For Your Amusement

First off, in a comment left yesterday I was asked when I added Blotto "I Want To Be A Lifeguard" to the Iguana Music.

The answer is that the first song I added to the list was Blotto. I was testing the Project Playlist thing to see how good it was. Yea it is going to have the stuff people know about. But will they have Blotto? Well it seems that yes, they did. I was impressed so I went on and built a playlist.

Now I would like to share a You Tube video sent to me. It seems one of my Canadian readers has a slight problem. Her cat does not understand the concept of "burying it".



This is not that uncommon. Ill spare you the evidence, but Sake has been known to drop a duce in the bath tub. It is not the best place to drop a duce, but it is better than somewhere else. Like behind something large and heavy where I can not get to it without a major undertaking. It is pretty easy to clean up really. Scoop, dump in the toilet, flush, and then bleach.

Like I said, I will refrain from photos or video of the evidence.

But the cats here do not have the problem Packet seems to have. My cats dig like they are making a sand castle in that thing. I have to get boxes with high sides to keep the litter in the box - otherwise it ends up all over the place.

And Sake only drops a duce in the tub if I allow the boxes to get scary. Keep em scooped and she uses them. If they are ugly and / or scary, she finds someplace else to go.

Someone may be sending me some junk in the mail. How about that? But that is OK - for I have junk to send back. And what will I do with my stuff? If it is cool keep it - otherwise box it up and send it off to someone else.

In fact, this could turn into a fun Blog game. The modern version of the fruit cake. Nobody ever actually eats a fruit cake, if someone sends you one you just send it to someone else! Kind of like that.

Awake

I had almost forgot to post something. You see, most of the time my posts are VERY early in the morning. Or maybe it is very late at night? I guess it depends on how you look at it.

You can tell something about my schedule by the post times. When you see a time a few minutes after midnight, it means I made the post at 10 or 11 PM and then changed the time so that it shows up for the next day. Otherwise, the time is when I started to create the post.

Sometimes the post time is in the afternoon. This happens when for whatever reason I do not post before 4 AM. In this case the next day I have either nothing to do, or something to do. If there is nothing to do I sleep late. REALLY late. If there is something to do, then I get up and do it. Either way, I post in the mid to late afternoon.

So what does all this bullshit have to do with anything? Well today I WAS sleeping. And I had not posted. So the little gray kitten decided to warn me by attacking my face. Little kitten teeth chomping on your nose is the best alarm clock ever. There is no snooze button. You push the cat away and 20 seconds later he is back.

So I am up now. I might as well turn on the TV and get a beer now. Cause at this point I had about 5 hours of sleep. I will probably not get right back to sleep. Not with Skipper here thinking that is play time and human body parts are toys. Knowing me, and not having anything of major importance to do today, I will probably go back to sleep in an hour or two. Lets say I go back to sleep at 6 AM. I will not get back up till 2 PM.

Right back to a night schedule. If I had something to do then I could just set the cell phone alarm clock and be done with it. But if I know I have nothing to do, then I just turn off the alarm. You can not fool yourself. If I had something to do then no problem. The alarm would go off and I would wake up and say many foul words and then go off to do whatever it is that I have to do. But I don't.

Barry is gone. It hit Tampa Bay. This is south of the center line from the map yesterday. My prediction that the cone would shift south and that landfall would not be that far north was correct. The storm was weak, making landfall as a tropical storm but quickly going to a tropical depression. Parts of the State that was very dry got rain. More rain is needed however. A lot more rain. The big lake water level only went up .01 feet, but this figure will increase as drainage from the rains makes its way south to the lake.

Next week the winds will go away (FINALLY) and the seas will be calm again. So I can try to go fishing for some of them dolphin. But I will probably not catch any of the bastards. One of these days I will, but it will not be due to any kind of fishing skill.

I also found the rail mounts for the new boat BBQ grill. So I am all set for summer boat season. No more cold cut sandwiches or having to find a dockside restaurant for lunch! Now I can cook my own cheeseburger. Or whatever.

Cats, Power, Homeland Security, Beer, The Hazards Of Recycling

In this post I will tie three totally unrelated things together, using magic and skill.

The other night I was hanging out here, watching 21 Grams. No big deal. Then the phone rings. The number was all strange and crap. As it turns out, it was one of my operatives calling from Europe to give a spy report.

So we were talking - because I was not paying for the call, and there were many topics. But one topic that was discussed in depth was US Customs regulations, TSA security, and international flights. The overseas operative wants to bring back....LIQUIDS! Yes, liquids. This used to be no big deal - who goes to France and does NOT bring back French Wine? Who goes to Italy and does not bring back Italian Wine? Who goes to Belgium and does not bring back beer? Nobody, thats who. And if you do, you are weird.

But now, thanks to some ASSHOLES in the UK who plotted to blow up a transatlantic flight leaving LHR airport liquids are a big deal. Can the spy carry them on the aircraft? Do the liquids have to be checked? If they are checked, will the routine drop kick from the luggage chuckers break the bottle?

I have to find out. And during the conversation I went over, again, why this stuff is a big deal. So I start to mention things like "binary explosive compounds" and "bomb" and "flight" and "airport" and "terrorist" and "IED" and "ka-boom" and "Bush is a friggin idiot" and all sorts of other things.

DURING an overseas phone call. At some point it occurred to me that it was an overseas call. You know, the kind that The Decider decided it was cool to spy on. I think it was part of one of the Patriot Acts or something. So if I did not mention one (or all) the keywords that cause the recording device to click on and the calls to be traced - then the program is over.

So....SORRY DHS! I forgot it was not a domestic call. Trust me here, my plans are strictly limited to how I can get beer cider from over there to over here. Really! Scan this blog, if you have not already. You will see about 10,000 mentions of beer. My story checks out. Plus I am in your system anyway. You guys have issued me something like 4 IDs now. Give or take. I just want the cider. My overseas operative is kind enough to try to remember to get me some, and I want to make sure they know the procedure. I do not want my stuff to be confiscated at the airport over there. Oh yea and my operative already knows about declaring EVERYTHING on the blue form! Smuggling = BAD! Now if someone had just told that to Colomba Bush....

Anyway enough about Homeland Security and beer! Now onto the hazards of recycling and cats!

This is a hazard of recycling. You see, Sunday night I was taking the blue trash can out to the curb. I put all the glass, metal, and plastic in the blue can. Anyway I hear this noise. It sounded like a kitten meowing across the street. So I go over to investigate, thinking that the meowing is coming from the other side of a fence. Well it was not. The little cat decided I was a tree and started to climb up the leg of my jeans. So I take it home. The other cats HATE the kitten. And I do not need another cat. So now I have to find a home to the thing. But he is still little and cute so the chances are good that someone will take him. I hope.

The little guy is 4 or 5 weeks old by my best estimation. 6 weeks at the oldest. Barely weaned from the mama cat. He likes to climb up on your shoulder and sleep. Or stand there and meow in your ear. Fred, Gigi, Cleo, and Sake all hate him and wish he would go away. I had to hold him still because he would not sit still so I could take his photo. Notice the little bit of white on his paws. Other than that little bit of white, the cat is all gray. The $5 is for scale. The cat is little.

Now for some exciting news!

This is a Glacier Bay power cat! The best of all power boats. This is a photo of a 2007 model. As you can see, this is a split hull boat. Meaning that even standing still, most of the boat is out of the water.

This is a US Navy power cat. As you can see, most of the hull is out of the water. The Glacier Bay is the same way, only much MUCH smaller. But you can see the design clearly here.

The advantages of a power cat are many. First off, you can push a larger boat with less power. This means you can get away with smaller engines. This means LESS FUEL is used. Also the ride is super stable. A power cat can take rougher water than a mono hull. They slice through waves, mono hull boats plow through waves.

I found a 1996 Glacier Bay 22 footer for sale in the Keys. I will go look at it if the guy calls me back. It is a 22 footer, and is powered by twin 90 HP outboards. Twin 90s! In a 22 foot boat! Underpowered? Nope! In fact for the 1996 models the maximum rating is 180 horsepower. So twin 90s are what they all run with. The 2007 models can take optional twin 115 HP engines, but the twin 90s will push it just fine. The engines are made by Yamaha, and Yamaha makes what could possibly be the best marine outboard engines on the market.

By comparison my 18 foot mono hull has a 150 hp engine on it. The larger and heavier cat with only 30 more hp will outrun my 18 footer in all but the calmest water. In glass calm water the 18 footer MAY be able to run a little faster. Maybe.

Another great thing about the power cat design is that the outboards are FAR from each other. With a traditional V or semi-V hull if you hang twins off the back they are right next to each other.

Why do you want the engines apart? So the props are apart. You see, the further apart the props are the better that can work against each other. If I put the port engine in forward idle, and the starboard engine in reverse idle, the boat will turn around in its own length. Using the engines with and against each other I can learn how to do some neat stuff. Like "walk" the boat sideways.

Oh yea, also this boat has a toilet. The current boat has a "piss off the side" style toilet. Most small center console boats hide the toilet in the center console, which is cramped and hard to get in and out of. The Glacier Bay puts the shitter off to the port side. You step down into the part of the hull in contact with the water. The result? A MUCH nicer crapper. Easy to get in and out of.

Cleo Update

The new cat seems to be feeling a lot better. She is starting to act like a cat now. You know, running away from people when it is pill time, just looking at you like you are some kind of asshole when you call her, getting right in your face to meow loudly when she wants you to get up and feed her, and so on.

So that is good. Some people would say that the running away and looking at you like you are an asshole thing is bad. But lets face some facts here. Cleo is a cat, and cats are just like that. when they want to hang out with you, they do. When they want to do something else, they run off.

In other news, I went to a high end mall to scarf some food at the TGI Fridays. While there I decided to go crash a few stores and see what good stuff they had.

Now I have an el-cheapo stove top espresso maker thing. You have to unscrew the base, fill it with water, fill this funnel like thing with ground espresso, stick the funnel thing back into the base, screw the contraption together, then place the whole thing on the stove. The water in the base boils and is forced up the stem of the funnel to the coffee. From there it continues to be forced up another stem and into the upper portion of the thing. When the thing stops steaming the coffee is done.

It makes decent espresso - but it lacks foam. When you get the stuff at the local Cuban place, the coffee has foam. So I want foam at home too!!!

Anyway, at one store they had some espresso makers. So I find one that looked cool. All stainless steel and crap. It has a high pressure pump thing and a frothing attachment for making cafe con leche and everything.

$2400. For a COFFEE MACHINE!!! Are they totally insane? All it does is make coffee! I can get coffee at any Cuban place for around a buck. So if you buy a $2400 coffee machine, plus 7% sales tax that is $2,675 - that works out to 7.32 YEARS of buying a coffee every day at any Cuban place. And that assumes that you can get the coffee beans / grounds for free!

Finding a Cuban place in Miami is about as challenging as finding sand in the Sahara Desert. Or finding water in the Great Lakes.

Are people really that crazy? It seems so. So I found another machine that is only $300. It is still a lot for something that only makes coffee - but lets face it. Espresso machines are not cheap. They make cheap ones, but I am afraid they will not last. Automatic drip "gringo" coffee is a LOT more simple to make. For that a cheap machine will work fine. But espresso is made under pressure. Cheap pressure pumps break. So yea, avoid the $60 machine.

But I think that spending $2500 on a coffee machine is obscene.

However there are things that it is OK to spend 2 1/2 large on. The next laptop computer I am going to get will be a MacBook Pro. With the 2.33 Ghz dual core processor, 2 gigs of memory, 120 gig hard drive, and some sort of fancy graphics card with 256 megs video memory. It will cost me about as much as a fancy high end coffee machine would cost.

Or maybe Ill just go back to the stone age and get a desktop Mac. It will be cheaper, but not nearly as portable.