The Lunatic Is On The Grass.

Just in case you missed the President's last press conference - I will repost some of it here, along with expert commentary by me. I am an expert commentator. So I will comment. Ill let you know when I am commenting.

First some background. This is an exchange from The President and a little old lady in the Washington Press Corps. The little old lady's name seems to be Helen. At least that is what the President calls her. For all we know her name is actually "Betty" or maybe even Joanne".

LITTLE OLD LADY: I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet -- your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth -- what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil -- quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

THE PRESIDENT: I think your premise -- in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist -- is that -- I didn't want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect --

LAZY IGUANA: BZZZZZZZZZ! If Bush did not want this war, who did? The French? Then there is the neo-consertive think tank plan dating from the late 90's to invade Iraq. The members of this think tank? Jeb bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, etc. And the little old lady is correct - every single original reason for the war turned out to be bullshit. All of it. Not just one thing, not lust 10% - ALL OF IT was total bullshit. The whole "spreading democracy" thing only came up after there were no weapons of mass destruction found.

LITTLE OLD LADY: Everything --

THE PRESIDENT: Hold on for a second, please.

LITTLE OLD LADY -- everything I've heard --

THE PRESIDENT: Excuse me, excuse me. No President wants war. Everything you may have heard is that, but it's just simply not true. My attitude about the defense of this country changed on September the 11th. We -- when we got attacked, I vowed then and there to use every asset at my disposal to protect the American people. Our foreign policy changed on that day, Helen. You know, we used to think we were secure because of oceans and previous diplomacy. But we realized on September the 11th, 2001, that killers could destroy innocent life. And I'm never going to forget it. And I'm never going to forget the vow I made to the American people that we will do everything in our power to protect our people.

Part of that meant to make sure that we didn't allow people to provide safe haven to an enemy. And that's why I went into Iraq -- hold on for a second

LAZY IGUANA: Huh? Here we go again. Using September 11 as a hall pass to leave class and smoke weed in the bathroom. Whenever confronted with a question you can not answer, invoke September 11.

LITTLE OLD LADY: They didn't do anything to you, or to our country.

THE PRESIDENT: Look -- excuse me for a second, please. Excuse me for a second. They did. The Taliban provided safe haven for al Qaeda. That's where al Qaeda trained --

LITTLE OLD LADY: I'm talking about Iraq --

THE PRESIDENT: Helen, excuse me. That's where -- Afghanistan provided safe haven for al Qaeda. That's where they trained. That's where they plotted. That's where they planned the attacks that killed thousands of innocent Americans.

I also saw a threat in Iraq. I was hoping to solve this problem diplomatically. That's why I went to the Security Council; that's why it was important to pass 1441, which was unanimously passed. And the world said, disarm, disclose, or face serious consequences --

LAZY IGUANA: Fact - there was NO TALIBAN in Iraq. Saddam was a dick, but he was a secular dick in a fundamentilist region of the world. The Taliban were Quran Thumpers. In Iraq, there were women doctors (remember Anthrax Jane from the Iraq Most Wanted cards?). Women were educated in universities. Unlike in Saudi Arabia, a man did not have to escort a woman down the street. Osama being a Quran Thumper, and Saddam being a Brooks Brothers suit wearing mostly secular guy would not exactly be drinking buddies. There were NO TRAINING centers in Iraq. None. And the 1441 resolutuion was only passed by the UN after Powell made his famous case to them. A case which he later regtetted having made. All of it was discredited. Remember, the question from the little old lady was NOT about Afganistan, but about Iraq. But Bush answered the question as if she asked about Afganistan.

LITTLE OLD LADY: -- go to war --

THE PRESIDENT: -- and therefore, we worked with the world, we worked to make sure that Saddam Hussein heard the message of the world. And when he chose to deny inspectors, when he chose not to disclose, then I had the difficult decision to make to remove him. And we did, and the world is safer for it.

LAZY IGUANA: We worked with the world? Remember "you are with us, or against us"? Does that sound like "working with the world"? To me it sounds more like "Agree with me OR ELSE!". If I remember correctly, the rest of the world was saying "your evidence and our evidence are at odds. Lets hold off any military action for just a little while longer and send in new inspectors". Bush said "No, the USA does not want that. We are going to war and there is not anything you can do about it - so be with us or against us". Then a bunch of idiots started ordering "freedom fries" at McDonalds. Bush insisted that the inspectors, even the USA inspectors, were all wrong and that there were banned weapons in Iraq. He claimed Saddam was withholding evidence because he would not "disclose his weapons" - weapons which by the way he did not have.

So there we go. And by the way Mr. President, every reason you gave in public for the war in Iraq turned out to be wrong. So was there another reason that made you press so hard for war, or were you just wrong? And if you were just wrong about the WMDs - why did those evil American hating French seem to know there were no WMDs?

And Mr. President, my question has nothing to do with September 11, the taliban, or Afganistan. I am asking about the war in Iraq based on the "WMD stockpiles" Saddam was supposed to have. So please, no apple pie and "The Battle Hymn Of The Republic" playing softly in the background.