Mysteries Of Marketing

I had to take some marketing classes on the college level. I did well, the classes were really easy. I would spend most of my time in the classes checking out chicks. The rest of the time was spent sleeping or thinking "this is all bullshit".

Now I know that somewhere on the internet there is a marketing major reading this and saying "you are wrong! Marketing is not bullshit!".

Well I say it is bullshit. All of it. And here is my evidence to prove my case. You are free to present whatever evidence you may have to refute my claim.

What the hell does a puppy have to do with wiping your ass? You tell me. Well go on! I am waiting! What is this ad trying to tell me? Cottonelle toilet paper is strong enough to support a lab puppy? I had one of those once and they are not little. Do you want to wipe your ass with what amounts to laminated wood paneling, or maybe fiber reinforced sand paper? Or that rip proof stuff used for mailing envelopes?

My case is made. Marketing is stupid. It is all bullshit. Puppies have nothing at all to do with ass wiping. Neither do bears.

Except for my bear joke!

A rabbit and a bear are in the woods. The rabbit sees a bear take a massive shit. The rabbit of course takes a lot of little shits. So the rabbit asks the bear "Mr. Bear, how do keep your shit from sticking to your fur"? The bear says "Good question" - then grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.

But really, how would one advertise toilet paper? You do not want to see someone using it for its intended purpose on TV. Well maybe you do - but if this is the case you are a disgusting sick pervert. We ALL know what it is used for. So the marketing people think "hey I know! Puppies! We will use puppies to sell this ass wiping product!"

And I guess it works. Someone is buying enough Cottonelle toilet paper to pay for all those commercials.