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Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Template Madness

OK apparently the new look for 2008 has provoked mixed reactions. Scarlet claims it is not blue. Well I say something is wrong with Scarlet's monitor - or my monitor. Because it looks blue to me. It looks as blue as the blue label on a bottle of Chimay, as you can see for yourself by the photo to your left. Also the web page I stole the background from had it listed under "blue" backgrounds. I did not exactly "steal" it, I found it on one of those "free web page background" sites. It is not possible to steal something that is free.

I got another comment from Cheesemeister about the new background screwing with your eyes because of the pattern. It is too linear.

So....I picked out seven backgrounds. And you get to vote! Yes, vote. Backgrounds 1 - 6 are in the photo below, voting for 7 keeps the current background.

Click the image to see them all on a plain white background, and slightly larger. I may have to overrule 6 if it wins, or change the colors of the text. I have gone with a dark background / light text color theme. If I switch to a light color background, I need darker contrasting text. Six is kind of cool - but then again it could be "too busy" for a proper background. Who knows.

And in other news, I need some TEMPLATE MASTER input here. See what I want to do is create a new blog layout optimized for mobile devices. Namely my phone. Yes I can view my blog as it is now, but I have to resize the page to 75% and it scrolls slow. It is a cell phone after all, not a full blown computer. So I found a plain one column template with a plain white background. PERFECT! But what I need to do now is have the posts I put here show up there. How the heck would one accomplish this? How could I have the same posts show up on two blogs? Oh yea, I also want the comments to show up on both blogs. So if someone leaves a comment here I can look at it from the other blog. And if I leave a comment on the other blog (from the phone) it shows up here. Or hell, if someone wants to just read the posts here without all the pictures and Bush countdown and other highly un-American propaganda I have here that can just go to the plain blog.

Anyhow you get the idea. I tried but could not get anything to work. I figure there has to be a way, but I can not figure it out. Maybe you can think up something I overlooked or just did not even think about.

In other new phone news, I figured out how to screw ATT out of $10 a month charge! Bastards wanted to charge me - CHARGE ME - $10 a month to "enable the GPS function of my phone". Uhhhhhh....NO! I have three GPS units now. The oldest is my hand held Garmin E-Trex Legend. It has street level maps for most of Florida from Orlando to the Keys. That is all the map data I can fit into the thing with its 8 megs internal memory. GPS 2 is for the boat - it is an ass kicking full color GPS Chart Plotter. Since that thing got installed I have not run aground on any shallow areas. GPS 3 is a device made for the car. It has a touch screen and voice prompts telling me when to turn and shit. Really cool. I set it up for "US English" for input and "UK English" for the voice prompts. It is like having my own British chick butler in the vehicle, telling me when to turn, what road I will be on, and what direction I am going. I tried Japanese but I could not understand it. I do not trust electronic devices speaking to me in languages I do not understand. They could be plotting my untimely demise for all I know. Or they could be getting ready to make me drive through an area of town that not even the police drive through unless they have to.

So I declined the GPS for the phone, using the logic that three GPS units were enough for one person. Well later on I thought "fuck that". What the hell? I might as well take the ATT phone back for an I-Phone with the superior Safari web browser if I am not going to use the GPS! But then I did some looking. And you know what I found out?

ATT sucks. They lied to me. They said I HAD TO pay the $10 a month for the GPS to work. BZZZZZZZZ! WRONG!!!! The shitty software that came with the phone needs a $10 per month subscription to work. But GOOGLE MAPS IS FREE! Thats right, GOOGLE MAPS IS FREE! All hail the totally free Google Maps application that works on smart phones and Pocket PCs and also accepts GPS data! So I downloaded Google Maps and installed it on the phone. Then I started the application, and told Google Maps to use GPS data. And just like that - I was in. Google street level maps AND satellite view works on my phone with the GPS. ASS KICKING! So now I have 4 GPS units. Now if I get lost it is just because I am a dumb ass. There can be no other reason.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry but i like # 6. it reminds me of a swimming pool, - and i like swimming pools.

Blogger Lilacspecs said...

I'm gonna have to go with # 6 as well, though #5 is an acceptable alternative...cause my opinion is the only true opinion, after all.

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

My vote is #7. I like the background you have.

Blogger Yippeeskip said...

I too like #6 but 5 is also good

Blogger Daisy said...

I think #6 is pretty, but I think there is too much contrast between the light and dark blue shades. It might be distracting on a full screen. So, I am going to vote for #1. But I also like #2 and #4.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

I LOVE google maps.

Template master? ~blushing~

♦It looks blue and black to me.

♦I personally like #2, but I would also affix your background so the background stays and the text/graphics scroll. Add this line directly below your background-image line.

background-attachment: fixed;

♦sidebar script/graphics will slow down your phone. I prefer less clutter on my templates anyway, directs people toward the writing and not the games/music/links,, well, they can click and look at those all they want..haha.

♦save your template to notepad, then upgrade your template with blogger and pick out a new one. Then you can tweak the crap out of it, like I do. You might have to put new links in but if you have seen the new blogger templates, Page Elements are SO MUCH easier now. I REALLY recommend upgrading first on your blog that is the smartphone version template and you can see what the difference is with the new templates.

♦Any new template you drop in, the posts will automatically show up.

♦If this all give you a headache, email me and I can help with whatever you need. :)

Blogger actonbell said...

I like #1. The rest is over my head.

Anonymous krok87 said...

The Lazy,

I prefer #6. The dark blue gives me a hardon.

Blogger M@ said...

Jesus, I hate corporations. Bank of America charges me $6 per month for a "maintenance" fee on top of all of the other money they make off of me. I hate 'em.

Blogger Bydlo said...

Lazy Iguana:

With respect to the backgrounds, I would use each one as according to purpose, to convey information about the beer in the foreground. Number ONE is only fit for an insipid fizzy yellow beer with a jillion dollar advertizing budget like Bud Light. Number TWO is fit only for a mass produced stout with characterless hops like Guiness. Number THREE is for something that makes a feeble pretense of having character like Chimay. Number FOUR is for an actual quality beer that wants to show its dark side like Dixie Voodoo Blackened Lager. FIVE is for a Real Classic Fine Beer, not for the faint of heart, like Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout. Number SIX is for an intentionally brassy Arrogantly Fine beer, like Arrogant βα$ŧα®Δ [Pardon my French].

I am former Amateur Brewmaster. I am obviously VERY OPINIONATED. I don't like cheep yellow fizzy insipid stuff that hardly passes for water. I like my beer the color of the darkest human skin, a consistency so thick that you can walk on it, a flamable alcoholic content, Nugget Hops for Taste and Tetenanger or Saaz Hops for Nose. Above all else, it must be brewed as according to The Bavarian Purity Code, which is the Code of Honor of any and all Fine Beers.

BTW, the last two beers are MY FAVORITES.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ponder - number 6 is cool. Very water like. Fits in well with the occasional nautical theme.

Lilac - another vote for 6! I kind of like 5 too, reminds me of the album cover for Pink Floyd "Meddle" for some reason.

Ed - a vote for 7! I feel like the tally man, tallying them bananas!

Skip - And ANOTHER vote for 6, with 5 as a backup choice. Number 6 is kicking ass.

Daisy - you have a point about the contrast. One is good. I tallied that vote! Two is sort of interesting.

Emma - Got your vote for 2. The background is now fixed. What do you know about CSS media types? Apparently I can use the CSS media types to make this page load differently depending on how the browser identifies itself.

Action - got the vote for 1! 1 is making a comeback. I feel like Iowa.

Krok - that is weird. Got your vote for 6.

M@ - banks suck. You should join a credit union. Are you also voting for #6??

Bydlo - so you are saying 1 sucks, number 2 is watery, number three is fake and a matter of style over substance (by the way, Chimay blue label is not bad. And it is 9%. So if I want a strong beer that I can find easily then that is what I go for), number 4 is starting to get "real" (Blackened Voodoo is pretty good stuff), number 5 is dark, mysterious, and just a little crazy (Rasputin Imperial Stout is some serious stuff), and six - six is something I can not comprehend because I do not remember having that beer. As for the beer I like best, I usually go for the pale ales. The stuff with a golden color (pale ale varies in hue) but has a strong hops kick. Fuggels or Magnum/Perle make good bittering hops and for finishing Cascade works well. But I am open to other combinations.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Looks like 4 voted for 6, two for 1, and single digits for everyone else!

Blogger Bydlo said...

Item Six, which I chose for a certain beer whose name I dare not mention because I do not use that kind of language [Web Link: ], is clearly the stuff of Heroes. It is most like yor stated choice of beers. I Red Ale is not exactly like a yellow beer, but it will do. You will love their sales pitch! An ammusingly arrogant pitch, but this beer delivers!

If I brew for myself, I combine both the Lager and Stout Styles with the hop combinations mentioned before. I regret that this is a waste of a perfectly good cold snap because I don't have the time or resources to brew right now. Fine Lager Weather!

Maybe you should try Midnight Blue with some Wispy White undertones, though black & blue is good.

Blogger Bydlo said...

BTW, have you tried AASS from Norway?

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

It's blue now.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I have never had Arrogant Bastard beers. They are not available in Florida and it is illegal to have it shipped to me because "kids might order beer over the internet". Yea right. Show me one kid who is stupid enough to order beer over the internet and pay $15 for a 6 pack when you can just get a quart bottle of malt liquor at the store that sells to minors for $1.50. But I digress - I am not in charge of the laws yet. When I am I will reform the beer laws first.

I have probably had the Norway beer before. Next time I am at Epcot center in Disney World - Olrando Florida I will hit up the Norway thing in the World Showcase and get my Norway beer fix on. Otherwise I have to go to Georgia.

Scarlet - yes it is blue. Hopefully this will be a blue sort of year.

Blogger Bydlo said...

I guess you'll have to stock up next time you go to Texas or Tennessee, because that's where the distributers of Arrogant you-know-what are. You don't keep good beers a secret. I'm surprised that Aass has disappeared. It was such good stuff.


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