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Sunday, December 24, 2006

T Minus 1 Day

So by now you should pretty much be done with Christmas. And by "done" I mean have nothing else to do. All your gift shopping should be done. The Christmas turkey should be thawing. If you are traveling, you should either be where you want to be OR still stuck in the airport at Chicago or Denver.

But if in the off chance you have some frantic very last minute shopping left to do - remain calm. Resist the urge to buy crappy gifts like this.

Seriously, do people really buy McDonalds gift cards? Who would think this is a good idea? Wow! You got me......obesity and heart disease! Just what I wanted this year!

Call me insane if you must, a gift card to AMC or whatever other movie theater you like is a better idea than a gift card for salty nasty death food. I also have some more suggestions for last minute gifts.

1. Inexpensive table wine. If you ask me, the best wine is whatever wine you like. Price does not factor into the equation here. Some of the best wines I have bought were under $10.

2. The "home made" Christmas cookie scam. Here is how it works. You go to a supermarket that has a bakery and buy some cookies. Look for cookies that are not covered in chocolate or something. When you get them home it is time to add that "I really baked these myself" look. So preheat the oven to around 300 degrees and put some of the cookies in for a few minutes. The idea is to just ever so slightly over bake them. You can do this to the whole batch, or just a portion of the batch - depending on what you think seems to be more "real". Place your "home made" cookies on a festive holiday platter and Saran Wrap em up. If you feel too guilty about this, then you can always melt a few chocolate bars and spruce the cookies up a bit. WARNING - do not get the chocolate too hot or else it may not harden when cool.

Whatever you do, the important thing is that you have a great holiday. Or if you have already celebrated your holiday, that you enjoyed it to the fullest.



Blogger Jane said...

I love the Christmas cookies idea, I may well nick it for next time I have to bring any "home baking" into work.

Have a lovely Christmas Iggy.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obesity and heart disease for Christmas!!! You crack me up. Maybe we could buy McDonalds gift certificates for the people we hate? Hmmmm...My brother in law likes McDonalds!

My Mom is trapped in Denver and won't be getting home to Houston until the 26th. It is sad and depressing, the first Christmas in 63 years of marriage that she and my father have been apart.

Have a great holiday. Drink lots of nog!

Blogger Senor Caiman said...


This year I bought 10 of those giant pooping reindeers from Eckerds for last minute gift giving. This year they made a grunting noise as they pooped the jellybean.

Merry Christmas.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

A giant jellybean pooping reindeer is NOT a lame last minute gift! That is a classic gift that can be brought out every year with the rest of the Christmas decorations. Great idea there! Ronald Reagan would have loved to get one.

Jane - feel free to steal my "home made" cookie idea! No need to give me any credit. Keep it to yourself and nobody will ever know!

Anonymous - yes the gift of obesity and heart disease could be a good gift choice depending on who you are giving it to. IDEA! Lets all send a $5 McDonalds gift card to the President and Vice President! Was that wrong? Here it is, the day before Christmas and I am saying stuff like that. I take it back. But not really.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Heh--how about a blow-up sex reindeer? That would be a great gag gift. I don't think they make such a thing, but they do make sheep.
My favorite wine is one I can get buzzed on without puking that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
I don't give a crap if people buy cookies from a bakery and then give them to me. I'd be pissed if I found out someone pretended to bake them but not if they were honest about buying them from a bakery. hell, I'm no cook myself! I'm too busy shopping for inflatable sex reindeer to cook.


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