Discovery

So an interesting thing happened Saturday. Because I am insane and have nothing else better to do with my time I volunteered to join the United States Coast Guard Auxiliary. Auxiliary means I am a civilian volunteer, not active duty. I can get a bunch of boat training and stuff out of the deal.

Anyway, the Auxiliary has a primary mission of getting the word out so to speak. We conduct boating safety classes for the public, so that people can be told in a classroom sitting that they need to have day and night emergency signal devices and things like how to read a marine chart. We also go to marinas and give free boat safety inspections. If the boat has everything the law requires, then they get this cool sticker that says "this boat has all the crap it needs". The real Coast Guard and other law enforcement agencies know what the sticker is, and have some respect for it. So if they stop you on the water and they see the sticker, they may not ask to see all the crap again. They know you have it.

So that is what I was doing today. Giving boat inspections. 4 out of 5 boats I inspected failed. But now the people know what they are missing and have a chance to get the equipment before they get stopped OR have a problem on the water and need something they do not have. Like flares or a fire extinguisher or something.

After we were done for the day, an old retired member of the flotilla said he was going to Jimbo's for a beer and did I want to come. Well let me think about that. Uhhhh....yea why the hell not! but where is this Jimbo's place? I had no idea.

Jimbo's is a place like NO OTHER! It is not a bar, but you can get beer and soda there. It is not a restaurant, but you can get smoked fish. It is a bait shack where you can buy live shrimp. Jimbo runs a small fleet of shrimp boats. It is also the only place I know of in Florida that has not one but TWO Bocce Ball courts. Jimbo build the courts himself.

Here is the place on a map.

Click the map for a larger view. It is not easy to find. There are no signs on the road pointing the place out. This is a pure word of mouth place. It is on Virginia Key, right next to....uhhh...OK it is right next to the main sewage treatment plant for Dade County. Virginia Key is where the black beach was back in the not so long ago days of segregation. The area of Virginia Beach closed down after segregation was ended, and was pretty much left alone - undeveloped. Back then there was no mad frantic land grabs - there was plenty of open space. So why bother with the old "black beach" and sewage treatment plant? As a result, the area is as it was. All mangroves and wetlands. And Jimbo's.

Jimbo used to keep his shrimp boats by where the Miami Herald building is now - PRIME water front property. But the boats stank like a shrimp boat and the city wanted to hand the property over to the newspaper. The Herald needed waterfront property with a deep channel to bring in barge that carried the blank newsprint. Government Cut, where the cruise ships are today - was the perfect place.

But Jimbo and his stinky nasty shrimp boats had to go. The problem was he had a perfectly legal claim to the area under maritime law. So the City Of Miami cut the man a deal - move to Virginia Key and he could have the land for as long as he lived. Well all his boats needed was a harbor - and the small lagoon was actually a better place to moor a boat than a seawall (the lagoon is well protected from wind). So he moved.

That was in the 1960s. Jimbo is still alive and well today, and the place is still his. The City wants the property back - but the old man told the City Commission to "go fuck themselves". They moved him from his original location to a place nobody wanted, and now they want it? Sit and spin City Of Miami!

Anyway, the place is something else. It is a series of run down looking shacks. Some of the shacks are actually parts of old television and movie sets. Others are shacks constructed by Jimbo and his customers.

This is the inside of the main shack. If you want a beer or a soda, you go inside and grab one from the vat of ice water. There is no bartender. You grab your own beer. Then on your way out the door you pay the guy standing there. Cash only. You also ask for the smoked fish here.

This is another photo of the beer vats. All that clutter and junk you see in the picture is just there. It is probably used for something. Who knows.

This is one of two Bocce Ball courts. The court is not level. I do not think it is supposed to be level. There are high and low points to the thing. To roll a good game, you have to know the court. Anyway, it is something drunk people can play without too much difficulty. And you can not destroy anything. This is important when the beer is self service.

This is one of those old run down looking shacks that is supposed to part of an old Miami Vice set. And that is a VW Beetle that has seen better days. People that go to Jimbo's sometimes bring lawn chairs and all kinds of crap and use the shacks as a place to hang out. Some are padlocked, some are not. There is also a school bus that looks similar to the bug, and people hang out in there. There was this odd smell wafting from the bus when I walked by it - and the people in the bus were laughing at something and eating A LOT of Doritos. But nobody cared - they were not causing any problems.

Anyway - I had heard of this place but had never been there. By car it is not easy to find, someone has to show you where it is. You have to drive into the old beach, and down this long ass road that ends at the water treatment plant. You can also get there by boat - but once again the place is not easy to find. It is not on the charts! There are no channel markers. You have to be able to "read" the water to find the channel that leads to the lagoon. Brown brown run aground - green green nice and clean. That is how to read the water here in South Florida. The channel is surrounded by rocks and the water is very shallow - so come in wrong and you may need a new prop. Or a new drive unit. But I know how to get in now. I took a sighting from the tree to the first cargo tower at the Port Of Miami. If I keep the bow pointed at the tree and the center of the stern pointed at the cargo crane thing then I will be in the green. No problem.

But even as far off the beaten path as it is, people know about it. Here is a list of some of the stuff that has gone down there. At least the stuff people can remember. There is a lot of beer there.

movies
Island Claws, Blood and Wine, Wild Things, Porky's II, Ace Ventura, True Lies, 2 Fast 2 Furious

tv
Flipper, Gentle Ben, Miami Vice, Glades, Going To California, Karen Sisco, CSI Miami

videos
Ziggy Marley, JayLo, Who Let The Dogs Out, Sugar Ray

photos
Maria Carey's first album cover, Jisel, Heidi Klum, Naomi Campbell

Visit Jimbo's Place website HERE.