Unless You Are The Late Great Rodney Dangerfield, Old People Should Not Make Jokes

Poor John McCain. He really wants to be the Big Cheese, but it will just never happen for the man. It could have happened, but the drunken frat boy stole his chance. You see, in 2000 the Bush attack machine buried the old man. War experience? We did not need that! So what if you were shot down over Vietnam and spent time as a POW. That shit does not matter anyway. Service to the nation? HA! While you were wasting your time serving the nation for the pittance the military pays, REAL Americans were off cutting deals to make real money. And getting wicked drunk.

Did you not get it old man? You were written off in 2000. You should have learned, but you did not. Like a good loyal suck-up, you thought that your chance would come. Well, sorry to tell you this but it is not.

But McCain may be starting to understand this. I think he is loosing it. What the hell does he think Americans want? Take his latest attempt at a "joke". Talking about that Beach Boys song "Bomb Iran".

Wow. That is funny? Apparently is funny. So damn funny I forgot to laugh! Did he really think that the "joke" would help his campaign? With majority opinion turning against the mess in Iraq, and the vast majority against starting shit with Iran while still stuck in Iraq - who did he think this joke would appeal to? The crazy 10% that watched too many John Wayne movies and think that war is as easy as getting your trusty lever action rifle and single handedly taking on 10,000 Indians?

By the way McCain, the song is not "Bomb Iran", it is "Barbara Ann". It is today's featured Iguana Music.

What happened to you? Do you have a blockage in the artery feeding your brain with blood? At the very least, you should hire better joke writers. I could write better jokes. Of course I would require a joke writing office in Amsterdam, with a satellite office in Antwerp or Brussels. You know, Belgium for the beer and Amsterdam for the.....uhhhh....coffee! Yea thats it. The coffee. And maybe the space cake. I hear that stuff goes well with coffee. I could come up with far better jokes than jokes about bombing another Country.

Like Kim Jong Illin for example. The rapping dictator of North Korea. You know, like in that ancient Run DMC song. Not my best material, but better than the old and stale "Bomb Iran" joke. I remember that joke from the first Gulf War, only it was "bomb Iraq". You remember! Bomb Iraq....kick Hussein's ass....and so on. Recycling jokes over 10 years old? What's next McCain? Maybe you can get a big wooden mallet, call it the "Sledge-O-Matic" and mash up fruits and stuff. That has never been done before.

In other news - I am so fucking tired of hearing about "violence on TV" being a "problem". Get real people! I just finished watching some cartoons from the 1930s, and the whole cartoon revolved around violence. Every episode ends with some guy in a spiffy sailor suit and with forearm tumors, a speech impediment, a squinty eye (can anyone say STROKE) and smoking a pipe beating the shit out of some other guy. Babies are given shotguns to amuse them so they stop crying.

And lets not even talk about the TV westerns from the 50s. Lets recap a typical episode. Some white guy in a white hat shoots a bunch of Indians, and maybe some other white guy wearing a black hat. There is no blood, but a whole lot of rootin tootin gun shootin. That is violent I suppose.

So how exactly is TV more violent today? Just because it is in color and more realistic? The bottom line is the same. Beating up people is fun, the good guy never gets shot, and so on.