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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Not Real News

As you may know I have tirade-ed about how the so called "major" news networks do not report on real news. They either make shit up (Fox), or report non-news items like they are matters of high national importance (all the rest). Oh yea they ALL like to waste countless hours speculating. I guess this counts as "making shit up" because really the speculators are just pulling stuff out of their ass. The tactic most used is to get as many speculators pulling shit out of their ass as you can, then when ONE turns out to be right repay the clip over and over while saying "SEE!?!?! You heard this here first!". The other 50 who were wrong? We are supposed to forget about them.

And yes, I know I made up the word "tirade-ed". But what the hell! Thanks to our President, it is now acceptable to make up words and pass them off as real. This will be the ONE good thing accomplished by him in history books.

Just like we are supposed to forget about Pat Robertson and his super mega shake that allowed him to leg press 2,000 pounds. Remember that shameless attempt to sell a magical protein shake? It must be magical, because the FSU football player record for a leg press is a scant 1,335 pounds. The machine used had to be modified to hold the weight, and the dude burst the capillaries in his eyes.

But just as we are supposed to forget the laughable claims by old men pushing magical milkshakes, we are supposed to forget about the wild speculation presented to us as "news" that turns out to be wrong.

But wild speculation is not all the non-news reported on NATIONAL networks, and fed to the public as matters of dire importance.

Case and point - the "news" yesterday. It seems that a few homes owned by rich people burned down. Some of these multi-million homes were unoccupied, because the owners were off in their second, third, or even fourth multi-million dollar home somewhere else. One such unoccupied home happened to belong to some "famous" person. This story of great national importance was on every cable news channel is HEAVY ROTATION - complete with the usual gaggle of speculators guessing if the fire was set intentionally or sparked by some natural process. And if it WAS arson how did they start the fire? A match? A lighter? Did they use gasoline? And so on.

It all sucked up hours of national news air time.

Aww you are TERRIBLE! How could you be happy someone's home was burned down?

I am not "happy" about the homes burning down. All I am saying is that this is NOT NATIONAL NEWS! Just because ONE of Suzanne Summer's many multi-million dollar homes burns down it is NATIONAL news? Come on!

If it were MY home that burned down would that be national news? Or if it were your home, would it be national news? Where would the speculators be? How about if your entire block burned down. Would THAT be national news? What if no rich or famous people lived on your block - would it be national news then? Would it get HOURS of air time, or just a 30 second blurb repeated every hour or so?

No. It would not. Would CNN, Fox, MSNBC, and whoever else ask you if you plan to rebuild? Hell no. You and I are just the little people who do not matter. But when a few homes burn down, one of which belongs to a "famous" person the news vans will be as thick as flies on shit.

This is what I mean when I say that you will not see much of any news by watching the news.



Blogger dusty said... speak the truth. The MSM takes our mind off the real problems facing us but selling us the sadness of burning mansions in Hollyweirds bedroom community of typo btw :)

People only take so much truth then they zone out and watch reruns of Raymond. The MSM knows this, not to mention the MSM is expected to show a profit in many of the networks..and of course the newspapers.

Britney fucking Spears, Paris fucking Hilton..and now Suzanne fucking Sommers house..its all tripe that masquerades as news..its filler until the Pres does his speechi-fying tonight..I can't wait for it..the ratings will go through the roof!

And we will finally find out what ALL those friggin "minds" have come up with to fix Iraq.

Blogger dusty said...

Btw..excuse my ramblings today...heavily medicated doesn't help me make sense..nor is it supposed to. I just refuse to stay in bed..its friggin boring :P

Blogger Fuzz said...

Here's one,
How the News Makes Us Dumb
By C. John Sommerville

Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

I think all middle-age women can learn from Suzanne Summers. Use sunscreen.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

On a similar yet different note, a DJ who works a number of the hip hop clubs in Denver was on the radio this morning talking about how there is at least one fatal shooting a week at these clubs, but this never makes the news. It took the shooting of a pro athlete (Darrent Williams) to make the news. Why aren't these other shootings making the news and why isn't something being done if the problem is this extreme? This sounds like a real problem to me, but I had never even heard about it until now.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Dusty - This is something that is way beyond a theory. It is a fact. The sheer amount of non-news is staggering.

Fuzz - I do not think so much that the swill makes people dumb. I think that the non-news is a reflection on how dumb the population is getting on its own. The lowest common factor keeps getting lower and lower.

Caiman - only sunscreen?

Cheesemeister - the reason is simple. The professional athlete is important, everyone else getting shot is not. When mundane things happen to a "celebrity" the media goes nuts. Be it an adoption, constipation, farting, or whatever else normal people do all the time.

Blogger Badoozie said...

this one time i pulled an entire essay out of my ass, i was on the news that night

Blogger Fuzz said...

Sommerville says that the "news" is a product that must be produced every day to sell newspapers, TV advertising etc. So most of it is a waste of time .

Blogger UNO said...



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