I Am Number 1, International Press

Loyal readers already know that if you Google "uncle festers meth recipe" a link to my lazyiguana.org site comes up as number 1, and that if you search Google Images for "Bush bill of rights" I also come up as number 1.

But did you know that if you Google "hippies scabies" I come up as number 1 as well? I did not until yesterday. But now I know. Same for "mystery truck noise", "Kendall Toyota hell", and "Aquasino bullshit".

I wonder how many other ways I come up as number 1 on Google? Probably many ways. But I am too lazy to check.

And now....for the internet saga of Bird Road Rudy, AKA "King Bird Road".

What's that? You never heard of Bird Road Rudy? What rock are you living under? He is a legend in Westchester, the hood I happen to live in.

I live closer to Miller Drive, which is also called SW 56 ST. Bird Road is SW 40 St. Bird Road Rudy's parents lived down the street from where I lived, across SW 48st and closer to Bird Road - where is apparently where he got his gangster name from. He was a member of the Bird Road Boys.

Anyhow King Bird Road made a You Tube video and posted it. I know you have heard of this because it made INTERNATIONAL NEWS. Here is a link from Singapore, and here is a link from New Zealand. Not to mention the story was on all the national news networks, as well as many local news outlets. It was huge news in Miami, with all the local papers and TV stations picking it up.

And as it turns out, I know Bird Road Rudy. Way way back in the day, he went to the same Elementary school I went to. He is a few years younger, but as it would have it he was close to the same age as my younger brother - who was in the same class with Rudy and shit.

And because I rule....and I KNOW that many of my Miami readers want to see the You Tube video that started all this international attention - but do not know what to do because the video was removed from You Tube. But I have it. So here, a Lazy Iguana exclusive! When I say I have spies and operatives worldwide - I mean it.

And now for a little translation! 305 is the telephone area code for Miami. So is 786. But if you have a 786 number you suck. REAL Miami residents are all 305. Bird Road Rudy is the guy on the left with the white shirt. The other guy is Chuckles The Clown - AKA Tony Logan.

King Bird Road the gang leader was arrested the same day the local paper picked up the story. Logan was arrested the next day. Rudy is charges with "felon in possession of a firearm" and Chuckles The Clown is charged with "providing firearms to a known felon". Both are in federal custody. Rudy is looking at up to 15 years.

It seems he broke the major rule. HE TALKED TO THE POLICE when he was busted. He had to know that the heat was on when the paper picked up the story. The video was put up weeks before the paper picked it up, and the cops were not doing anything. But once the media picked it up - the cops HAD TO do something. So a multi agency force composed of local cops, gang unit cops, State cops, and federal cops (ICE and BATF) were rounded up and they did just what Rudy said to do. They went and got him.

Now this is where he probably screwed up. He admitted to having the guns, admitted that the guns were real, and that he had handled guns many times. Chuckles said similar things.

OOPS! With just the video as evidence, who knows if those were real guns? Not me. They look real, but then again so do plastic air soft guns. Just paint the orange plastic tip black. The video is of poor quality too.

But if he talked, he is done. I thought all people with a history of run ins with the police know that you do not talk to the po-po. Oh well.

But the saga gets better! Now a PIMP has been arrested in connection to the case. When Bird Road Rudy was arrested, cops found some computers with porn. WOW! Computers with porn! That never happens. But this was home made porn. And it involved minors. I do not know what kind of minors, as I do not exactly consider a 17 year old who has a fake ID and works as a stripper a "minor" - but the law is the law! And the police did find a 17 year old chick who said she was a ho and that Gonzalez was her pimp and all. So he is in jail now too.

It just keeps getting bigger and bigger. My little area of the world is now in the international press. Amazing. Simply amazing.

It is not like the Bird Road Boys were even a major street gang or anything. It was a small gang that apparently got its money from pimping strippers and making internet porn videos. International news?? Come on! It must be a REALLY SLOW news day worldwide.

And all this because of one video posted to You Tube.