Ask The Iguana

Welcome to the first installment of "Ask The Iguana". Today's question is a two part question from Dusty and Ba Doozie.

Ba Doozie asked "Why are bars so dark? I could never figure that out, these days, the new micro brewery's etc are light and bright and full of sprite"

Excellent question! A good bar will be dark because when you are drinking, light hurts your eyes. You want there to be enough light to see where you are walking, but not any more than that. As you drink more, your eyes adjust to the darkness. So if the bar is too dark for you, then you have not drank enough. If a place is set up for drinking, it will be dark. The lights will be dim. This is just how it is. Sometimes the bartenders even have small flashlights with them. Sometimes I bring a small flashlight so I can see what the hell my tab is. But I like these places. The dim lights give the place a laid back sort of feeling. You know, what is the hurry to leave? Stay for another beer! It is so bright outside, and nice and cool and dark in here!

But dark bars have their own dangers. You need to be VERY VERY careful who you hook up with. Really extra super careful. Cause the dim lights can really mess you up. What looks like a not so bad idea may turn into a VERY bad idea in brighter light. So be careful.

Now for Dusty's question! "Who drinks in the damn dark? Nothing like tripping over shit when your drunk".

Well I drink in the dark. Not total darkness, but like I said before low ambient light is much more pleasing to a drinker than bright light. The soft dim light puts you in the right drinking mood. And when the lights go up you know that means "time to leave". How do you know it is time to leave if the lights are bright all the time? You don't. Drinkers take their cues by the brightness of a place.

The place has enough light so you do not trip over stuff. And you can even read the menu! There is just enough light for that. But no more. It is a truly great place.

If you have a question for The Iguana, put it in a comment. If I like the question and I have nothing else to post about - your question may be featured next!

And now I will leave you with this wacky story. You have to admire the commies. Really. They are trying to tap into the western tourist market. There is a lot of money there! And they try so hard. They get a gold star for trying. But they just can not get it right.

Case and point - China's newest "tourist attraction". The world's largest.......public bathroom! Yes you read that right. China wants to create a "toilet culture" where people can listen to music and watch TV while they piss on something. The giant toilet, with over 1,000 stalls, is located in an area that sees a lot of foreigners. Officials claim people will be "very, very happy" after using the toilet. There are over 1,000 stalls on three floors. Some are even in an open air area.

Here are three of the over 1,000 pissers. I do not think the Pope is going to be using them anytime soon. Is that a Virgin Mary pisser? Those wacky Chinese! The toilets under a roof are even better. They are everywhere. Along the stairs. Along the walls. All over the place.

And yes, there is a ladies room too.

The Chinese plan to build a supermarket nearby that will sell toilet related items. Toilet souvenirs? Are they serious?

To the Chinese Officials I say this. You guys have the right idea. Tourist like to go to the "world's largest __________". But you guys need to work more on the concept. Next time build the World's largest roller coaster. Or the world's largest wall. WAIT! You already have that.

Nobody really wants to go all the way to China just to piss in the world's largest public bathroom.

New Iguana Music, almost as bad as some of the toilets in China.