Final Post.

Final post of 2007 that is. It seems that this is the LAST DAY of the year, unless you are on the future side of the International Date Line in which case it is already tomorrow for you.

I got no plans. Nothing. Not a darn thing. It is possible something will pop up, but for now I got nothing going on. Pretty boring. I should kick over some rocks and see what I find. There has to be something going on somewhere.

But whatever. I do not care too much. The traffic is horrible anyway. And the cops are out - and since they have to work they are in a pissy mood and are looking for someone to arrest. Party poopers. Hey if you can not have any fun, might as well spread the misery! NOBODY CAN HAVE FUN! Oh well.

So what I intend to do with this post is wrap up a few loose ends. Like the poster I told Avery I would post, before I forgot about it. Something about a video game convention or some such madness. Here is my rule about conventions.


This reminds me of the one convention I did go to. I was not 21 yet, and it was a Star Trek convention. A friend of mine really wanted to go and so I did. It was amusing at first, with all the people dressed up like TV characters and speaking Klingon and shit. But after an hour or so, the amusement turned into sorrow when I realized that without Star Trek, 90% of the people there had no reason to live.

So now whenever I feel like a loser, I just remember that convention. Then I feel better about myself. At least I am not watching old TV shows thinking green chicks are hot, or trying to learn a made up alien language. Or worse yet - I am not like the guy in the poster who thinks he is a robot that can transform into a big rig. Ill bet he gets all the chicks that are into transformers. All NONE of them.

Now I know what you are thinking. You are thinking "Lazy, you seem to think you are a pirate! Whats up with that? How can you make fun of people who think they are Klingons and Optimus Prime"?

Well maybe I AM a pirate! Except instead of pieces-o-eight I have MP3s. But hell, I would rather be a fake pretend pirate than Optimus Prime. Or a ninja. You know why?


Thats right! When was the last time you saw a ninja with wenches? Or a Transformer with wenches? Or a video game character with wenches?

I thought so.

But NONE of this stuff has anything to do with the end of the year. This does

LAZY IGUANA'S NEW YEARS EVE TIPS!!!!!

Buy some Alka-Seltzer Morning Relief. NOW. Thank me later. This stuff is 500 mg aspirin with 60 mg caffeine. Perfect for....uhhhh...over indulgence relief. For some reason this stuff is hard to find. I think that production needs to be stepped up.

So if you can not find it - here is what you do. I have done this before, so I know it works. It tastes horrible - but sometimes you do not have any sick days and you have to go to work.

So you need....GOODY'S EXTRA STRENGTH HEADACHE POWDER! This stuff is cheap and effective. Each packet contains 520 mg aspirin, 260 mg acetaminophen, and 32.5 mg caffeine. This stuff WORKS.

If all else fails, then you can follow this emergency procedure. Take your standard aspirin pills (I recommend a 500 mg dose unless there is a reason you take less) and crush them. You can do this with two spoons. Place the pills in one spoon, then crush them with the other spoon. Then get some Cuban Coffee - which is also known as Espresso. Put the powdered aspirin in your mouth, then chase it with a shot of espresso.

The caffeine and aspirin work together to help the morning after. I do not fully understand the chemistry involved, I just know it works.

TIP 2 - DRINK WATER. This helps. Drink enough water and you will not need anything else.