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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

You Sir, Deserve A Pimp Slap!

This is a video of the Taiwan Parliament. Over there, political debates are often heated. Sometimes TOO heated. So every now and then a brawl breaks out.

A real brawl. With real fists and hair pulling and eye glasses flying all over the place. Tie vote? FIST FIGHT! The side with the last person standing gets to cast the tie breaking vote. I wonder what all those signs say. My guess is "Round 1" or "(party name) for kicking the ass of (opposing party)". Maybe they need to ban signs from Parliament.

I think this is the element that USA politics is missing. A good old fashioned fist fight. One is long overdue. I know the revisionist out there are always trying to make it sound like the USA is this perfect nation founded on high ideals and grand principles, but the fact is that at one time the USA was the world's best place to get your eye gouged out. Or to be killed in a duel. Or get stabbed by someone wearing a raccoon skin hat.Or maybe just get into a massive bar fight.

It is the British that were all civilized with their tea time and funny sounding curse words.

So I am sure that the hallowed halls of Congress have seen fist fights before. The White House too. I mean it HAD TO have happened. Back before the invention of TV and the film camera - what was to stop a law maker from getting shit faced and kicking someone's ass? Even a President. It is said that President Grant - the dude on the $50 bill - was a known drunk. Long before Bush Number 1 puked on the Prime Minister of Japan Grant was puking on everyone. But without CNN to show the video nobody knew about it. And even if they did - EVERYONE was a drunk back then! Drinking water was dangerous because bacteria that could make you sick or even dead lived in that water. Whiskey on the other hand was bacteria free. So was beer. Wine was for those wussies in more civilized nations - Americans were into Rye Whiskey, Burbon, and beer.

So get with it Congress! We the people demand a knock down drag out bar room fight in Congress. And we want to see it on CSPAN. Why should Taiwan television viewers get all the fun?

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5 Comments:

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

I think you are forgetting about a certain fight between a Vice President and a former Secretary of the Treasury which ended up with the latter one dead. I am of course speaking about the dual between Burr and Hamilton.

07:54  
Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

Fist fights really are the best way to resolve differences.

I just think in the U.S. the politicians would be packed. There would be a lot of blood shed.

19:32  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

No comment love for the Taiwanese.

02:46  
Blogger Badoozie said...

sometimes violence solves something, or everything

17:16  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Hey-ull yeah! I want to see John Kerry put the smackdown on Orrin Hatch!

04:27  

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