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Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Ancient And Venerable Order Of The Knights Of Siam

Time I let you all in on a secret. I am a member of the ancient and venerable order of The Knights Of Siam. And you too can join this order. But first you must meditate on the meaning of the order's mantra. So here it goes.

It helps if you get on your knees in front of the computer. For proper meditation effect, the screen should be displaying this blog. Now, raise both your hands up in the air. While you chant each phrase of the mantra, bend down so the palms of your hands touch the floor. Do this while you are in front of the computer and the screen is displaying this blog.

Now for the Order's meditation mantra.


The O is long, the As are short except for the A in SIAM.

When you think you know what the mantra means, leave a comment and if you are correct you will be inducted into this ancient and venerable order. Start saying the chant out loud slowly at first, then if the meaning does not come to you say it a little faster. Remember to be on your knees with your hands up and bend over so your hands touch the ground after each part of the chant.

If that does not work, do it in your front yard. The fresh air and sunshine will help sharpen your concentration. Your neighbors silently watching you also helps you reach inner oneness so the meaning will become clear to you.

The day out on the water was great. There were a lot of boats out. The boat ramps were all busy. There were hundreds of boats hanging out at each hang out place. The sandbar by Stiltsville was packed, the sandbar at Sands Key was packed (as usual), and the anchorage by Elliot Key that is most famous for the floating Columbus Day party had a bunch of boats at it - but not as many as on Columbus Day.

By the way, Columbus Day is the last big party of the summer for the South Florida boating community. Labor Day is just a dry run for the big day. I hope to be out on Columbus Day (assuming there is no work to get stuck at) so I can tie up with some friends and watch the madness. If I go out for Columbus Day then I am going to want to camp overnight on the boat, and I will bring my kayak somehow so that I can get around in that. Once you are anchored and tied up to other boats, it is hard to move. But the kayak can get anywhere. I even have navigation lights for it so that I can use the kayak at night. The cops will bot be able to harass me because I will have the "proper" lights. I say "proper" because according to the rules that the USCG set forth a paddle craft, as well as "sit on top" day sailboats only need to carry a flashlight at night. When you see another boat, all you do is show that boat a white light or shine it at your sails. A single white light means "vessel at anchor, keep clear". Red and/or green lights means "vessel underway by sail" The green means you are looking at the starboard side of the boat and you are the "stand on" vessel. The red means you are looking at the port side and are the "give way" vessel. A power boat will have the red/green lights at the bow, AND a white light visible from 360 degrees.

Anyway with my alkaline battery powered navigation lights I will be harass proof.

This is Sands Key. There is a sandbar here. The water under my boat was only about 3 1/2 - 4 feet. It gets shallower, but there were too many boats and people in the water to get there. The water depth was perfect where I was anyway. There were a lot of boats here. Click the photo to make it larger. I had to carefully maneuver my boat in the crowd so I did not run anyone over or hit any boats. Then I had to drop the anchor, letting out just enough line to get a good hold of the bottom - but not any more because the number of boats in the area meant I could not afford to drift back too far (some asshole would run over my anchor line and I could loose the anchor and chain) or if the wind shifted I did not want to hit any other boats. Not enough line out and I would drag anchor, and possibly hit someone.

Once the boat was anchored it was time to swim, bust out with the BBQ and grill up some lunch, and generally hang out.

Columbus Day is even more wild. The cops and National Park service must hate it - but too bad for them. I really want to be out for that. But I do not yet know if I will be able to go. It depends on a few factors.

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Blogger Ems said...

Is it usually that grey out on the water? It's so clear out on the Columbia, leading to the Pacific. Blue sky, salty smell...I love it.

Do people really run over your anchor line? That would be annoying.

I watched Hot Fuzz tonight. I was only 41 minutes into the movie and I realized the last names of everyone coincided with their character. (Blow, Angel, Skinner) Pretty funny show, hilarious in spots and the gore was too much, way too gross for me, but in a comical overdone sort of way. Reminded me of SNL when a guy dead lifted a weight and his arms ripped off.
~Announcer man: "Oh, he'll feel that in the morning."~

Thanks for recommending it to me. Good flick overall.

Blogger TLP said...

I am sometimes an ass, but not that stupid. When I was in junior high school, we did this to new girls at slumber parties, only we did it as
oh whaa
ta goo

(Ass was a naughty word way back then. BTW, writing that the "a" in Siam isn't short might imply that it is a LONG A, which it is not. It is "a" as in slap.)

We do Columbus Day up "big" here too. In fact all of fall is one festival after another. Then Halloween festivals, Thanksgiving things start, then Christmas stuff, then New Year's stuff. Then we hiberate until Groundhog Day. February is the most boring month of the year after G-day.

Blogger actonbell said...

That TLP.
And yes, it's a slippery slide into Hallowgivingmas:) The Halloween candy has already started to appear in grocery stores.

Glad you had a great time:)

Blogger cathouse teri said...

We are siam-eeee'eez if you pleeee'eez! Badum-pum-pum.

You kill me.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Emma - digital cameras SUCK at capturing the correct colors. Unless you spend a lot of money on a good one that has an excellent white balance and you know how to properly use it. The second photo it was a little gray for. There was a storm off in the distance. Also the sun was behind the boats in the picture. The lighting was shit.

TLP - I did say the order is ancient. And venerable! Very venerable. More venerable than ancient. I see you are already a member. The Columbus Day party here is legendary. The cops hate it. But too bad for them.

Actionbell - The forces out to make a buck are always trying to spring the "holiday season" on us sooner and sooner every year. It is September! Better start your Christmas shopping now!

Teri - That movie made me want a Siamese cat for the longest time. I never got one. I have a Siamese looking cat now, but she has long hair and just kind sorta looks like a Siamese.

Blogger Kristen said...


I was chanting out on the lawn for clarity, and my neighbor told me what I was saying. Fshew.

Blogger TorAa said...

Colombus Day - hi, that is when the Spanyards thought they where in India.

No, what is to celebrate is Leiv Erikson Day

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Kristen - Welcome to the order. Now you get to indict new members :)

Toraa - No doubt. But when Leiv Erikson "discovered" Newfoundland the Inuit (Eskimos) had already been around for who knows how long.

Native Americans mourn on Columbus Day. It marks the end of their civilization really.

But whatever it is called - it is a floating party here in Miami Florida USA.


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