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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Too Many Chiefs, Not Enough Indians.

Going back to work was not too bad today. Really. After about 10 minutes, I was back to my usual speed, which is just fast enough to not get canned.

Actually, that is not true. I put forth my best effort to do the best job that I can. That is all you can really expect from people. I hate it when some dumb ass manager says "give 110%". It is almost like they went to the special management school, and still failed math.

YOU CAN NOT GIVE MORE THAN 100%! If you can not come up with something more intelligent to say than pure dribble, just keep your mouth shut. It is better for me to think you are an idiot than it is to open your mouth and prove it.

At my first "real job", a bunch of managers and supervisors would use meaningless catch phrases lile "give 110%" or "do your best, then go further". While this might have worked in the military (and I do not see how it could, even in the Army 2+2=4), it did not work at all in the workplace. It did not motivate me to do anything, other than assume that my boss won a gold medal in the Special Olympics at some point in time. Oh, and it motivated me to seek some other job.

But all this is not my main point today. I wanted to vent about another of life's useless inventions, the committee.

I am in a radio club which meets the first Monday of every month. This club puts on a rather large trade show of sorts once a year. The budget for the event is actually fairly large. Things are sort of on track, but not really. It seems like this is fairly normal.

The problem is that nobody can fart without a committee vote. Not even a little squeaker fart. And there are key people that MUST be present for any business to be conducted.

My job in the club is to keep track of the minutes. A whole lot of old business was discussed, as was a whole lot of new business. But was ANYTHING accomplished? Not really.

It amazes me that large businesses can accomplish anything. Managers LOVE committees. When you are on one, you can always hide from work, or simply vote to put things off. When nothing is done, just pick someone or something to blame everything on. The committee can vote that the pine tree on the corner is to blame for everything - and that is it! It is the pine tree's fault! Or the rock! Blame the rock! Or better yet, and this takes a committee full of experienced master ninjas - blame another committee! Chances are that other committee will never get around to voting to bounce the blame back to you.

I have seen the same problem over and over and over. Everyone wants to be a chief, nobody wants to be an indian. As for me, I am electricity. I seek the shortest path to ground with the least resistance. Being a chief is all well and good, but there is also comfort in being an indian. First off, if you loose a battle it is not your fault! You were just doing what Chief 110% told you to do!

But that is just me. And in case you are wondering, the answer is yes. I will gladly do what the boss says, even if I know that by doing so disaster is bound to take place. I just cover my tracks and make it clear I am following orders, like a good team player. After all, what if I am wrong and by not doing what the boss says things turn out bad? There is a reason why the boss is the boss and you are not! In theory anyway.

Besides, someone has to actually do the job. Imagine how the city would smell if it was left up to managers to collect the trash.


Blogger GodlessMom said...

Not even a little squeaker fart? :)

I worked for Best Buy for a few months. It was everything you have described and more.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Post about your time with Worst Buy! Get it all out.

Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Meetings and committees are two of the things that I do not miss about working. NOT AT ALL.

By the time I retired, I was in "senior management" in my job with the Commonwealth of PA. All the heck that meant was MORE meaningless meetings, and being assigned to MORE stupid committees. Add to that the fact that I was an accountant, and you will wonder how on earth I stayed awake during meetings on that most interesting of all subjects: accounting. I still marvel at my staying awake myself. Maybe it was all the snoring going on around me that kept me awake. It was all just bulls**t. Just piled higher and deeper.

Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Fats are overrated!

Micro-management seems to have become the law of the land!

Blogger AP3 said...

Aren't you glad you'll be starting a NEW job? The 110% thing is really irritating.

Blogger Saur♥Kraut said...

it did not work at all in the workplace. It did not motivate me to do anything, other than assume that my boss won a gold medal in the Special Olympics at some point in time.

*LOL* So true!!! Been there/thought that.


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