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Monday, January 22, 2007

Things And Stuff

It is time for a things and stuff post! Who knows what this post will bring! It could be anything!

First on the agenda, I went on yet another Shark Valley bike ride! This time where were a whole lot of baby gators. And mama gators. But no daddy gators. The baby gator mamas all got restraining orders, or the daddy gator bailed and is currently wanted for back child support payments. That is how it is in the alligator world! But do not feel too bad - the mama gator only looks after the babies until she gets bored. Once the eggs hatch she sticks around for a few months. Then she feels cramped because she can not go out alligator clubbing with her single alligator chick friends anymore - so she bails out. And the babies are on their own. Then she gets knocked up all over again.

Next on the agenda! At Miami International Airport some quarterback or whatever was busted at a security checkpoint. Checkpoint G to be exact. I know this because I could tell where the local news reporter was. There is a Chilis Too Go there. And the reporter mentioned "Air Tran". They only fly out of G. G is not connected to anything else. So there!

By the way, Air Tran is like the cheapest airline that flies out of Miami. It is a bus with wings. The entire plane is coach class. You would think that the Atlanta Falcons quarterback could spring for a better airline. Guess not!

Anyway, that is not important. The guy had some sort of "water bottle". The water bottle was fake. It was made to look like a bottle of water, but the bottle came apart and you could hide stuff behind the label. The guy did not want to toss the water, and someone working for TSA probably recognized the dude. Now WHY would someone making all that phat money not want to toss out a measly $1 bottle of water? Cause it was a stash hiding spot!

So they pulled the bottle out of the trash and inspected it. They found a "speck" of something that "smelled like marijuana".

OK! Lets review here. A SPECK. That is not even enough to bother to put into a bowl and light up. It is less than a roach. SO WHAT!?!?! Now it was a good find, I mean ANYTHING could have been in the fake bottle. The local news reporter found some goon who said that "you can hide a gun or knife" in there. This is true but it would have to be a little gun or knife. And you would still have to get it past the metal detectors and/or x-ray machine. If you have a gun, TSA is going to nab you. It is that simple. So whatever. They found it because the football player made a big deal about having to chuck the bottle.

Anonymous reports have indicated that whatever it was - it was not pot. Or anything illegal. So this brings up another question.

Does ANYONE working for TSA there know what pot smells like? I know someone does. Someone ALWAYS knows. They may not admit it, or come out and say "hell yea I know what the chronic smells like" because that shit makes you get "randomly selected" to piss in a plastic cup. But if you gather 10 people, at least one knows very well that weed smells like. At least.

So what was it in that bottle? Who knows. It probably WAS pot. But due to the small amount, and the fact the dude is the Atlanta Falcons quarterback - the cops just decided it would be less hassle to throw out the evidence and forget about it. Bad press for the city, and just before the Super Bowl?! Can't have that. But I wonder how a "normal" person like you or I would have fared? What if it was YOUR bottle? Not really my bottle. I know enough to know that you can't take a water bottle past the checkpoint.

Last point - So much for my conspiracy theory. It seems that the Saints lost, meaning they can not win the Stupid Bowl. However, what this means is that this is a DOUBLE conspiracy theory! I uncovered the original conspiracy, so the people behind it changed the plan. Now the Saints loose, so everyone thinks New Orleans sucks ass, everyone moves out to live someplace nicer, the city can be turned back into wetlands, and Bush can claim a "major victory in the war on terror", and also claim to have "done more for the environment than Al Gore".

One less city means one less place for the terrorists to attack. And creating more wetlands is good for the environment. Also, with no city of New Orleans the crime rate in Louisiana will drastically drop.

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Anonymous Lammy said...

Looking at that picture of the backseat of your car makes us think you must have a very interesting sex life.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

A sex life (or lack of it) is the main motivating factor in cleaning out the truck!

Blogger dusty said...

Good post, good pics..I love sports and Vick is a tool, as well as a tightass evidently.

I know what good pot smells like, but I am not dumb enough to mention it in an airport these days..most tsa folks are idiots and powerfreaks..and will hold you for ANYTHING.

Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

I wonder why Gators do it Doggie style?

It makes me so mad when people try to revitalize downtown (ghetto) areas. New bulding should occur far away from these areas.

Admittedly cities like Miami, New Orleans Filthydelphia, Atlanta, Raleigh, Youngstown, Durham and St. Petersburg should just be bombed.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Why St. Petersburg? Too many old folks?


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