Assholes on parade (and more boobies)

First, click HERE for the boobies. If you are under 18 (mentally or physically) do not click HERE. Click somewhere else (but watch out for Bert and Ernie - they are twinks)

OK, now that is out of the way and you have rubbed yourself raw I can get on with the REAL good stuff. Assholes on parade.

I blame the public at large for the hostile takeover of America by assholes. Yes - it is YOUR fault. This is what happens when you would rather keep your big fat ass on the couch watching gay shit than keep up with what is going on around you. And yes, football IS GAY. Think about it, a bunch of MEN wearing SPANDAX pants playing with BALLS and slapping each other on the ASS after they SCORE. Sounds gay as a five way circle jerk with Richard Simmons as the pivot man to me.

First, I call your attention to story 1. In Texas, it is now against the law for cheerleaders to "shake it" during routines. The Texas Senate has not voted on the bill yet, but you can bet they will pass it. Now I do not know what kind of sluts the good redneck Christian people of Texas have raised, but for the state to pass a law against cheerleading the sluttiness factor must be high. Or maybe the Texas lawmakers are sex crazed maniacs, who want to fuck anything they see in a cheerleader uniform. The law does not define what "shaking it" is, it just gives the state power to punish schools if they find cheers offensive. So now we have the cheer police! GREAT! Just what we need to keep us safe! And with no clear definition of what a "suggestive cheer" is, ANYTHING could be deemed offensive. So what are schools supposed to do? Here is my suggestion that will make the Christian Taliban in Texas happy.

1. Change cheerleader uniforms to burkas
2. NO DANCING! Dancing leads to body parts moving! It is disgusting
3. NO CHEERING! Cheering might lead to an accidental jump which might cause body parts to jiggle.
4. ONLY CHURCH MUSIC! No more marching bands. Equip all football fields with a pipe organ.

Now onto the next item. In Michigan, a marching band was told not to play "Louie Louie" during a parade. That's right, some ass clown superintendent told a Middle School band not to play "Louie Louie". Why? Because it has "suggestive lyrics" HUH?!?!?! We are talking about a BAND here, nobody was going to sing anything. Also, most people do not know this but the FBI wasted two years investigating the song. They interviewed teenagers who claimed to know the lyrics, they collected letters from concerned parents, they played the song forwards and backwards at different speeds - and concluded what we all know. The song in unintelligible at any speed. This was in the 1960s. But now, after 40 years AND an exhaustive investigation by the FBI, some ass clown dumb shit is still making a fuss over it.

Wake up people. You need to STOP THE INSANITY and start telling these assholes to cut the shit. If you (YES YOU) keep letting the asshole parade continue everything fun will be illegal, and the church police will arrest anyone who does not report to church every Sunday.