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Monday, September 17, 2007

Things That Piss Me Off

I am going to try a new posting schedule. Steal time in the afternoon to post. So far it seems to be working. Of course, this is only day 1. I predict that in a few short days I will be back to my old ways.

And now on to things that piss me off part I lost count. Really, I lost count. There are that many parts.

Misplacing the remote control. I know where the DVD player remote control is, and the remote for the satellite TV thing - but not for the actual TV. So now I have to get up to turn the TV on and off, and adjust the volume and stuff. So what is my solution? Don't watch that shit. Keep it off. Who needs it anyway.

People who install equipment that is CLEARLY not street legal, and cops who do nothing about it. Oh yea the porkers are there to hide behind a tree to catch you violating a temporary sign you did not notice because you have been turning at the intersection of Bird Road and SW 107 Ave for centuries and the sign was never there before - but that is about all they are good for.

Meanwhile, the asshole with purple headlights never gets stopped. Neither does the asshat with the lifted truck. Hell the asshat with the lifted truck is probably a cop himself. One time I was at a mall, and there were a bunch of County cops around one of these lifted trucks. The front bumper was at least 4 or 5 feet off the ground. Now measure the height of your car from the ground to the top of your trunk. Now imagine some asshole in a monster truck running into you at 50 mph. Where is that bumper going to hit?

Anyway, the cops were swarming the truck. So I think "GOOD! I hope they confiscate that asshole's license plate and have the truck towed off". Then I get closer. The driver is wearing a police shirt. The other cops are hanging out with him drinking coffee. They are all buddies. Hey, nice truck! Did you just get it!

They ALL should have been FIRED. Every single last one of them. Fired. Kicked off the force. Pensions revoked. Insurance revoked. Not a single one of them deserved to protect or serve the public. They were just a bunch of pigs, wallowing in their own slop. Not serving any purpose, other than to illegally park and partially block the flow of mall traffic. If that asshole pig driving the lifted truck rear ends a normal car - the driver is going to be dead. The truck was high enough to drive right over a car, crushing it and the person inside. As a fictional spider would say, "some pig".

And such lifted trucks are common in Miami. I see them often enough. They are a hazard to everyone on the road. But do the cops do anything about it? Hell no. If they did, you would not see these vehicles because they would get stopped and license plates would be revoked. You can own a lifted truck, but you can not drive it on the street. You register it as a swamp buggy and get a special off road plate and pay lower taxes on it. Then you buy another truck with a flat bed trailer and TOW the thing to the swamp to drive it. Keep your friggin swamp buggy OFF roads that are for CARS, and I will keep my CAR out of the swamp. Not that I have a car per say, I have a truck. But it is not lifted and my front and rear bumpers are well within the legal limits. I think I have 18 inches of bumper clearance - the State says I can have 24 inches. I looked it up.

The assholes with the purple headlights can be seen miles away at night. You can spot them by the purple light. And then there are the penis breath people who get HID upgrade kits and install them in vehicles that did not come with HID lights. So what is the problem here? The non-HID reflectors do not have the light cut off devices that HID reflectors have. So you get blinded. A non-HID vehicle with HID upgrades looks like a regular vehicle with brights on to oncoming traffic. Up to a point anyway. The closer you get the less glare there is. But still - a whole lot of people get these kits. IF the pigs were doing their job, these assholes would be stopped and given equipment violation tickets. If the drivers failed to fix the problem, they would get more and more and more tickets till eventually their license would get suspended and then they would go to jail. And nobody would install these illegal kits.

But noooooo. This is too much work! Why then the cops would have to actually pay attention to stuff other than hot chicks in other cars.

Oh yea, I got slapped with court costs for my "illegal lane change" ticket. Friggin lawyers. What a bunch of worthless leaches they are. A POX ON ALL TRAFFIC LAWYERS! And who even knew that in Dade County it is possible to make an illegal lane change? From what I have observed, the lines on the roads are just suggestions. People are turning left from the far right lane, crossing over solid white lines, passing in no passing zones, and all sorts of madness. And I get a ticket for illegal lane change? Well fine. Whatever. Maybe Ill just move to Aruba and they can kiss my ass if they want the $120. Or I will go to the bank and pull out the amount of the fine in nickels, then take that to the court and pay the fine in person. They can not say "we do not accept nickels" because nickels are legal tender! If they do not accept nickels, then that must mean they do not accept any legal form of payment - and therefore I can not possibly pay them because I do not possess any illegal forms of currency (drugs, phony money, etc). And if I can not pay the courts because they will not accept my money, then a judge HAS TO throw out my fine! It is only fair after all.

The bank will gladly accept my nickels - no matter how many I lug in.



Blogger TLP said...

A penny for your thoughts? You could get money from selling your posts, then pay in pennies. Just an idea.

Anonymous M@t said...


The blacks and the Mexicans have turned the country into a big garbage can, deal with it.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

TLP - great idea. I may just do that.

M@t - The Country seems to be turning itself into a big garbage can on its own.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I also love the cops that turn on their lights and sirens just so they can go through a red light. No emergency--they turn them off when they get to the other side of the intersection. Assholes!


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