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Sunday, June 19, 2005

Interview With An Iguana

Thanks to dddragon for these interview questions. If you want some of your
own, just go to her blog and ask for them. Go to my links section and click
"Is Anything Truly Random". Or click it right here. Whatever floats your boat.

1. A TV Show is cast about your life. List five characters and who would
play them.

First of all, it would be a dull show. But I suppose that I could be played by the guy who is Eric on That 70s Show. My good friend of 15 years could be played by the guy who is Hyde on That 70s Show. I really do not know who could play the other people. I would have to watch more TV shows and think about it.

2. What are the worst books assigned for you to read in High School.

This is a much more easy question. Without a doubt, the single WORST BOOK I had to read (but never did even get a copy of) was The President's Lady. It was a fictional story of Andrew Jackson and his wife Rachel written from Rachel's point of view. It was supposed to be historical fiction, but the only history was that there actually was a guy named Andrew Jackson who was president. The rest was pure swill. The book was so bad, that the teacher cancelled the reading, and then she had us read Black Rain. I laughed at everyone who scoured bookstores (there was no in 1990) looking for that crappy book. I had decided to just take the F.

3. If money were no object and you could have 5 homes, where would they

I suppose I would get one home right here in Miami - but on a waterway. The waterway would have to be deep enough for boat traffic, and connected directly to the bay. And there would have to be a boat lift on the seawall. I would also have a home in The Virgin Islands. Same deal, on a waterway. Home number three would be in Europe. Probably in Amsterdam, on a canal. Home four would be in Prague, Czech Republic. Preferably on a river. Or at least with a view of a river. Home 5 would be on The Black Sea in a costal town of Bulgaria. Why Bulgaria? I don't know. It would be close to my home in Prague. And I would cheat by having a 6th home, one with a twin hull, a 50 foot pole (at least), and some sails. It would be cool to cruise the Black Sea into Russia, or to sail through Asia Minor and into the Mediterranean.

4. What would be the one thing you would change about yourself, and what
would be the one thing that you would not change about yourself?

I would change my inability to put up with crap. I would not change to the point that I would put up with any crap, but I would like to be able to put up with just a little more crap than I can deal with now. It would lower stress level, and probably help me keep a job for longer. I would NOT change my ability to stick to what I think is the right thing to do. This sometimes gets me in trouble, like when the boss asks me what I think about operations and I tell him things he does not want to hear. But such is life.

5. A well-meaning relative sends you a fruit cake for the holidays. What
would you do with it?

I would re-gift it. I do not know anyone who eats that stuff. I have a theory that there are only a dozen or so fruit cakes on the planet, and that people simply circulate them around. Kind of like a chain letter, only they do not reproduce. So when I get them I send them off to someone else. I am careful not to return it to the sender. It is an inside joke with some people I know. They know I am re-gifting the thing, and they know that I know they will send it off to someone else.

Thanks for the questions dddragon!


Blogger Tom & Icy said...

Hey, when does the Iguana get his own blog like I do. I've got two and I do guest appearances on the Alien Guy! I don't want to give away my secret about the Devil.
Do Iguanas have their own religion?

Blogger GodlessMom said...

If there are only a dozen fruitcakes on the planet, I've got the entire world's supply in my attic. I'm waiting until next holiday season to re-gift. Hopefully they won't mold before then!

Blogger dddragon said...

Fruitcakes never get moldy - it's part of their magic.

Great answers. Soooo, you like the water, eh? lol.

And it's heeelaireous that a teacher would actually assign a book and then cancel it. How did she come to even decide to have you guys read it?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

In my 11th grade year, my honors english teacherr teamed up with the honors U.S. history teacher. The main reason was for the research paper (one paper for two classes). We had to write the paper on a historical figure.

So when books had to be assigned, my english teacher decided to look for books that contained some history. Somehow, the teacher found The President's Lady. It was terrible.

Black Rain was a better book. It was not a fictional account, written by some Japanese dude who survived the nuking of Hiroshima. Not exactly American Lit (11th grade engligh was American Lit, 12th grade was British Lit), but a much better book.

Blogger Fred said...

I've done #5 countless times. I think there's only one fruit cake in the world that simply gets passed on and on and on and....


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