Cooking With Lazy Iguana

This is a great story.

Today I decide to go to the supermarket to buy some food. I get there only to find that ALL the dairy products are pretty much gone, along with all the meat. There was no yogurt, no butter, no cheese, no frozen foods, very little produce, and so on. They had to throw it all out because of the lack of power thing. The supermarket must have stank something terrible when they opened it up.
My master plan was to buy some iguana food for Spaz, and some hamburger helper for me. But there is no hamburger. So I had to settle for tuna helper.

Spaz will be eating bananas, yellow squash, and zuchini tomorrow. There were no collard greens.

Anyway, I score a 1/2 gallon of milk (the ONLY dairy product on the shelf) and a couple of boxes of tuna helper. I get home and start to read the directions. I had a stick of butter, so no problem there. I just bought milk, no problem there. I have 4 cans of tuna, so that is under control. And I have water. I have everything for a feast of epic proportions.

But then I get lazy. Apparently, you have to boil some stuff , transfer it to another container, then bake it. That means getting two pots dirty. This is NOT acceptible.

So I find a nice Pyrex dish that will hold all the slop. Then I place the Pyrex dish on the stove top, and add the milk and butter. Then I turn in the heat. I figure I will just cook the slop on the stovetop, then toss the whole mess into the oven.

Next I open up two cans o tuna (twice the amount called for) and add the water. Then I add the sauce mix. Then I go to stir all the mess.

The dish then EXPLODES. Instantly. No ticking or anything. Just shards of Pyrex, and a huge mess on the stove. The milk burns onto the hot smoothtop eye, and the cats all come running because they can smell tuna frying.

2 cups of milk, plus 1.5 cups of water, 2 cans o tuna, 3 tablespoons of butter, and a packet o cheese sauce. All over the place. Dripping and running and splashed on the friggin wall. Meanwhile, I am standing there with a fork trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

On the positive side, my gin and tonic survived. No icky tuna helper got into it.

So now I am out one tuna helper kit, 1/2 of my cans o tuna, one pyrex BAKING dish (apparently you can not place it on the stovetop), and most of my butter.

Good thing I bought two boxes o tuna helper! Time to start over.