More Beer Posting

"My name is Gambrinus
King of Flanders and Brabant
I made malt out of barley
And was the first to conceive beer
So the brewers
Can proudly proclaim
That it was a King
Who invented Beer!"

There you go. A little Gambrinus poem that I did not write. I stole it from a beer stein site. Which brings up an interesting question - do people really drink out of these things? Or are they more like something you just buy so you can put it somewhere and look at it? The thing holds 1.5 liters. That is a lot of beer. A little over three pints. So not really a whole lot of beer, it is possible to drink that amount. But I do not think you would be having two of them. 6 pints is a quart short of a gallon. So the best I can figure out is that some steins are for drinking, and some are for looking. The one featured to the right is probably not for drinking. Therefore it is USELESS. Why buy something like that unless you would want to drink from it? Really. So I would probably never get something like this.

But this gets me to thinking, which is often a dangerous thing for me to do. A stein may be a handy thing to have. The lids would be a good way to keep pesky insects out of my beer. Of course the funny thing about beer is that once you have had enough, you do not give a shit if some bugs did get into it. You just drink it anyway. The alcohol kills the germs. Right? I guess. At least that makes sense after a few pints.

But all is not lost. I did find these cool pewter mugs. Very nautical, don't you think? By the way in case you did not notice the mug handles look like a boat cleat. Cool. Now this is something I could use! They hold 22 ounces, which means they could hold at least 20 ounces of beer, leaving enough room for the foam. But there is no lid to keep the bugs out. However, they are pewter. Hopefully lead free pewter. So you could drop them and they would not break. They may get a dent, but there would be no breaking. This is good. Once you drink enough, you tend to drop things. If I had a larger boat with a cabin and a galley these would be perfect. Because really, glass bottles on a boat is not the best idea in the world. But I do what I have to do. The boat has no space for fancy drinking goblets, and beer from a can is banned from my boat - so that means I have to bring glass bottles.

And of course, beer is THE party drink of all time. Think about it. Have you ever heard of a "wine drinking song"? I can't say I have. I Googled "wine drinking songs" and all I got was shit like "spill the wine" and "red red wine" and other pop crap. Snore. Not really about drinking wine, just using wine as some kind of lame ass metaphor.

And have you ever heard of "the wine barrel polka"? I have not. There is no such polka. But there is the Beer Barrel Polka.

And then there is the Irish. There are tons of Irish drinking songs - all about either beer or whiskey. Mostly about beer.

Also, if you had to pick a place where people were most likely to all break out on song, what venue would you choose - a wine tasting event or a tent at some Octoberfest where everyone is downing German Beer?

Oh yea, even though mead is actually a type of wine, I hereby make it an honorary form of beer. Meade and ale are very old drinking buddies. So by Lazy Iguana decree - mead is hereby claimed as a member of the beer team.

As an American beer drinker, I sometimes feel left out. Nobody ever breaks out in song here. There are not really any traditional American drinking songs. The Puritans were all anti beer and shit.

Or are there any traditional American beer drinking songs?? How about this song. I know all my American readers will know it.

" My country tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty,
Of thee I sing.
Land where my fathers died!
Land of the Pilgrim's pride!
From every mountain side,
Let freedom ring!"

Ah yes, it is "My Country Tis Of Thee (America)". Did you know this was once a popular drinking song? Well it was. See, someone took the British National Anthem (God Save The Queen) and changed the words - but kept the music. The song is a parody of the British National Anthem. Liberty Tree was also a drinking song, as were most Revolutionary War era songs. Even if the Puritans were anti beer, beer was safer to drink than water - because part of making beer requires malt and hops to be added to boiling water. Then the stuff cooks for at least an hour to convert the starches to fermentable sugars. And because people back then had no idea about bacteria, if the water looked clean you would drink it. Back then, if you could not see cholera it did not exist - but it still caused you to shit yourself to death. And the open sewers (troughs on the side of the streets) ran into.....the river! Where drinking water came from! It is amazing us humans lived long enough as a species to invent the microscope to learn about bacteria and protozoa and amoebas and to invent modern sanitary sewers and air conditioning and internet porn. I think about this all the time by the way. Not so much the internet porn but the stuff about the air conditioning and microscope. We have really made ourselves weak through technology. Why you would think that life is impossible without water treatment plants, the hot water heater, all kinds of drugs, and the drive through.

So water could make you sick, or even kill you. Beer was safe. Thank God for beer!

So since "My Country Tis Of Thee" is a parody, nobody in America should be offended by this video. Canadians might be offended, but their dollar is worth more than the US dollar. So who is laughing now? Really - I just checked. One US dollar gets you 93 CENTS in Canada. THANKS BUSH! You are a fucking genius.


All I have to say aobut this classic Ren and Stimpy clip is who says smoking pot kills brain cells? It is clear that when this cartoon was made, the creators were high on something. And could YOU come up with something like that while sober?