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Thursday, November 01, 2007

Tracking Fun

My aquarium shipped! Hooray. I still have no place to put it. But it is not here yet.

But this is the 21st Century - not the stone age! And this means....UPS ONLINE PACKAGE TRACKING! So where is the aquarium at right now? Lets check!

Location Date

Local Time Description

ANAHEIM,
CA, US
10/31/2007

8:40 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN

10/31/2007

8:31 P.M. FORWARDED TO THE FACILITY IN THE DESTINATION CITY
US 10/31/2007

8:19 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED


When it does get here it will just remain in the shipping box - after I check for damage of course. I may set it up with just tap water in it to check for any leaks and / or other malfunctions. And I may want to modify it slightly. I like to tinker with things.

Daily tracking updates will be posted till I get my stuff, which should be on or before November 6.

And in other news - Halloween is over. Now normally we would get a break before the "Holiday Season" begins. I remember when the "Holiday Season" did not really start till AFTER Thanksgiving.

Those days are over. Left behind in the stone age. This is the 21st Century. The information age. We do not have time to wait around for things! Hell if I could download take-out food I would.

So when did "The Holidays" start on November 1? The ads for this season's Christmas movies are already out. Fred Claus is in theaters on the 9th. Got to get that money now before people spend it on other crap! And in the next few days all the other Christmas ads will be out. Malls will drag out all those darn decorations. Festive music will be playing everywhere. And so on. All this will happen in the next few days.

OPEN LETTER TO SEARS:

Halloween is over. So please pull your Craftsman "Happy Halloween" ad where a bunch of tools form a skeleton. We want Christmas ads! So lets get on the ball. Tell marketing to stop smoking the pot and get with the program already.

And now for something GROSS! Miller Chill - a "chelada style" light beer brewed with a hint of lime and salt.

Chelada style beer? What the crap is that? I have never heard of it. So I Googled it. And I found out that this style of beer is really NOT a style of beer - it is a mixed drink. About as much of a "style" of beer as the Irish Car Bomb.

HOW TO MAKE AN IRISH CAR BOMB

1/2 pint of Guinness or other stout

1/2 shot of Bailey's Irish Creme and 1/2 shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey in the same shot glass

Take the shot glass with the Bailey's and Jameson and drop it into the 1/2 pint of stout, then CHUG IT. Do not put the glass down till the shot glass hits your nose.

Clearly not a "beer style". So anyway in Mexico at some point someone decided to mix hot sauce with beer. Think of a "Bloody Mary" only use beer instead of vodka. In Spanish this is called "cerveza preparada " or "prepared beer". One form of prepared beer involves lime juice.

So there Miller Brewing Company! You are NOT producing any "style" of beer. You are producing a wimpy version of a mixed drink. But then again - most people will not care. They will drunk your swill and think it is "beer". I however will keep drinking Sierra Nevada Pale Ale or Sam Adams. Without any lime juice or salt. Cause that is how I roll.

One more thing. I have a wild hair up my ass to make a pumpkin pie without using anything from a can. This means using a real actual pumpkin! Not some crap in a can. Well I will have to use evaporated milk from a can. But I want to use a real pumpkin. A pie pumpkin. They are smaller than the Halloween pumpkins - and sweeter.

And no, I have no idea there these wild hairs come from. They just get up there somehow.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

Having made a pie from a pie pumpkin, I say don't bother. Libby's pumpkin pie mix from the can is just as good and way, way, way, way, way easier to make. And this is coming from someone who loved pumpkins enough to raise them ten acres at a time and used to sell them by the semi-load.

07:57  
Blogger QZ~Ba Doozie said...

lazy, you are officially a liar, there won't be any photos. Not until I have a complete and total body transplant.

fish suck

esp...the algae eaters HAHAHA

14:07  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ed - apparently you have to use a pie pumpkin. But you probably already knew that. Also I can roast the seeds. No seeds in the stuff from a can. I am going to attempt this, and use the fruits of my labor to attempt to impress chicks with my awesome baking ability.

Doozie - I never lie. At least not on purpose. Fish do not suck. Fish are cool. You just have to keep in mind their requirements. I could help you keep fish alive for more than a few days if you like.

15:54  
Blogger TLP said...

I just love pushing the red button. I do that a lot. It might be causing you to have those wild hairs...dunno.

I agree with Ed. Too much bother. But since you're going to do it, be sure NOT to use a jack-o-lantern type pumpkin. You can use the small sweet pumpkins or a neck pumpkin.

But now, soup made with real pumpkin is worth the bother! It's wonderful.

19:59  
Blogger Fuzz said...

My Sweetie cuts them in half and bakes them. What she doesn't use for the pies (several) is frozen for later. Pumpkin is good eaten like squash too.

Your IRISH CAR BOMB sounds like a Boilermaker. It also sounds good.

20:45  
Blogger M@ said...

Merry Christmas, son.

22:52  
Anonymous krok6 said...

The Lazy,

I celebrate Kwanzaa. From Thanksgiving until Kwanzaa I break into houses and steal gifts for my peeps.

I don't care how fat Doozie is i still want to see the nude pictures.

22:56  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

TLP - soup huh? Soup is good. Sometimes.

Fuzz - Neat. Ill have to see what I can create out of a pumpkin. The Car Bomb is far better than a Boilermaker. Boilermaker is any cheap ass beer and a shot of whiskey.

M@ - All my real friends send me ca$h for Chri$tma$.

Krok - Is that right?

01:22  
Blogger Cheesemeister said...

Pumpkin soup is good! So is pumpkin pie. And pumpkin seeds. I like pumpkins.
What is this "vacation" you speak of? In my line of work there is no vacation! But I will not have to work Thanksgiving for the first time in 5 years. I will probably undo all the good that my sorta-diet may be doing. That is definitely a day when the true food-o-phile has to say "fuck it! Let the games begin!"

08:49  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Vacation? No vacation. I can not afford any more vacation. In fact, I need a lot more work and a lot less vacation.

05:34  

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