Tech Support, Outsourcing. Collars.

On Avery's blog she had a post about tech support. So that got me to thinking. What if a foul mouthed squirrel had a problem with a Smell brand computer using a Wind-ows operating system and called tech support? I bet it would go something like this.

Foamy is great. This is actually only part 1 of 4. If there is enough popular demand then I will post the other 3 in the series.

And alert commenter Holly mentioned something about a Wal-Mart employee stuck in some lost decade, with no clue about how to wear a shirt. So I found this.

Indeed. Stop being a fag and fix your collar. I find myself thinking this at least once every.....well once every never. I have never noticed the fashion tendencies of other dudes. Now other people have. I sometimes get crap from people about my Crocs because they "look gay" and a real man would "never be seen in them".

Really now? And what makes YOU such an expert in gay shoes? Do you subscribe to Gay Shoes Weekly or something? I know how important it may be for you to keep track on all the latest gay trends and all. It would just be horrible if you arrived at the all dudes party wearing last weeks shoes!

So thank you for noticing my shoes. I am glad you are looking at my feet and not my ass. But hey whatever turns you on!

Seriously, men who notice what other men are wearing and then accuse other people of wearing "gay things" need to seriously explore their own sexuality. And leave the rest of humanity alone.

I would not notice some dude wearing an elf costume walking down the street in July. Well I will take that back. I probably would notice. But that is because really crazy people scare me. ANYONE wearing an elf costume in July in South Florida has to have some screws loose. MAJOR screws loose. I would notice the person for my own personal safety, so I could give them a very wide berth. NO EYE CONTACT!!! Just pretend that I want to cross the street here....walk on by....then go back to the side of the street I wanted to be on in the first place. THERE! Problem solved!

And yes, I happen to own a pink dress shirt. It looks sharp with my black suit, back when I used to have to wear a suit to work. You know you have it made when you wear a suit to work. Like you are going to do real work. Hardly. I define real work as force times distance. So pushing something heavy a long distance is work. Ever see a guy in a suit pushing heavy objects any distance? Me either. Now roofing - that is real work! Shoveling elephant shit is real work. Carrying large amounts of stuff around a construction site is real work.

And not once have I ever seen a guy in a suit doing any of those things.

But anyway, back to my pink shirt. If you are a dude and you notice it and you feel like making a comment about it.....well I hate to tell you this but you may need to fix your collar.

DSL Is Broken

You may notice today's post is late. Well the DSL is broken. So I had to relocate to my favorite FREE wireless hotspot in the whole entire cosmos - Titanic Bar and Grill. They make their own beer. So there may be typos. And cursing. And shit like that. You see, it is impossible to come to this place and not have a beer or five. Or two. Or sometimes only one. But I have some beer OCD - I like to drink even numbers. Two, four, six, and so on. Rarely one, three, five, seven, and so on. Even numbers!

So I had to do battle with the Bellsouth DSL people today. Did I ever mention I hate tech support? I know what the problem is OK - so stop asking me stupid questions that do not relate to anything. Like "how many computers do you have connected"? Who cares! It is none of your business OK? Maybe I have 10,000 computers connected all calculating Pi to as many decimal places as possible. What does it matter how many computers I have - I said "my DSL connection is not working" not "my computer is broken".

So after 20 minutes on the phone and 50 stupid questions they figured that the DSL modem was broken and that I should order a new one from them for $75. YEA RIGHT! I got connections. I got the first DSL modem / router for free - what makes them think I am going to pay for another one?

So I called my hookup and was told that he would try to get a minion in Miami to drop off a new modem, or he will ship me one from parts unknown. In the meantime I will buy one from Best Buy or CompUSA. I can return that one once the free one arrives.

New Iguana Music! Click the play button thing to your right. And then pass it on the left hand side. And don't bogart!