Pre Thanksgiving Post

Welcome to my annual (not really - I think this is the first in the series) Pre-Thanksgiving post.

This year I am thankful for Publix. The deli is going to prepare the food this year. My parents had to bail out to Arizona and they just got back today. So nobody has shopped for anything.

So I said "Don't worry - Ill handle dinner this year". I have a turkey fry kit and a smoker grill and crap, so I could cook a turkey. And really - it is not that hard to bake one. You stick it in the oven, set the temperature, set the timer, then plop down in a chair on the porch and drink beer. Really hard there.

But what the crap. For $40 Publix will cook a 9 - 12 pound turkey, hook me up with some dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, and whatever else I get for $40. What a deal huh?

All I have to do is remember to make it by the Public before it closes and pick up the food. And while I am there I might be out of beer so I will need more of that.

You all may remember Special Ed, the stocking manager at Publix. Well he must read my blog - but he never comments because....well he is special. Anyway I think he reads this blog because there is a bountiful supply of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale in the beer isle. Good job Special Ed! You get a gold star for this week. You can stick it on your helmet.

So I got a few things going on that are good. I got the food hookup, and there is plenty of Sierra Nevada Pale Ale at the store. That is a start.

But there are some other things that SHOULD be done - and they are not. This is not really that good. It seems that Special Ed's friend, Special Eddie, was put in charge of something somewhere. Can't really say much more than this - but those on the inside will instantly understand from the photo to the left. It is almost like the photo above - but there are some very important and significant differences. If you get it you get it, if you don't then you don't. Cant do much more than that. Special Eddie does not get a gold star for his helmet.

Oh yea - this is important. I UPDATED THE IGUANA MUSIC! Got it? Good. Cause I did. I updated the Iguana Music and this is a good thing if you like Devo, Aerosmith, Jacks Mannequin, Alanis, early Pink Floyd (with Syd Barrett), and.....TOTO! If you do not like any of the stuff I just listed - then you will not care. In fact, you may be less likely to check out the Iguana Music.

What the hell is Toto doing on the list???? I do not even know. Must be magic. Evil dark magic. I must have lost my tail - evolving up from little snails. I say its all just wind in sails. Are we not men? We are Devo! Are we not men? D E V O.

I am a pinhead now.

If you don't get it - you really need to queue up some Iguana Music and keep listening till you do.

And lastly, I have not informed anyone that I so plan to bail out on the family Thanksgiving dinner. I have alternate plans. Other places to go. Other things to do. I have a plan for the bail out however. Dinner with the family will be early because old people have to eat while the sun is still up. So I will have a light - very light - lunch with the family. And then bail out. While nobody is looking. I keep a life size full color cardboard cutout of myself in the truck for just these types of occasions. Nobody will notice.

I got invited to another dinner somewhere else. At a more reasonable time. And by "more reasonable" I mean not lunch time. All home cooked, and not from the Publix deli. Oh yea, I almost forgot the most important thing here - chicks will be at the other dinner somewhere else. I may have forgot to mention that.

Ill make more moves than Allied Van Lines. If you do not get that, you need to listen to "I Want To Be A Lifeguard". It is the first song in the Iguana Music list. I just like using lines from Blotto songs every now and then.

No really I won't. Cause that is not how I roll. I learned long ago that making a total ass out of yourself is not very helpful. I will not be like Allied Van Lines at all. I will not make an ass out of myself - even if that is my specialty.

The timing is perfect. It is Shark Valley weather again. Nice and cool. Shark Valley is a cool bike ride. Only 15 miles - so not that long. Taking it easy, anyone can ride it in 2 - 3 hours. My lazy ass has done the entire loop in about 1 hour riding time - but I did stop to check out the overlook. And then there is the main part of Everglades National Park - with a lot more areas for bike riding and even some cool kayak trails. With extra alligators. And maybe even crocodiles!