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Tuesday, January 01, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

NEW YEAR, NEW LOOK! Purple with wavy lines is sooooooo 2007. Always on top of the latest trends in blog backgrounds, I went with the blue motif you see now. Trust me here - dark blue is this year's black. For blog backgrounds. You can either take my word for it - or be left behind in blog background fashion never land.

I hope you had a good New Years Eve. As of the writing of this post, I have no idea what the hell I am doing now. See this is a time shifted post. I wrote it in the past, and then saved it to Blogger. This way I can simply log in from the new cell phone, and post from where ever I happen to be. Slick huh? Technology kicks ass.

I also do not know how I am feeling. Maybe great - maybe OK, and maybe I am dry heaving and wishing that alcohol was never invented. There is just no way to tell. Chances are I am OK however, I am pretty good at maintaining. Of course, there was the time about a month or two ago when I got way too loaded and ended up on someone's floor and did not move till 4 PM the next day. But this does not happen very often. There is only one New Years Eve I can not remember.

So....HAPPY NEW YEARS DAY! I hope you feel better than this guy.

Now I am going to take a guess with this photo. Someone got really drunk and passed out. Maybe on the floor of the bar, maybe in the bathroom. so his "friends", who were also drinking, thought it would be funny to place the guy's face in the pisser and then take a photo. This is why you NEVER EVER want to be the first to pass out on "guys night out". Cause your "friends" will do something like this to you. Oh yea, and do not expect the designated driver (if there is one) to help. If I were the designated driver I would allow it to happen. I would just insist that someone use a bunch of paper towels to sop up the pisser water so that the person does not drown.

This reminds me of a house party I went to years ago. Someone got drunk and passed out. So the other people who were there (EVERYONE was drinking) decided to "mess" with the guy. So they got some chick's nail polish. NAIL POLISH!!!! Come on, we can do better than that! People have no imagination. So after they were all done and thought they were so funny I busted out with a Sharpie Marker and wrote, on the guy's back....

UNCLE ACCESS ONLY

Then I drew and arrow down the spine pointing to the ass area.

The funny part was the next day he went to the beach. Shirtless. Nobody told him about the writing on his back before hand.

Now THAT is funny. Fingernail polish takes no creativity. But "Uncle access only" with an arrow is genius level stuff. It is beyond genius level, it is the stuff of legend.

That or this is a photoshop deal. It is not always easy to tell.

At any rate, this is a shitty way to begin the new year. So I hope that everyone out there is at least doing better than this guy.

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17 Comments:

Blogger Avery Gray said...

Let me be the first to wish your new blue blog a Happy New Year!!

Looks great!

01:24  
Blogger Dusty said...

I love what you did w/the place Lazy! We haven't hit midnight yet on the Left Coast..And I am smoking rather than drinking this year.

You have Led Zep AND 8675309 on there together? Dude..your eclectic in your music ;p

01:28  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I'm sorry, but the blue background with those subtle black lines makes my eyes go crossed! Don't you have a nice nautical green or something? Of course it's your blog, but that's my eyeballs' take on it. And no I haven't been drinking--I'm at work right now. I did, however, once wake up curled around a toilet, so I can relate to the guy with the head in the urinal. Oh, those were the days. The hangovers were too much, though.

02:31  
Blogger ponder this said...

at least when i took my boy to the footy for the first time he picked the yellow things in the urinal up with his hands, not his teeth.

...went around to a friends for nye and there was lots of vying for control of the stereo. the surprise winner of the night was bryan adams. that guy has had a lot of hits...i was singing along to songs i didn't even think i knew.

06:05  
Blogger dddragon said...

rabbit rabbit!

09:31  
Blogger AP3 said...

Rabbit, rabbit! Happy New Year! Love the new look. Very nice.

10:33  
Blogger actonbell said...

Rabbit, rabbit, Happy New Year! I awoke with a bit of a headache, but I am getting steadily better. It's disturbing, though, that the headache is easier and easier to achieve as I get older.

I like the background. It has a nice, warm fabric-sort of texture.(I'm dating myself with the tie dye look, I know)

So, is the "Uncle Access Only" quip a reference to the South Park Movie? I feel that I need to ask these questions, because I'm old and out of it in a popular culture sort of way.

I hope you had a good time doing whatever you did last night, and that you're feeling spry this morning:)

10:35  
Blogger actonbell said...

Hi, Aral! Didn't hear you come in.

10:36  
Blogger Doozie said...

the blue is a good start, now lets work on that header.

did you honestly think I wouldn't gripe about something? That's my job. I don't get paid for it though which kinda makes me mad


thanks for being the first to comment on my blog in the new year, I will go ahead and never forget that

13:11  
Anonymous krok39 said...

The Lazy,

Happy New Year.

That blue is very pretty.

Love the fingernail polish prank.

I hope you have a great 2008.

16:15  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Avery - the new background is no ivy covered wall, but it is blue. Blue is where it is at for 2008.

Dusty - smoking huh? Nice. I have to worry about the piss police. They are forever wanting to do detained chemical analysis of my piss, looking for naughty things. I do not want to think about how much tax money was wasted inspecting my piss.

CM - I will look into doing something about that. I need to keep the BG dark, and I like blue - but I can find a new pattern.

Ponder - when you are singing along to songs you do not know it is a sure sign you had enough to drink.

DDD - thank you! You need to stop by more often!

AP3 - New year new look. I think it is a law or something.

Actionbell - I do not remember if the South Park movie was out yet. The 90s kind of blend together. I call it "the lost decade". Too many parties, too many substances.

Doozie - the header rules. This is my little island of wasted bandwidth in a vast sea of internet porn. But I can think up something else.

Krok - The fingernail polish thing is old. Ancient. But it is a classic. Writing on someone's back is also not new, but can be a lot funnier. So can writing on the forehead.

18:14  
Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

Lazy Ig, the background still looks purple to me.

"Uncle access only" creeped me out a little bit. But then, I am from Hell, Missouri.

18:18  
Blogger M@ said...

Thank goodness that's not me anymore. I've woken up in strangers' houses before the next morning.... Ugh.

21:23  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Scarlet - I assure you, the background is in fact blue. Blue as the label on a bottle of Chimay and blue as your last name. Blue as the Pacific Northwest and California and Hawaii. You may need to calibrate your monitor.

M@ - I am pretty good at not getting blotto. I can have a beer or two and resist the urge to start doing tequila shots. Tequila shots usually signify a downhill run. On proper occasions I will do ONE shot. One. But still, you know how it is. Accidents happen, and sometimes I still get trashed. Luckily my friends have survived long enough to know that drunk me needs someone to get my ass somewhere so I do not try to drive.

23:15  
Anonymous Lavender said...

I guess i don't get the uncle part. i'll have to have my husband explain it to me later. he prolly missed this oasis while swimming through the porn. like the blue background. its all texturey and stuff.

01:34  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Lavender - The uncle access thing was just some crude and foul man humor, designed to humiliate a "friend". This is what us guys to when we get drunk, and someone passes out. We get a sheep and a digital camera and take some incriminating looking photos then post them on the internet. It is "funny". You can find many examples by doing a Google image search for "drunk" or "passed out" or "passed out drunk".

02:32  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the great Terrance and Phillip song "Uncle Fucker" from their fabulous art film "Asses of Fire." How could I forget that?

23:52  

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