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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I Have No Idea What Is Going On

They say TV makes us lazy and stupid. Of course, "they" are never wrong. And nobody knows exactly who "they" are. What I actually think is going on is that when YOU want to make some shit up and pass it off as credible, you just attribute whatever you are making up to "them" or "they".

Like this one. They say that beer is good for you! And this one - they say that most car accidents happen when you are in an intersection, so the faster you drive through the intersection the safer you are because the faster you blow through an intersection the less time you spend in it.

And so on. I could go on and on here. "They" say a lot of shit.

But seriously, television is a pretty lazy form of entertainment. You do not have to actively listen to or watch it. Like now for example. The TV is on, but I am typing this post. Am I actively watching the TV? Hell no. It is some "beach patrol" show. Do I need to watch it to know what is going on? Hell no.

So today I bring you some entertainment that requires active listening. A very short radio play. And so now, without further delay, I present to you this very short feature from Radio Theater Of The Mind.

See you had to use your imagination there! Which is probably a good thing.

In other news, I have neglected my playlist. A few songs do not work anymore. Bey hey - for the price I am paying for the playlist thing (NOTHING AT ALL!!!) I can not complain. Anyway here is what does not work as of right now.

Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), Cherry Bomb (Runaways), TV Party (Black Flag), Kill The Poor (Dead Kennedys), Big Yellow Taxi (Counting Crows), Jenny (867-5309) (Tommy Tu Tone), Apeman (The Kinks), Photograph (Def Leppard), Substitute (The Who), Dark Blue (Jack's Mannequin), Patience (Guns N Roses), and My Own Worst Enemy (Lit).

I need to do some playlist maintenance.

This reminds me of my Rolling Stones joke!

What is the difference in The Rolling Stones and The Scottish?

The Rolling Stones say "hey you, get off my cloud" and The Scottish say "Hey McCloud, get off my ewe".

Just a little bestiality humor for you there. I knew you would enjoy it. I would say that you could substitute any nationality in place of "Scottish" but you can't. It just would not work. Not many people in say China named "McCloud" or "McLeod" or however it is spelled. So sadly, this one only works for the Scottish.

I got another pirate joke too. Feel free to steal this one.

What is a pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty.

I am not sure if I have used that one here.


Skipper seems to be OK. He does not even need the soft stinky food. He can eat the dry stuff. Crunches it right up. No problem. So I conclude his mouth is not sore. He has 6 more days of pills to take. He does not like getting pilled. Yes, "pilled" is a valid word. It is a verb and describes the act of giving a pill to a cat. Examples of its use are "I have to pill the cat" or "I pilled the cat and got bit and that is why I have to go to the hospital because there is this pink line going up my arm and it may be blood poisoning".

But anyway, Skipper is much better. No more fish hooks.

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Blogger Dusty said...

If you can crush up the pills, you can put it in some people tuna. Believe me, he will eat it up without a thought.

I 'pill' two cats and two dogs every day. I have learned a few things about that. ;)

I also have to give an insulin shot to the poodle twice a day. that is a real fucking thrill.

Blogger Daisy said...

I am happy to hear that little Skipper is doing so well after his ordeal.

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

Glad to hear Skipper is better.

Blogger Dusty said... have power I take it? Isn't most of South FL in the dark???

Blogger actonbell said...

Beer is good for you.

I'm glad to hear that Skipper is okay. And TLP really did have to go to the emergency room after pilling 3D's late cat Chatham, once. He bit her good.

Is your template a solid blue now, or is my monitor whacky?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Dusty - I have been pilling cats and dogs for years. I am pretty good at it. The secret is to just do it quickly before the critter figures out what the hell is going on.

Daisy - Skipper has already forgot about it all. He is a good little cat.

Scarlet - I am too. I can not afford a massive legendary vet bill.

Dusty - The power loss thing was a pain in the ass. Traffic lights were dark and it took time for the police to respond. My house was out of power because some of the clocks were flashing. What a mess that was.

Actionbell - Animal bites are nasty. Cat bites can and often do result in blood poisoning. The blog background is blue. Mostly anyway. Your monitor is OK.


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