Project X

So what is Project X? Can't tell you. You would have to apply for security clearance. And by "apply for security clearance" I mean "send me $100 cash". Cause that is how I roll. I do not need your fingerprints, your social security number, your drivers license number, your photograph, or any of that stuff.

If my good buddy Ben Franklin will vouch for you - then you are good to go in my book.

By the way, speaking of my good friend Ben Franklin - did you know he was a nudist? Yup. That is right. Franklin was so sure that fresh air was important for good health that he took a daily “air bath”. He wrote to the French physician, Jacques Barbeu-Dubourg, describing it thus: “I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.”

He would also hang out near the window - so as to get the full health benefits of the fresh air. While bare ass naked.

How about that for a mental picture? This guy, taking an "air bath". While standing by the open window, just hanging out all over the place.

Now if I lived back then, I would have beat the artist who painted that picture with a stick. I mean, if I were going to pay an artist to make a portrait of me, I would say "dude - remove about 100 pounds from that painting or I shall kick you in the nut sack".

Would you pay for a painting of yourself that made you look THAT FAT?

But anyway - back to that mental image! Maybe there was something to the air bath thing. He did live to age 84 - back in an age when making it to 50 meant you were an old fart.

Anyhow - Project X. What is it. I am secretly working for the US Navy on a plan to make a warship invisible to submarines. Using Einstein's Unified Field Theory it is possible to bend light, and therefore make a large ship invisible.

OH WAIT! That is not Project X. That is the Philadelphia Experiment. Never mind. I just made that all up. I blame the electromagnetic fog I was exposed to during the experiment.

Project X is actually a catch all massive multi-front project. This way if one part leaks out, the public thinks they know everything. HA! But you don't! You only know of Project X Section A Sub-Section D. See how that works?

One part of Project X involves a whole new Iguana Music playlist. It is going along - slowly. Finding complete works is proving to be an issue.

Another part of Project X involves this weekend, and possibly the boat.

The rest is classified. You will have to get my good buddy Ben Franklin to vouch for you.