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Monday, February 05, 2007

Some Sort Of National Madness

So I ended up watching the Super Bowl. I had no real interest in watching it, but I got invited to a party and there was beer and tequila and food and stuff - so it was not all bad. I had to watch some of the game, but that is part of a Super Bowl party.

Anyway, here is my synopsis!

The rain! HA HA! if you spend $5,000 for a ticket to a football game in my opinion you DESERVE to get rained on. The cheapest tickets that someone at the party could find were $1,500. After market price of course. If you were able to win the ticket lottery then tickets were going for $300 - $600 or so and you could only buy two. I probably should have entered the lottery, but you had to do it a full year before the game day. Or something like that. Would I have put my tickets on E-Bay? HELL YEA! If some idiot wanted to pay me $5,000 for my $600 ticket I would sell that thing so fast my head would spin. Then I would have gone to the party with the $10,000 cash in my pocket. When someone at the party said "you could have gone and you did not?!" I would look outside, point out the rain, then start to count my wad-o-cash.

So excuse me again while I laugh my ass off at the people who paid $5,000 to sit in the rain for hours. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Welcome to Florida suckers! Leave your money in the basket, and get the hell out!

The commercials SUCKED ASS! Totally sucking there. I saw a bunch of commercials I had already seen! What gives there? LAME! And there were even commercials for the CBS Evening News!! What the crap? Could not sell all that air time huh? You should have told me! I would have given $50 or $100 for those 15 seconds. It would have been $50 or $100 more than they made throwing out a promo for a news show. I could have made a 15 second commercial better than ANY other commercial aired.

An estimated 250,000 people crammed into South Beach for the "parties". Of course most of the good parties were closed to VIPs only. That is how it always is. So what is South Beach? Ill tell you! It is a small place. The Art Deco district is only a few blocks. There ARE a lot of bars and night clubs - but there is no place to park. I can not imagine how so many people crammed into such a small area. it must have been a lot like putting 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag.

I want to take more time to laugh at the fools who paid $5,000 PLUS airfare PLUS an overpriced hotel room PLUS meals PLUS rental car fee / cab money just to sit in the rain for a few hours. You could have saved a lot of money by paying me $50 to sit in my front yard and watch a TV through a window!

And did I mention that it hardly rained at all at the party I was at? It drizzled a bit, but it was not really "raining".

So now things can return to normal. The airport will be a mess tomorrow. Not only is it CRUISE SHIP DAY but it is also Super Bowl people leaving day. So what is cruise ship day? This is the day that a ship (or several ships) return to port. You know it is cruise ship day because of all the tour buses on the departure level. The buses show up in waves, unloading hundreds or even thousands of people at a whack. So add that to the extra traffic caused by Super Bowl and you have a mess. But I am not working airport checkpoint security anymore - so cruise ship day is not a big deal. Actually, I am not working at the airport at all anymore. So no worries about that! When I did work there I would use the employee parking areas, and ride the free employee shuttle bus so I would never have to drive the terminal loop. It will be extra super crazy there today. I feel sorry for anyone who has to drive to that place. Mostly the shuttle bus drivers. They are nice. Or at least they were nice to me.

So there you go! The Super Bowl from a very lazy point of view.

HA HA if you paid thousands of dollars to get rained on! You deserved it. People are starving to death in third world countries and you paid HOW MUCH to watch a football game?!?!

The commercials sucked ass. They sucked mega super donkey balls ass.

It did not rain very much at the house party I went to! Just some drizzle. HA HA again.

There were 250,000 idiots packed into a small area all day Saturday. How the hell everyone got there with SUPER CRAPPY public transportation and no place to park private vehicles is a mystery to me. There is a light rail system in Miami, but it does not go anywhere near the beach. So I guess they all got there by bus or taxi? Who knows. All I know is that I avoided that area like it was the black death.

Extra super crazy day at both of the South Florida major airports! But I will not be anywhere near either of them. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. And so on in that manner.

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13 Comments:

Blogger Badoozie said...

so........i think what you are trying to say here, is that it sucks ass that you did not get to go to the game, and get rained on....and that your party was stupid, and also that you really enjoyed the commercials? did i get your main points?

10:03  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Close. I would not have gone to the game even if I were given tickets, for I do not follow sports. I would have sold the tickets - for I enjoy cash more than I do football!

The party was OK. I knew most of the people there, so it was more of a gathering of friends than a "party". Nothing wild and crazy going on. But still a nice time.

The commercials did suck. Really lacking there! Previous years commercials were much better.

18:22  
Blogger actonbell said...

LOL, this sounds like BUI.

I am SO SICK of football, and so glad the stupid Superbowl is over! I agree, the commercials were subpar. Not that I even stuck it out to watch all of them. I DID think it was cool how Prince benefited, in an artistic sort of way, with the rain. heh.

We usually host a party, but not this year, so I went to bed early *yawn*

Sounds like you found a good party, though:)

18:37  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I never considered the irony of "Purple Rain" and the actual rain being purple from all the purple light!

Good call!

18:50  
Blogger Badoozie said...

you really don't have to explain your self....you do realize i'm retarded, and get everything mixed up, including which way is up? although i was doing that on purpose, only because you repeated it 9 times....LOL

roflmao
lmao
brb
ttyl
ababb
pita
fwac
lemoi


there's some acronyms for ya, just thought i'd throw those out there

19:44  
Blogger Badoozie said...

ps, i will now bow to you as the great fish master, because another one of mine died last night

i do have a serious question for you. why is it when the fish die, they turn white RIGHT AWAY

19:45  
Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

I wouldn't go to Miami if you promised to pay me $5k and arrange sex with a Cuban chick pre-fat butt.

I totally agree with your assessment.

19:53  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Badoozie - nobody knows why fish turn white as soon as they croak. My best guess is that it helps us know when they are actually dead.

Caiman - sex with a pre-fat butt Cuban chick?!?!?! You sure go for them a little on the young side huh? 15 is way below my minimum age requirement.

22:27  
Blogger Senor Caiman said...

Good point, that's just too young. A pre-fat butt Haitian then.

23:24  
Blogger Badoozie said...

are you two insinuating all chicks over 15 have fat butts? hmmmmmmmmm, i thought guys liked a little junk in the trunk. and when will you all realize the charm of a middle aged woman? they LIKE to have sex, whereas the young ones have to be inebriated first. otherwise they have a headache.

00:33  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

badoozie - the Cuban chick ass is legendary for its proportions. It does not even look natural. Having a narrow waist and a big huge ass is normal. Then the waist catches up with the trunk as time passes.

Think of a corset and one of those "Dorothy from the Wizard Of Oz" dresses. Not take away the dress but KEEP THE SHAPE. Add some hip hugger pants, and thong underwear you can see cause it stick up above the back of the low cut jeans.

03:36  
Blogger Fuzz said...

I checked out the score monday morning just so I wouldn't have to ask at work. Why are the commercials such a hot news item ?

20:45  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Got me. But they are. Probably because of the crazy amounts of money spent on them.

18:00  

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