On Sunburn

Some people seem to be concerned about sunburn on Columbus Day. And I can see why this could be a problem for some people. If you get drunk and nude and pass out in the sun for an hour or so it could get really ugly.

But there ARE some people with no tan lines. And for them it may not be as big of a problem. A little SPF 6 or 8 and they are good to do.

And then there are the rest of us. Those people with parts that have never seen the light of day. For people like that, there is not enough SPF in the world.

And what if those parts that never see the light of the sun get sunburn? That would be terrible. I got the top of my feet sunburned once and that was pretty bad. It hurt to wear shoes and walk. And then there was the cruise I took last summer where I decided that it was a good idea to hang out on the deck in the sun without a shirt or sunblock. I was in pain for a good 2 or 3 days after that.

So I can only imagine what would happen if I got other parts burned. Talk about hurting when you pee. And how would number 2 work? Probably not very well. And then there is the problem experienced when a hot chick walks by. That could REALLY hurt.

So I will be wearing extra pants, just to make sure. And Bullfrog Surfer Formula sunblock. I like that stuff. It is not all oily and greasy and does not stink like a pineapple or coconut or some other tropical fruit. Really good stuff.

And parts that have never seen the sun shall continue to not see the sun. I think this will be for the best. I think that it would be dreadful to get a first degree burn there. Or there. Or on that. Simply not going to happen.

Speaking of water, lets say you go swimming at he gym and some grouchy old lady gets in your way because she will not stay in the "walking in the pool" lane and gets into the "slow swimming" lane. Well maybe this will give you an idea.



If you see any brown sharks during Columbus Day , it is critical you keep them away from your boat hull. Or pull up the anchor and move somewhere else. Once you verify that it is NOT really a candy bar floating in the water. I call "NOT IT" for that task. So someone else has to verify that the brown sharks are in fact not really candy bars. NOT IT!

I hope this post lived up to everyone's expectations.

Everything Always Works Out In The End

WHAT THE HELL is up with the Iguana Music? Well in honor of the Miami International Boat Show this blog shall feature a different SEA SHANTY each day for the remainder of the show. Today's Sea Shanty is the ever popular "All For Me Grog". Tomorrows Sea Shanty shall be about a far off land. All the Sea Shanties are from the noble seafaring British - none are from the generally unruly Dutch. I could not find any Dutch sea songs you see. And even if I did find some, I do not speak dutch so how would I know it was a true Sea Shanty?

I may go to the show today. Why the hell not? Friday is a good boat show day. There will be less people than on the weekend. Plus I am in a boat show kind of mood. I need a boatswain's whistle. And maybe some other things. Also I like the boat show. There is lots of cool stuff to look at. Like MSD macerator pumps. I do not need one of these, my boat has a "let it all hang out overboard" type of marine sanitation device. If you gotta go, the ocean is your toilet. Beware the brown shark! They like to hang out on the surface of the water. TIP - ALWAYS take a leak off the LEEWARD side of the boat. Pissing off the windward side is a bad idea.

And I got some fairly good news, which I can not yet divulge. But the news is good. Or at least it is not bad. NAAAA it is good. Really. You have to just trust me here. I can not divulge it due to national security reasons however. Only when such information will no longer possibly compromise anything can I speak anymore of this matter.

But - as in the title, things have a way of working out in the end. Sometimes. Not always. Just enough times to make you ponder cosmic forces.