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Monday, January 14, 2008

3 AM rant

So as you may recall (and you probably do not) I mentioned something about my resolution for the new year being "to have at least one beer each month that I have never had before". I do not think I ever posted this here, I posted this as a comment somewhere else.

Karlovacko is a beer from Croatia. 5.4% alcohol by volume, with a light golden color. I would classify this as a Pilsner style beer, which are popular in that region of the world. Very drinkable, with a light flavor. But not like domestic "lite" beer. It would make a very good summer beer, perfect for a hot day. On a hot day you do not really want a thick heavy beer. At least I don't. I want something crisp and refreshing and with a lower alcohol content.

I have three more beers from Eastern Europe. Actually from Poland. They are 500 ml bottles (16.9 fluid ounces). I like 500 ml bottles. And the Polish beers are not playing games, at at least 7% ABV each.

And now for yet another CNN rant! Well not really so much CNN but other groups featured on CNN. Namely some Anti-Hillary group. They were shown watching footage of Hillary on some dippy TV show, looking for anything they could use. So they focused on....a laugh! Yes a laugh. They compared to to the Howard Dean Scream, pronouncing the laugh (they called it a cackle) was "not presidential".

NOT PRESIDENTIAL?!?!? Really now. Lets stop to think about this for a second. Here are a bunch of right wingers claiming that a "cackle" is not presidential.

Hey right wingers - kind of late to worry about people acting "un-presidential" don't you think? I mean look at the stuttering bumbling idiot in place now. That is some grade A presidential material there! Why he is the best speaker in the last 100 years! He has an excellent command of the English language. He even said himself "I am the commander guy".

Really now - you people (Bush voters) lowered the bar. You have to realize this is true. Experience? Not an issue anymore! Ability to speak English? Not an issue anymore! Did you all think about this when you wanted him to run in 2000? Did you think about this in 2004? At least in 2000 there was a real primary on the Republican side. You all had many people to choose from, and which horse did you back?

The one with no real experience in anything. The one whose major claim to fame was a string of failed businesses, and signing a bunch of death warrants for people more retarded than he was. The one whose speaking skills are not as good as many people I know who floated to Miami in the 1980s during the Mariel Boat Lift - people who landed on US Soil unable to speak any English. Now how can this be "Presidential"? When someone who floats here on a boat can speak BETTER ENGLISH than you can when you were born in the USA and supposedly attended the best schools in America, and the person who floated here landed unable to speak a word of English and had to attend public schools - what the fuck is your excuse? Well what is it? Are you just stupid, or was it more of a case where you were born rich and knew that you would always be rich no matter what you did so you just never tried to learn anything?

What a crock of shit this all is. NOW, after it is too late, all these things are suddenly supposed to be an issue. I have news for you guys. It may be an issue to those on the left, but people on the right need to just shut up and NEVER EVER mention "qualifications" or "presidential" for the next 20 years. You ran with your horse, now live with the consequences.

Another rant will be focused on the Golden Globe Awards. WHO GIVES A SHIT?!?!?!?! Why is an awards show a "major media event"?!? DO NOT BUY THE STUPID MAGAZINES! Who gives a crap?! If you like a movie or TV show is that not enough? Why the hell do you have to care about awards? YOU are NOT winning anything. Got that? Nothing.

This year there was no big ceremony, thanks to the writers strike. The writers strike did something very positive for this nation. No stupid red carpet, with people walking on it. This year it was just a press conference. And that is all it should ever be.

Celebrities do not give a shit if YOU win an award - so why the hell do you give a shit when they win something? No, they do not. Not in the slightest. Not even a little bit.

All the people that flock to these shows and stand outside to yell and scream when they see someone "important" walk down the carpet need to be sterilized so they can not reproduce.

The gene pool is in serious need of chlorine. At this point it may even require a shock treatment, or even a complete draining, pressure cleaning, and then refilled.

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Blogger actonbell said...

Nice beer review!

I'm already sick of this campaign, and it's early. Waaaaa

The Golden Globes come around every year, and I'm barely aware of it, but no one can miss hearing everything about the Oscars. I've always wondered why one award show is so much bigger than the other. I agree, there's something nauseating about a bunch of rich popular kids getting together to have a lavish, congratulatory party that they KNOW the rest of us are dying to watch.

I do like to see the dresses, I'll admit, but I can see them online. I will not buy a magazine to do that.

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

The only thing I use the award shows for is a source for stocking up my Netflix que. I just read the blurb in the paper the day after and add the winners and some of the other nominees. Best of all, I don't have to stay up for five hours to hear who they were.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Take a flame thrower to the gene pool....

So wouldn't it be cool if you got a certificate to the "Beer of the Month Club"? OR, you could start one of those clubs

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Actionbell - The campaign is getting old already. It seems people have been running for President since 2006. I do not care about any awards show - unless I happen to be up for an award. Then I care. But only if I win.

Ed - I have to admit I did add a few movies to my list.

Doozie - I thought about a beer of the month exchange thing. I may still start one. Want in?

Blogger M@ said...

In college, the guys and I decided to break the ice w/ the Japanese dude by buying him a beer from Japan. When we gave it to him, he started laughing maniacally.

Apparently, it was the schlitts of Japan.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

M@ - Japan is not really known for their beer. But the Sake is excellent. You should have gone for a bottle of Sake. But I will guess about the beer. Asahi (likely super dry) or Kirin. Not really on my list of favorites. If I ever get to Japan, Ill just stick to the rice wine. Hot.

Blogger Avery Gray said...

The thing that gets me about those award shows is the swag the celebrities receive. Why the hell give the rich people $25,000 gift bags just for showing up? And then these same rich people go on television and guilt the public into donating their hard-earned money for the celebrity's causes. Hey, here's an idea--donate your damn gift bag!

Anywho, I posted some pictures I thought you might like. Check today's post.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Avery - they get gift bags? What the hell? They can buy their own stupid gift bags! I make it a point to NOT give to charities pitched by celebrities. In fact I may start sending them letters saying that I will NOT donate a penny to them until they tell (so and so) to sit down and shut the hell up.

Blogger Fuzz said...

Maybe you should get some sleep.

Blogger Lily Strange said...

I think we need to create the Paris Hilton Stupid Spoiled Whore award. Then again, who is more deserving of this award than Paris and her cronies?

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

Great rant. I'm linking it.

Blogger susan said...

Excellent! Couldn't have said it better myself.. and didn't. Still laughing as I head home but I'll be back.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fuzz - I sleep all day. I am on a reverse of normal schedule.

Lily - South Park already did a "Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset" episode.

Scarlet - I could always use the traffic! Some rants are better than others.

Susan - I do not always have rants. Sometimes all I have is bullshit. But when I do come up with rants they are usually good.

Blogger susan said...

Hey, if we could guarantee a good rant every day it would be scary because we'd be a Bill O'Reilly or a Don Imus clone.

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