No New Inductees

I noticed how nobody responded about the ancient and venerable order of the Knights Of Siam. One reader was already a member - but there are no new inductees.

So get out in your front yard and chant the mantra while your neighbors all watch. Concentrate on the meaning of the mantra. It will come to you when you reach the proper level of inner peace and harmony.

Now onto bizarre E-Bay auctions! Here is an auction for some ho's used diary. I do not know if it is true, but supposedly the guy discovered his girlfriend sucking on parts of his brother's body. Ill let you figure out what part. Use your imagination.

Anyhow he delivered all her stuff to his brother's home, where his brother's wife then discovered what was going on. But he kept her diary and is auctioning it off. If she wants it, she has to bid for it. Pretty slick - if it is true. The whole story could be BS, and he is getting at least $300 (current bid) for what amounts to a work of fiction.

Now if it were me, I would probably just upload whatever drunken nude photos I happen to have. If I had any. This is one reason why it is usually a bad idea to allow yourself to be photographed naked. Someone might get pissed off later and upload them - then email the web site address to everyone you work with.

Even better would be to just give the cheating hos diary to the ex-wife's divorce lawyer. The proof of a rather long period of cheating is in there.

If any of this is true. Who is stupid enough to cheat and then write about it in a diary? And who keeps diaries these days anyway? Paperless people! Blogger is free.

So being the skeptic, I question the authenticity of this E-Bay item.

The boat got extra super nasty the last time it was used. So I still have to get in it and scrub the deck with some heavy duty cleaner and a hand scrub brush. No big deal, there are only a few spots that need this to be done. A more pressing situation is the floor lockers. They are currently plumbed to dump into the bilge. I do not want this. I want them to empty overboard. The fittings are already there - I just need to reconnect them. But to do this I have to remove the locker hatches and then pull out the inserts. Then while I am in there I have to install the wash down pump. Happy happy joy joy.

The wash down pump HAS TO BE installed in time for Columbus Day. I can use it to squirt people. This is very important.

The Ancient And Venerable Order Of The Knights Of Siam

Time I let you all in on a secret. I am a member of the ancient and venerable order of The Knights Of Siam. And you too can join this order. But first you must meditate on the meaning of the order's mantra. So here it goes.

It helps if you get on your knees in front of the computer. For proper meditation effect, the screen should be displaying this blog. Now, raise both your hands up in the air. While you chant each phrase of the mantra, bend down so the palms of your hands touch the floor. Do this while you are in front of the computer and the screen is displaying this blog.

Now for the Order's meditation mantra.

O-WHAA.
TA-NA.
SIAM.

The O is long, the As are short except for the A in SIAM.

When you think you know what the mantra means, leave a comment and if you are correct you will be inducted into this ancient and venerable order. Start saying the chant out loud slowly at first, then if the meaning does not come to you say it a little faster. Remember to be on your knees with your hands up and bend over so your hands touch the ground after each part of the chant.

If that does not work, do it in your front yard. The fresh air and sunshine will help sharpen your concentration. Your neighbors silently watching you also helps you reach inner oneness so the meaning will become clear to you.

The day out on the water was great. There were a lot of boats out. The boat ramps were all busy. There were hundreds of boats hanging out at each hang out place. The sandbar by Stiltsville was packed, the sandbar at Sands Key was packed (as usual), and the anchorage by Elliot Key that is most famous for the floating Columbus Day party had a bunch of boats at it - but not as many as on Columbus Day.

By the way, Columbus Day is the last big party of the summer for the South Florida boating community. Labor Day is just a dry run for the big day. I hope to be out on Columbus Day (assuming there is no work to get stuck at) so I can tie up with some friends and watch the madness. If I go out for Columbus Day then I am going to want to camp overnight on the boat, and I will bring my kayak somehow so that I can get around in that. Once you are anchored and tied up to other boats, it is hard to move. But the kayak can get anywhere. I even have navigation lights for it so that I can use the kayak at night. The cops will bot be able to harass me because I will have the "proper" lights. I say "proper" because according to the rules that the USCG set forth a paddle craft, as well as "sit on top" day sailboats only need to carry a flashlight at night. When you see another boat, all you do is show that boat a white light or shine it at your sails. A single white light means "vessel at anchor, keep clear". Red and/or green lights means "vessel underway by sail" The green means you are looking at the starboard side of the boat and you are the "stand on" vessel. The red means you are looking at the port side and are the "give way" vessel. A power boat will have the red/green lights at the bow, AND a white light visible from 360 degrees.

Anyway with my alkaline battery powered navigation lights I will be harass proof.

This is Sands Key. There is a sandbar here. The water under my boat was only about 3 1/2 - 4 feet. It gets shallower, but there were too many boats and people in the water to get there. The water depth was perfect where I was anyway. There were a lot of boats here. Click the photo to make it larger. I had to carefully maneuver my boat in the crowd so I did not run anyone over or hit any boats. Then I had to drop the anchor, letting out just enough line to get a good hold of the bottom - but not any more because the number of boats in the area meant I could not afford to drift back too far (some asshole would run over my anchor line and I could loose the anchor and chain) or if the wind shifted I did not want to hit any other boats. Not enough line out and I would drag anchor, and possibly hit someone.

Once the boat was anchored it was time to swim, bust out with the BBQ and grill up some lunch, and generally hang out.

Columbus Day is even more wild. The cops and National Park service must hate it - but too bad for them. I really want to be out for that. But I do not yet know if I will be able to go. It depends on a few factors.