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Sunday, June 05, 2005

Being Green

Today’s lesson comes from my iguana. His name is Greenie. Yea, I know – not very creative.

Anyway, Kermit The Frog once said “It is not easy being green”. In fact, he made a song about it. Greenie The Iguana disagrees. And Kermit is not the only one with a song! Click on this line to hear a song by The Dead Milkmen about Greenie. The file is about 2 megs.

It IS easy being green. Every day, some idiot brings Greenie assorted fresh fruits and vegetables. The iguana gets things like fresh mango, bananas, grapes (red AND white seedless), yellow squash, zucchini, carrots, hibiscus flowers, apples, pears, and even strawberries. The food offerings are sprinkled with special lizard dietary supplement powder, packed with extra vitamins and calcium. The idiot even buys the lizard organic vegetables. Does the idiot eat organic vegetables?!? Hell no – he can not afford to. That stuff is expensive! Does the idiot take any vitamin supplements? Hell no, he spends all his vitamin money on beer and gas for the boat. Also, the idiot thinks that if the rabbit eats the veggies, and he eats the rabbit – it is like he is eating the veggies through a food chain middle man. So the idiot will probably get clogged arteries some day. He is really not that smart.

So Kermit – you are WRONG! It is very easy being green!

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go see the cardiologist. My left arm is tingling and there is a feeling of tightness in my chest.

And for a good laugh, check out this video someone made from another Dead Milkmen song. Click here, then click "watch this movie".

Big Lizard In My Bathtub...Can't afford to feed it anymore. Posted by Hello


Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

An animal menagerie! Any dogs or other creatures with you?

Blogger GodlessMom said...

He is beautiful! Do you have to trim his nails?

Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

He is pretty cool looking. Organic Vegies!!! He's spoiled rotten. He does have a good life.

Blogger actonbell said...

Hokiesmokes, he's HUGE! And that's funny about the organic stuff, haha. Do the cats and the Iguana ignore each other?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

The cats are terrified of the iguana. And for good reason, the iguana could do enough damage to the cats to require a trip to the vet.

And no, I can not trim the iguana's nails. He objects strongly to this. He will claw you up if you try to handle him.

Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

On your post about your upcoming trip, I called YOU a lucky lizard. But now that I read this post, it's clear that the Iguana is the real lucky lizard.

Blogger Sarah Jo said...

Animals have the life. I mean, wouldnt be great to live a life of leisure while someone else cleaned up your, uh, anyway, and fed, bathed, and spoiled you rotten? Dogs arent mans best friend, man is dogs best friend.

Blogger jevanking™ said...

I'm glad I finally was able to come over and read your blog. Thank you for the comments. You are now in my favorites.

Anonymous Body care said...

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