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Friday, September 07, 2007

Boat Intensive Weekend

I am kind of surprised that I only got one comment about my movie review. The Seventh Seal is supposedly one of the best films ever made. Also on that list is Citizen Cane and some others. It seems most of them are black and white.

But whatever. The next movie I think I will get is one of the WORST films ever made. Want to know what that might be? Google "Ed Wood" or "Edward Wood Jr". The guy is a legend because of "how bad" his movies were.

This weekend is shaping up to be fairly nutty. Saturday I may be out in the boat. The "friends" who crapped out last weekend may be available for a mission this week. Go figure. And I may be able to scare up someone who was going to go out last weekend, but was not feeling well. So that will be 4 people out.

And I figured out the secret to the boat mission. Here is how it works. NEVER tell anyone what ramp you are using. Tell them "just meet me at my house at 8 AM" or whatever. So they show up at your house. Then you say "hey just ride in the truck because then you do not have to pay the parking". Now the people are in your vehicle and you have them hostage!

Then after that, you tow the boat to the ramp and get it in the water. Then after the day is over everyone loads back up in the truck.

Now this is where the plan comes together. You stop at the gas station to fill the tanks back up. See, I keep the fuel tanks full all the time. Right now the boat is on the trailer, with tanks full of stabilized gas. So whatever I use to fill up at the end of the day is the amount of fuel used that day.

Now you got em! Gas, grass, or ass - NOBODY rides free. Except due to the whole "having to pee in a cup" thing the grass is out. Well due to the pee in a cup thing and it is illegal. So gas or ass - nobody rides free. And the ass option is only available if you happen to be a chick that I deem to be of acceptable quality.

If you tell people "meet me at boat ramp X" then this is what they do. And at the end of the day you leave in one vehicle with the boat, and everyone else leaves in their vehicle. Leaving you the only person at the evil gas station.

Then when you get home, you have slaves to help clean the boat. But I really do not need anyone to help clean the boat. I can do this myself. I kind of like doing this myself really.

And Sunday I am going out on another boat that is not mine. A 32 footer with twin engines. I will learn the proper way to tow another boat. From a long tow, to a short tow, and then to a side tow. The government pays the fuel bill. I may also have to do other drills like "recover the man overboard" and "drop the anchor" and "stand as a lookout" and stuff.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

Just wanted to say 500 days and counting!

07:45  
Blogger TLP said...

So tomorrow we will be under 500 days left with the a$$hole! Yea!

Are you going to see the movie Ed Wood? It's supposed to be pretty good. In fact I think Martin Landau won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in that.

OR, are you actually going to watch a movie that Ed Wood made. If the latter, think it over. You'll never get that hour back.

08:19  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ed - 500 days is better than 600 days, but not quite as good as 10 days. This count down timer is counting down WAY TOO SLOWLY!

TLP - I did see "Ed Wood". It was a good movie. Not everyone realizes it is about a real person. I own my own copy of Plan 9 From Outer Space. It came with a video game I bought. And yes, I watched it. I added Ed's first film to my list, and it arrives Saturday.

17:15  
Blogger AP3 said...

You and your boats! Sounds like a great time. And 500 days of Bush... we're gettin' there.

20:57  
Blogger cathouse teri said...

I liked Ed Wood.

So, that was an interesting rant you put in the comments at my blog. I'm trying to digest it.

So you don't want a chick who depends on you. And you don't want a chick who doesn't depend on you. And you can't afford a chick to just take out. So you choose to be chickless? Seriously? Chickless? Like... no sex?

I think you just don't wanna give up wearing those crocs. :)

22:22  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

AP3 - we are getting there. Slowly. Too slowly.

Teri - I am just tired of thinking for others. I have a hard enough time thinking for myself. Crocs are the best boat shoes on the planet.

02:56  
Blogger cathouse teri said...

Well hun. I'm pretty sure my boyfriend doesn't have to think for me. But I get what you mean.

I told that very thing to someone just the other day! He was criticizing crocs and I said, "I know someone (okay, I used the term KNOW kinda loosely) who says they are the best boat shoes on the planet!" He said, "No, topsiders are." I said, "But those are leather." He said, "Yeah, but they stay really nice if you take care of them." I said, "But you don't have to take care of crocs!"

03:25  
Blogger Kristen said...

Your plan for getting people to chip in for gas is perfect. Back when I was on a small lake in a 17-footer with my buddy, I could take $10 and that would HELP. That was 10 years ago. $10 in a boat now might get you back to the ramp if you're on empty. That shit ain't cheap.

15:59  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Teri - topsiders suck. First off, quality control went to hell with the,. They fall apart.

If they get wet your feet stay wet all day. When you take the shoes off, they stink. And your feet stink. Everything stinks. You can also get foot fungus from the wetness. NONE of these problems happen with Crocs. They are the best boat shoes ever invented.

Kristen - $10 at a marina fuel dock is less than three gallons. You can pretty much add a buck per gallon to the usual price of fuel at a marina. Giving someone $10 for boat gas is almost an insult.

01:53  

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