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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Tech Support, Outsourcing. Collars.

On Avery's blog she had a post about tech support. So that got me to thinking. What if a foul mouthed squirrel had a problem with a Smell brand computer using a Wind-ows operating system and called tech support? I bet it would go something like this.

Foamy is great. This is actually only part 1 of 4. If there is enough popular demand then I will post the other 3 in the series.

And alert commenter Holly mentioned something about a Wal-Mart employee stuck in some lost decade, with no clue about how to wear a shirt. So I found this.

Indeed. Stop being a fag and fix your collar. I find myself thinking this at least once every.....well once every never. I have never noticed the fashion tendencies of other dudes. Now other people have. I sometimes get crap from people about my Crocs because they "look gay" and a real man would "never be seen in them".

Really now? And what makes YOU such an expert in gay shoes? Do you subscribe to Gay Shoes Weekly or something? I know how important it may be for you to keep track on all the latest gay trends and all. It would just be horrible if you arrived at the all dudes party wearing last weeks shoes!

So thank you for noticing my shoes. I am glad you are looking at my feet and not my ass. But hey whatever turns you on!

Seriously, men who notice what other men are wearing and then accuse other people of wearing "gay things" need to seriously explore their own sexuality. And leave the rest of humanity alone.

I would not notice some dude wearing an elf costume walking down the street in July. Well I will take that back. I probably would notice. But that is because really crazy people scare me. ANYONE wearing an elf costume in July in South Florida has to have some screws loose. MAJOR screws loose. I would notice the person for my own personal safety, so I could give them a very wide berth. NO EYE CONTACT!!! Just pretend that I want to cross the street here....walk on by....then go back to the side of the street I wanted to be on in the first place. THERE! Problem solved!

And yes, I happen to own a pink dress shirt. It looks sharp with my black suit, back when I used to have to wear a suit to work. You know you have it made when you wear a suit to work. Like you are going to do real work. Hardly. I define real work as force times distance. So pushing something heavy a long distance is work. Ever see a guy in a suit pushing heavy objects any distance? Me either. Now roofing - that is real work! Shoveling elephant shit is real work. Carrying large amounts of stuff around a construction site is real work.

And not once have I ever seen a guy in a suit doing any of those things.

But anyway, back to my pink shirt. If you are a dude and you notice it and you feel like making a comment about it.....well I hate to tell you this but you may need to fix your collar.

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Blogger Avery Gray said...

Oh, man! That Foamy. He tells it like it is. Gotta love that in a squirrel!

I must admit that I like a man secure enough to wear Crocs. Won't ever find him attractive, but I admire his guts.

Blogger Daisy said...

I have a polo shirt in my wardrobe; I do not like the collar-up look either. It bothers my neck.

Blogger Lilacspecs said...

I'm demanding more Foamy the Squirrel. Granted, I'm not that popular, but I hope my vote still counts.

Blogger Fuzz said...

I thought Fairies Wear Boots.

Blogger M@ said...

1. Crocs are awesome and I love them. We like them b/c we enjoy BOATING. The president also wears Crocs. Is HE not the world's alpha male? They're great!

2. The video is often. I hate it when they have me restart my machine and go through all of this shit I already did.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Avery - Foamy is awesome and will be making more guest appearances here. We all think the same thing Foamy thinks, we just never say it. Because we are not angry squirrels. Get your husband Crocs - they are THE BEST boat shoes ever invented. Hands down, no question about it. The best.

Daisy - I find it amazing you will wear anything at all. Once many years ago my mom wanted to put a Santa hat on a cat and take a picture. It became a two person mission. In the photo the cat looks pissed, and I was bleeding (but not in the photo because blood should never be in a Christmas photo).

Lilac - OK! More Foamy! Awesome! Keep checking back and Foamy may be here to give you some driving tips.

Fuzz - Tell that to members of the US Coast Guard who all wear boots! Better yet - don't. Fairies wear fairy boots - which look a lot like elf shoes. I guess. I am really not an expert in what men wear on their feet except if said foot wear is on my foot.

M@ - Crocs are awesome. I keep telling other boating friends that they should also buy some Crocs but nobody listens to me. I have a photo of Bush wearing Crocs - WITH SOCKS - around there someplace. Foamy is great. Tech support sucks. Last time I called them it was because my ADSL was out. They had me restart the computer. DUMBASS! The problem is with the HIGH SPEED CONNECTION not the computer!

Blogger Fuzz said...

I'm wearing boots right now. But I don't think I'm a Fairy.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fuzz - I was wearing my fiberglass toe boots all day too. Now there are some manly shoes! Even if chicks wear them too. See they are actually the same boots worn by members of the US Coast Guard when they are required to wear boots with their uniform. So men and chicks wear the same boots.

But they are nice boots. I really like them. I want to get another pair.


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