religous freedom. People are free to believe whatever they want, and worship any way they want, so long as you are not doing human sacrifice or anything. The church is seperated from the state, to protect THE CHURCH from the sleeze that is politics. Why these clowns want to mix the church up with the smut and slime that is government is beyond me. Religion will not purify politics, politics will stain religion with blood and greed. This is why the people who started the nation wisely seperated religion from politics. It was not because Thomas Jefferson was a godless athiest who hated christmas.

3. Malls and stores are private business. If the malls thought that people would buy more crap if they replaced the christmas tree (a very secular symbol) with a plastic baby jesus you can bet your ass they would. The fact that stores do not have more non-secular symbols reflects the fact that market research found that this is what shoppers want! Shoppers WANT the giant dead tree. Shoppers WANT their kids photo taken with some creepy guy in a santa costume. Shoppers do not go to a mall to see a nativity display - they go to CHURCH for that. Stores are for BUYING STUFF, churches are for WORSHIP. Get it? Good.

4. Secular symbols of the holiday, such as snowmen, dead trees, reindeer, and so forth are more commonly displayed because that is just the way it is. Like it or not, capitalism has turned christmas into a shopping holiday. Hell, I celebrate christmas - but I do not go to church. I just buy stuff and give it to my friends and family. To me, this time of year is a time to celebrate all that is good in my life. I will spend more time with friends, I will go to holiday parties, I will drink more alcohol, I will buy gifts, and so on.

5. There is no law saying that you can and can not put in your own home, or on your own lawn, during the season. If your neighbors snowman and red nosed reindeer offends you, put up your own display! If you want a public display, then use church property! Nobody will say anything about a church display - because of that seperation thing. The state shall make NO LAWS telling a church what they can and can not believe, or what decorations they can display.

6. Most everything to do with christmas is made up anyway. I am not talking about the birth of Jesus part - that is a matter of faith, and something very personal to people who believe. What IS made up is the timing. Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 25? The bible mentions no date - that that is a fact.

The early church made up the date, because pagen religions would celebrate winter solstice. December 25 ALWAYS falls very close to solstice. Solstice celebrations would last several days, and so does Christmas. Replacing pagen holidays with new christian holidays was something the early church was very good at.

7. Many symbols that churches use are PAGEN in nature - yet they use them anyway. Pagens used to think that evergreen trees had magical powers, because they would stay green all winter while other trees would look dead. Obviously, there was some magic going on there! So they would decorate trees, to please the spirits in the tree and make winter end sooner. Today we have "christmas trees".

Missletoe was hung in homes to keep evil spirts away. Today, the same plant is hung over doorways as an excuse to cop a feel.

Yet, most churches put these pagen symbols up. Why is this? Did Jesus ever have a christmas tree? But yet, there is a tree on the set of the 700 Club. All decorated with pretty glass balls and lights and stuff. Christmas trees became popular in Victorian times, before that you would NEVER see such a symbol of pagenism in a holy church! People like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell are therfore contributing to the secularism of their own holiday!

My grandparents were super religous baptists. They were Southern Baptists. You know what they thought of nativity displays when they first became popular? They thought they were gaudy, and in poor taste. It says in the bible that one should not make graven images right? Religous statues were something only Catholics made. But now, every church puts them up. So much for "traditional values" huh?

I will wrap this post up by repeating my main points.

1. Nobody is attacking christmas.
2. Not everyone celebrates christmas as a religous holiday.
3. Everyone DOES use the malls and other stores.
4. If you are religous, and are offended over what the holiday has become - remember that it is the retail business that did it, not some athiest plot. In December, athiests are all too drunk to plot ANYTHING.
5. Not a single non-christian is trying to tell churches how to celebrate, yet this time of year it seems that every church tries to tell the population how to celebrate.

Freedom of religion is a two way street. You have the freedom to believe whatever you want, and so do I.

Yet, every year it is the same thing. I find it amusing to just sit on the sideline, with no opinion one way or the other. Nativity displays do not offend me, even if they are on public property. I just think it is silly for people to make such a big deal over it - one way or the other.

If you made it this far, do not forget to check out the post below this one!

History - The Way It REALLY Happened!

As we all know, a bunch of hippy beatniks who hate America are trying to re-write history. It is bad enough that these traitors dare to disagree with the president - you would think that would be enough for them. But NO! It is not enough for them - they want to brainwash everyone into believing a warped version of history. We all know that THIS is the way it really happened!



You may click the cartoon for a larger view.