Leave me ALONE!
I feel another top 10 list coming on! Any second now! Oh wait, it passed. Nevermind.
FALSE ALARM! It's back! Get ready for the list of..............
Lazy Iguana's top 10 list of reasons why having a place ALL to yourself rules.
10. Walking around nude in the kitchen (DO NOT TRY TO FRY BACON!!!!)
9. Watching TV bare ass naked.
8. No need to wrap a towel around yourself when you get out of the shower.
7. No need to close the bathroom door. EVER!
6. If all you do is pee, flushing is optional. This saves a lot of water.
5. You can watch TV while you use the toilet, because you can leave the bathroom door open.
4. Nobody to bitch about you leaving your dirty laundry on the kitchen floor.
3. When you get home from work, you can toss your pants right in the washer and nobody bitches that it stays there for a week before you actually turn the machine on.
2. Nobody to bitch about how your socks have been in the drier for a week.
1. You can drink beer and eat cold pizza at 3 AM while listening to Pink Floyd in your boxer shorts, toss your shoes anyplace, leave your socks in two different rooms, and generally be a total slob - and NOBODY BITCHES!!!!!!
posted by The Lazy Iguana @ 02:37
11 Comments:
And no one to complain about your menagerie. Hey, the tiki hats look great on Soapy and JC!
the devil is right :)))
All excellent reasons!
I'm a big fan of home nudity too and I was lucky enough to marry someone who feels the same way. Our house is pretty much a clothing optional place.
If you can find the right partner to join you for #1; that truly is a blessed union.
FILTH!!!! And I did NOT appreciate your Tiki hat suggestion!
You forgot:
1.Drinking milk or coke directly from the carton.
2.Only make the bed if you feel like it.
3.Use the laundry basket as if it were your dresser. Also, use the top of the dresser, not the drawers.
4.Leave the TV tray up ALL the time. Never use the dining room table. Except for laundry or papers.
5.Leave all the dishes in the sink until you've run out of things to eat on. And then buy paper products.
6.Only do laundry when you've run out of underwear (and don't feel like buying more).
dddragon and Lazy Iquana: both great lists.
If I lived alone, I would:
1. Never cook anything.
2. Eat at the sink so that the crumbs fall into it.
3. Mostly eat out in order not to make any messes.
4. Sleep on top of the covers so that the bed is always made.
5. Everything would be in its proper place ALL the time.
6. Take off my shoes at the door.
7. Make visitors take off their shoes at the door.
8. Keep the house as hot or cold as I like.
9. Get rid of cable tv.
10. Stop all magazine subscriptions.
hey,
I was wondering if you had heard about this :
http://www.downingstreetmemo.com
thought you might find it interesting.
Yeah. I was a slob when I lived alone. Now I'm the neat one in my house (which isn't saying much).
This is a man's perspective! Love how these reasons center around the body, nudity and pissing alone...Oh, la la!
Tan Lucy actually ALREADY makes some people remove their shoes upon arrival - at Xmas we are greeted with new footsie things to put on.
Come on, everything IS in its place. Unless dad has just come thru ...
And I've seen you eat over the sink.
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