FLIBS

Well the boat show was pretty cool. I went to the "big ass boats" section of the show. And there were some BIG ASS BOATS!

There were some yachts for sale that would qualify as a cruise ship. Shit that was at least 150 - 200 feet in length. Boats that would need at least 18 feet of water JUST TO FLOAT!

The "small" boats were over 30 feet. At least in this section of the show. It was something else. I do not usually go to the big ass boats section.

Seeing as how I do not have a few million laying around collecting dust.

But I did get something. I am always discovering things the boat is missing. Like for example, this thing. It is the Cobra MR F300 BT. What is it? Glad you asked. It is a totally waterproof bluetooth enabled device. You pair it to your phone, and then you can send and receive phone calls without taking out your cell. So the cell phone remains safe and happy somewhere that is protected from the elements. Like for example the waterproof pelican box. When someone calls, I can use the microphone thing to answer it. And if it gets wet? No big deal.

Now this is cool. I guess. I tested it out and it works. Not too well in VOX mode but it works well if you use it like a microphone. Used like a radio mic, you can not talk and hear at the same time. But oh well.

The phone can now remain in the electronics box, safe and dry, connected to a cigarstte plug charger - and the bluetooth mic goes somewhere on the helm, waiting for a call.

And if I do not want to take a call - just turn the darn thing off. Or press the red phone botton and send it to voice mail.

I got a "boat show price" on the thing, which was about $30 off list price. Not bad.

I took a few photos at the show before the camera battery croaked - they will be up tomorrow.

Halloween

First, for your viewing pleasure - A SPOOKY SHORT FILM!!!!!



And I thought Fred the orange cat was mean because he will bite the crap out of you if you annoy him. And how to you annoy Fred? Try to move is fat ass. If he plops down next to you then fine. But if you try to hold him, or move him, or touch his paws, tail, or belly - you will probably get bit.

Up next - Lazy Iguana's Halloween Safety Tips!!!

Tip 1 - spring for some GOOD CANDY. It is OK to have a few bags of the cheaper stuff - but you need some premium candy to spice things up.

Tip 2 - make up goody bags. Fill the bags with an assortment of stuff. MAKE SURE that at least one or two premium treats are in each bag.

The bags make it easy for the potential problems to remember where the candy came from.

For you see, this year Halloween falls on a Friday. And there is no school Saturday. So handing out crap candy is just asking - no PLEADING - for your place to get toilet papered. Or egged. Or whatever.

The way I look at Halloween is that is a holiday celebrating extortion. Give me good candy - or else I pull a prank on you. A prank that involves your front yard and a bunch of toilet paper. Or your car gas tank and a bag of sugar. Or a dozen raw eggs and your front door. Or a bag of dog poop set on fire and left on your porch.

By the way - if you open the door and see a bag on fire - DO NOT STOMP IT OUT!!! It is a trap. As demonstrated in this training film.



Tip 3 - as soon as Halloween is "over", throw out the pumpkin. Leaving a carved pumpkin on your door steep is an open invitation for someone to smash it. Or blow it up with fireworks.

Lets see - what else. I think I covered everything. I got the spooky video covered. I got the Halloween tips covered. Yup. Got it all.

Ill be going to the FLIBS today. The Ft Lauderdale International Boat Show. It looks like Ill go to the big boats area, which is on the water at a marina. I have never gone to the big boats area before. So it will be cool. I guess.

I printed out my ticket so I will not have to stand in line, like a jackass, when I get there. I think I have a free parking hookup taken care of.

There will be photos.

Good News

Only one more week of this election stuff left to go. This is good news indeed.

Of course, do not expect the stuff to go away. There will be no more commercials, but there will be a few days of "analysis". State by State, County by County, precinct by precinct, down to the smallest possible unit analysis.

Before computers and crap this was probably not possible. But it is now. Technology - she be a harsh mistress. Like the sea. Only less salty. And fewer sharks.

The FLIBS is in town this weekend. And what the hell is the FLIBS?

Ft. Lauderdale International Boat Show.

I think I have managed to wrangle some free FLIBS tickets. Or should I say ticket. So it looks like Ill go. Why not. I like to look at stuff. I think the plan is to go to the big ass boat section and look at the big ass boats.

Somewhere there is a place to score booze. There always is. The idea being if you get people drunk, they are more likely to buy a boat.

And in this economy, I would be grabbing people that walk by, strapping them down to the floor of one of the boats at my display, then funneling rum down their throat. I would have boxes of kittens and puppies and infants - which I would threaten to drown if nobody bought something.

Desperate times call for desperate measures after all.

But the truth is the very large boat market is not really suffering the same as the small boat market. See people in the market for a $10m yacht do not really give a shit about the economy. They are going to drop $10 million on a boat. They are insulated from the shit storm. Somewhat.

80% of the world's big yachts are sold at the Ft. Lauderdale show. Last year sales WERE down. I do not know by how much.

I did hear that a lot of the smaller boat sales fell through. This happens every show. People get all want-y and shit. Then they see a boat that they can not really afford, and start the process of buying. Then when they can not secure financing the deal just dies. Or they just back out. They get home, get sober, and back out.

But last year A LOT of deals died. And credit was still somewhat easy to get. I expect new boat sales in the under 40 feet class to be dismal.

But Ill go.

The truth is I like the convention center venue the best. This is where the accessories and smaller boats are. Things like electronics, gizmos, thingies, crap, doohickeys, demos, and so on. I like to look at that stuff.

Ill do that at the Miami show.