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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Time Travel

It seems that now you can publish blog posts in the future now! I can write some shit today, set the date to a future date and time (under post options) and Blogger will not publish my post till that day and time.

Neat. Now I can fool people and make myself look normal! No more "posted at 03:30" time stamps for me!!! Oh no, Ill set it up so things are published at 7 AM - maybe 8 or 9 AM on the weekends.

Then people will not think I am not "one of those people". People who are more used to seeing the moon in the sky than that horrid sun.

Yea I know that "horrid" sun is the reason for life on this planet. Without the sun this place would be a frozen chunk of shit floating in space.

But there would be no poverty! And fewer wars! And since we would have never existed anyway nobody would really notice anything different. There never would have been a somebody to notice anything!

And the sun also causes CANCER and WRINKLES and SUNBURN and other shit we would all be better off without.

So I do not really feel like I am missing much. It is kind of nice to go outside at 3 AM and there is..........stillness. Quiet. I can hear traffic a mile away. Really. I can hear cars on the nearest major road driving. I can hear my footsteps on the sidewalk. The crunch of grass that I am walking on seems loud. Trains in the distance are loud and clear.

Still and quiet. Every little sound carries. Can't sneak up on me!

Someone needs to hold down the fort when the moon is high in the sky. Ill volunteer for that shift.

But anyway I can fool people into thinking I am one of them. A day walker.

Anyhow, today I can not be lazy. I have decided that NOW is the time to finish up all the shit I have been putting off, or not really working too hard on. Got to get it done already. I need some ring clamps, silicone sealant, and maybe more hardware. Unless I can remember where I put all the hardware I removed. I think I remember. I am pretty sure I remember actually. GET IT DONE ALREADY!

And then Sunday I may try fishing. Might as well. I got a line on some super bait. KFC skin. Not the chicken, just the skin. So Ill track down a KFC all you can eat buffet place and load up some plastic bags with chicken skin. Original recipe. Snapper are supposed to eat that shit up. And I have a line on some other places to try catching stuff.

If the conditions hold up Ill even try to go to "the edge" for some deep water stuff. The edge meaning of course the edge of the Gulf Stream. It changes from day to day, but generally speaking you are in 150 - 250 feet of water. The greenish inshore water starts to blend in with the deep blue of the gulf stream. Then you look for birds. Flocks of birds diving in the water mean there are bait fish there. And where there are bait fish there are bigger fish. You can also look for things floating. Anything floating for long enough will attract bait fish. Seaweed, garbage - it really does not matter.

Spy reports indicate the dolphin are back.

But so far my fishing track record is not that great. Either there are no fish, or I suck at fishing.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Totally Safe

Today this post is 100% safe. There will be no in depth discussion about should it sink or float. I promise. Not even a little. And there will be no discussion of noises that one might make while at an important business meeting or interview or in church. Really.

And I swear - no talk about the hazards of football season. Do people go to the games to drink and act like idiots or watch a bunch of men play with balls? It is all very mysterious. And the lines can get very long.

Where do I find this stuff at?? Jeez. It is all very tasteless. Very tasteless indeed. Or so you think! You want tasteless? Well here you go! Now that is just terrible. Horrible. The worst. And on the same day CNN has this puff piece about Diana - I post this stuff. I must be terrible.

So maybe this will be better. Although this song link may need to be updated. I do not know. I do not really keep up with stuff like this. I just find the links and post them here. For better or worse. Usually worse. What show was this from? I Dream Of Genie? Sad. I wonder if the song is true? Very tasteless.

Now where was I? Oh yea, posting about comments from yesterday. Some left wing nutjob seemed to find it hard to believe that not even I know what I am doing. Well it is true! By the way, the last link is not to another comedy MP3 file less than 300k long so anyone can download it. If you can call all of those links "comedy bits". I would say some are just crude and should not be funny - but when I heard them on a local radio show while driving a delivery van around town I thought "I am going to hell for laughing at these bits".

This is how it works. Later today I have to go to this thing. Some sort of boat class that somehow I managed to get involved with, and even if I barely know an anchor from a spinnaker they let me help instruct the class. And not knowing an anchor from a spinnaker is bad because one is this large chunk of metal you throw overboard to hook into the bottom and keep the boat from moving, and the other is a sail designed to grab the wind that is blowing from 90 - 180 degrees off the bow. So one should know a chunk of metal from a sail. But the good part is that the people in the class are there because in theory they do not know either. So I just make stuff up and hope it floats.

There I go! I promised there would be no talk of what should sink or float. Depending on its density and composition.

Now in this class I have to do a recon mission. Using large amounts of skill and tact, I have to find out what my plans are for later this week. I have to discover a few things.

1. What some other people in the class have planned.
2. If they have anything more important to do than go somewhere and hang out.
3. If they do have plans, if they can ditch them to do something else.
4. what they want to do.
5. What day(s) they are free to go places and do stuff.

So until I know the answers to one or more if the above questions I do not know what the hell I am doing later this week. I may just sit around here and sulk and feel depressed and finish drinking the bottle of wine I opened up today. And open another. See I am running low on beer from Sanibel (seems like a long time ago) but I remembered I have like 6 or 8 bottles of wine. Hey - might as well drink that stuff. I have only had it for a year or more depending on the bottle. It is just going to go bad.

Or I might go someplace. Get some food. Are there any good movies playing? Probably not. But I know some places to go where I can just walk around and there are a lot of cool places all over. Or splash the boat and enjoy Biscayne Bay because it will be empty because school is in session and people will be at work. Or whatever.

So there. I do not know what I will be doing. There is no way to be able to tell what I will be doing. I have to wait till later today. I know what I would like to do - but I do not know what I will end up doing. But this kind of thing happens fairly often. One would think that by now I would be used to it.

One more thing. Remember Joycelyn Elders? You know, the Surgeon General from 1993 - 1994? Ah the good old days, when THIS was all we had to worry about.

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