Weekend Wrap-Up

The 4th went over well. I got out on the water and that usually results in a good time.

The weather did get a little snotty in the late afternoon / early evening. I got to play an exciting game of "outrun the storm". The rules are simple - do not get rained on. If you get rained on then you lost.


Now complicating the game was the SLOW SPEED zone I was in. And not to mention the hundreds of other boats anchored up waiting for the fireworks show to start. And the cop boats there to make sure I did not violate the slow speed zone.

For a while, I was on the edge of the storm. At one point the heavy rain was about 50 yards away. But then I got out of the slow zone area and could haul ass. But I won the game. I did not get rained on and I did not get hit by lightning.

But I do need one more piece of equipment. GOGGLES! I happen to have some, I just did not bring them. But I am going to put them on the boat and keep them there. They have a clear lens, and I have another lens on the way that is dark. Why do I need these?

Imagine that it is sprinkling and you are playing "outrun the storm". So you are running at 25 mph, with the drizzle hitting your face. But it is dark so you can not wear sunglasses for protection! That sucks. Actually it stings.

Speaking of stings, it seems I got stung by a bee. Or some sort of fuzzy bug. It was at night, AFTER the fireworks, and away from land. I got stung, the bee got mushed. I think I won that battle.

Some out of town people will be here Monday, so chances are good the boat will get wet again Tuesday. They want to go to the beach Monday, after an all night drive from Ohio to get here. I think they are crazy. But whatever. If they want the beach then they will get the beach. I just do not know which beach yet. Probably South Beach. That is the famous one. But I HATE South Beach. I hate parking at the beach. I hate the traffic at the beach. So it all depends. If the people just want sun and water, then Ill go to Key Biscayne. I hate that place a lot less.

And what about Sunday? Well Ill be floating. Again. Why not. Ill be out doing my auxiliary weekend warrior thing. Cruising around looking for things. Not as much fun as a party booze cruise, but the government pays for my gas, and I get more time at the wheel to practice boat handling stuff. It all works out.

And now...photos of the last mission, taken at Monument Island. You can see the monument in some of the photos. You can also see the brooding storm clouds.......

Pre Thanksgiving Post

Welcome to my annual (not really - I think this is the first in the series) Pre-Thanksgiving post.

This year I am thankful for Publix. The deli is going to prepare the food this year. My parents had to bail out to Arizona and they just got back today. So nobody has shopped for anything.

So I said "Don't worry - Ill handle dinner this year". I have a turkey fry kit and a smoker grill and crap, so I could cook a turkey. And really - it is not that hard to bake one. You stick it in the oven, set the temperature, set the timer, then plop down in a chair on the porch and drink beer. Really hard there.

But what the crap. For $40 Publix will cook a 9 - 12 pound turkey, hook me up with some dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and whatever else I get for $40. What a deal huh?

All I have to do is remember to make it by the Public before it closes and pick up the food. And while I am there I might be out of beer so I will need more of that.

You all may remember Special Ed, the stocking manager at Publix. Well he must read my blog - but he never comments because....well he is special. Anyway I think he reads this blog because there is a bountiful supply of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in the beer isle. Good job Special Ed! You get a gold star for this week. You can stick it on your helmet.

So I got a few things going on that are good. I got the food hookup, and there is plenty of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale at the store. That is a start.

But there are some other things that SHOULD be done - and they are not. This is not really that good. It seems that Special Ed's friend, Special Eddie, was put in charge of something somewhere. Can't really say much more than this - but those on the inside will instantly understand from the photo to the left. It is almost like the photo above - but there are some very important and significant differences. If you get it you get it, if you don't then you don't. Cant do much more than that. Special Eddie does not get a gold star for his helmet.

Oh yea - this is important. I UPDATED THE IGUANA MUSIC! Got it? Good. Cause I did. I updated the Iguana Music and this is a good thing if you like Devo, Aerosmith, Jacks Mannequin, Alanis, early Pink Floyd (with Syd Barrett), and.....TOTO! If you do not like any of the stuff I just listed - then you will not care. In fact, you may be less likely to check out the Iguana Music.

What the hell is Toto doing on the list???? I do not even know. Must be magic. Evil dark magic. I must have lost my tail - evolving up from little snails. I say its all just wind in sails. Are we not men? We are Devo! Are we not men? D E V O.

I am a pinhead now.

If you don't get it - you really need to queue up some Iguana Music and keep listening till you do.

And lastly, I have not informed anyone that I so plan to bail out on the family Thanksgiving dinner. I have alternate plans. Other places to go. Other things to do. I have a plan for the bail out however. Dinner with the family will be early because old people have to eat while the sun is still up. So I will have a light - very light - lunch with the family. And then bail out. While nobody is looking. I keep a life size full color cardboard cutout of myself in the truck for just these types of occasions. Nobody will notice.

I got invited to another dinner somewhere else. At a more reasonable time. And by "more reasonable" I mean not lunch time. All home cooked, and not from the Publix deli. Oh yea, I almost forgot the most important thing here - chicks will be at the other dinner somewhere else. I may have forgot to mention that.

Ill make more moves than Allied Van Lines. If you do not get that, you need to listen to "I Want To Be A Lifeguard". It is the first song in the Iguana Music list. I just like using lines from Blotto songs every now and then.

No really I won't. Cause that is not how I roll. I learned long ago that making a total ass out of yourself is not very helpful. I will not be like Allied Van Lines at all. I will not make an ass out of myself - even if that is my specialty.

The timing is perfect. It is Shark Valley weather again. Nice and cool. Shark Valley is a cool bike ride. Only 15 miles - so not that long. Taking it easy, anyone can ride it in 2 - 3 hours. My lazy ass has done the entire loop in about 1 hour riding time - but I did stop to check out the overlook. And then there is the main part of Everglades National Park - with a lot more areas for bike riding and even some cool kayak trails. With extra alligators. And maybe even crocodiles!