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Friday, February 16, 2007

Everything Always Works Out In The End

WHAT THE HELL is up with the Iguana Music? Well in honor of the Miami International Boat Show this blog shall feature a different SEA SHANTY each day for the remainder of the show. Today's Sea Shanty is the ever popular "All For Me Grog". Tomorrows Sea Shanty shall be about a far off land. All the Sea Shanties are from the noble seafaring British - none are from the generally unruly Dutch. I could not find any Dutch sea songs you see. And even if I did find some, I do not speak dutch so how would I know it was a true Sea Shanty?

I may go to the show today. Why the hell not? Friday is a good boat show day. There will be less people than on the weekend. Plus I am in a boat show kind of mood. I need a boatswain's whistle. And maybe some other things. Also I like the boat show. There is lots of cool stuff to look at. Like MSD macerator pumps. I do not need one of these, my boat has a "let it all hang out overboard" type of marine sanitation device. If you gotta go, the ocean is your toilet. Beware the brown shark! They like to hang out on the surface of the water. TIP - ALWAYS take a leak off the LEEWARD side of the boat. Pissing off the windward side is a bad idea.

And I got some fairly good news, which I can not yet divulge. But the news is good. Or at least it is not bad. NAAAA it is good. Really. You have to just trust me here. I can not divulge it due to national security reasons however. Only when such information will no longer possibly compromise anything can I speak anymore of this matter.

But - as in the title, things have a way of working out in the end. Sometimes. Not always. Just enough times to make you ponder cosmic forces.

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Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

The pumps have left the chicken dock, I repeat...the pumps have left the chicken dock.

Ships are great especially when you are 15 years of age and only one of four women on board as the vessel is taking the 7.5 hours crossing the Irish Sea with only 3,400 Irish Sailors aboard.

That's what I call a ship.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

That is what I call a "sausage fest".

How do you like the Sea Shanty? I drank too much grog to be able to tell if the song is cool or not.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that song makes me WANT to drink grog. what shall we do with the drunken sailor...early in the mornin!!

ok, things that work out in the end ALWAYS have to do with the space time continuim. things that don't work out have to do with the wormhole

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Things that do not work out get fat and lazy. NO WAY could they run/walk a mile and a half in less than 30 minutes.

Blogger UNO said...


Blogger Kristen said...

I thought you changed it so that the music wouldn't play without my permission!

You are one lucky bastard, because it's 2am and if I had my speakers hooked up instead of the headphones, the MIL beast would have been disturbed in her slumber.

Also, I'm not a Crilood, I'm a Blip.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Uno - sea shanties rule. They make the heaving of lines more fun. In a sick kind of way.

Kristen - I decided it would be more fun to share me sea shanties with the public! So the autoplay is turned back on.

Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, I've always loved sea shanties! So thanks!

All things do work for the big picture. Trouble is, humans are not even in the big picture.

I'm betting that you are going to get your job back. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

Blogger Meow said...

Love the sea shanties, such fun, makes me want to have a drink and dance a jig !!
Hope whatever it is works out for you. Looking forward to hearing about it !!
Take care, Meow

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

the song is way cool. but all seriousness aside, (did you get that?) pirates are cool now, johnny depp even says so. I think I'm even going to request a gold tooth implant at my next dentist appointment.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...


Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

When I say I have good news it means I got laid by a horny gymnist.

Tell us?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

TLP - sea shanties are cool. I have a small collection of them, and I am always looking for more. The secret news is pretty good, all things considered. It COULD be a lot worse - but it is not.

Meow - if you like todays shanty, you will LOVE the next song I have planned.

Emma - I was the one who turned Depp onto the whole sea shanty music thing. He may SAY pirates are cool, but when I showed him my collection of PIRATE movies he was in he got a little pissed. Something about "DUDE! I had to buy a Gulfstream 400 jet when I wanted the 550 because of people like you pirating movies!" So I downloaded his newest movie and then said "Yar, the sea she be a harsh mistress". I know my arcade is Satanic. The Devil made me include it here.

Caiman - the news is not THAT good. Horny hot gymnastic chicks are a whole separate level of goodness.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good news? Just remember the GIECO joke has been used so many time it is worn out. Oh look it just got used again.

Anonymous AnonPeopleSuck said...

Good news, just remember that spell check has been used so many times but you haven't worn it out. Oh, look at your idiocy.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good news, just remember that spell check had been used and no words where miss spelled in the post. The idiocy is the fact that you think a missing s constitutes a need for a flogging. This is the internet not a spelling or typing class. No one invited you to grade comments.

Good news, the beer is cold!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Yar - missing the S in a word be gettin you a lashing on my ship! HANG THE SCALLYWAG FROM THE YARD ARM!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

BTW - at least you anon people can do is make up a better fake name. Just saying.

Just select "other" and type whatever you want.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i wanna make up a fake name

Anonymous Iwannakickyouintheshinsanon said...

sea hags unite

Anonymous lackashackawhacka said...

every once in awhile you just have to say, get over here so i can kick you in the kneecaps

Anonymous mybatonwillwhackyou said...

have you ever seen the full moon rising?

Anonymous anonymousassclown said...

i've had diarrhea since easter

Anonymous mybuttitchesrealbad said...

someone? anyone?

Anonymous anonpeoplesuckandiguanasarentgeckos said...

Your Doobie Diaries aren't going as planned and your education has not afforded you the knowledge of the vast difference between an Iguana and a Gecko. Even still your grey matter challenges have allowed you to miss the fact that GEICO is spelled wrong. Be gone or this sea hag and my friend Lazy and I will make you walk the plank.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

wow, looks like some fun here!

Anonymous Caveman said...

At least the Gecko doesn't pick on the caveman.

Anonymous the lazy iguana said...


Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Dissing the noble gecko is an offense worthy of KEEL HAULING!

Let it be known that the Gecko is in command of the ship when the sun sets. Iguanas are more daytime critters.


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