Over The Hedge

Words can not even begin to express how I excited I am about this. It is a DONE DEAL. This post is in serious need of a THEME SONG.

My ass is going to OLD MEXICO. By the way, it is pronounced "Mehico" or Me (short e) hi (short i) co (hard C long O).

Yes, it is a done deal. Im stoked. Yo bebo MUCHO tequila. Super mucho. Grande super legendary mucho. I am going to climb the steps to the mayan Pyramid Of The Sun. I *AM* going to do this. This is not a threat, so much as a promise.

By the way, the verb "Beber" means "to drink". Beber is a regular verb. What this means is that "I drink" translates to "Yo bebo". You (informal) drink translates to "Tu bebas". You (formal) translates to "Usted beba". So "Bebo mucho tequila" means "I drink an ass load of tequila".

By the way, "we drink tequila" is " nosotros bebemos tequila" en espanol. But the "nosotros" is optional, it is OK to simply say "bebemos tequila". It means the same thing. Spanish is a fucked up language. Words have gender.

At any rate, I am going to Mexico and you are not. I am going to see mayan ruins, and you are not. I bought an ocean view cabin for DOS (two). I might also have to buy airfare for one from Charlotte North Carolina to Miami.

But what the hell! The point is I get to go to MEXICO!!!!! I get to see mayan ruins!!!!! I get to get on a big ass boat and experience the open sea.

ARRGGGG! Ye scurvy bilge rats not be knowing the call of the sea! The sea, she be a harsh mistress!!! Aye, but I be havin me SEA LEGS! Ill see all the Lilly livered scurvy dogs keel hauled once the jolly Roger be hoisted up the jib!!!

I have secured passage for two to Calico Mexico. I have already told Ericka that this is no longer an option - her ass IS going no matter what. If that means airfare, I will fly her ass to Miami International and then catch a cab to the ship. I can park at the airport for gatris (free) because I have a parking permit!!!. Backing out is not an option. I can afford to fly to North Carolina, tie her ass up, and smuggle her to Miami. Ill say I am a US Marshall and she is a criminal. Nobody will question me. I know airport security. I used to work for TSA!

But I will not need to kidnap Ericka. She has already indicated that she wants to go. And this is great - because come hell or high water I want to go! And I would rather go with someone than go solo.

Here is the deal.

I leave the Port Of Miami on the Carnival "Imagination" on Thursday August 24. I arrive at Key West Florida on Friday. Saturday I am in Calico Mexico. Sunday I am at sea all day. Monday I arrive back at Miami. Tuesday I am back at work.

This is going to kick major ass.