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Tuesday, February 12, 2008


So, you want to be a pirate huh?

Well guess what? I found a way where I can be a pirate in a multi-player online game. As it turns out, the Disney people decided to create an online game to promote their "Pirates Of The Caribbean" movie enterprise. I guess this means there will be more movies.

Anyhow, in the game you get to do pirate stuff. Like attack Royal Navy soldiers and ships. And fight other assorted creatures, ranging from the undead to giant crabs and insects. And then there are the quests. Some are game related, and some are just extra quests that you take on for fun and profit.

Of course the TV ad says "play for free online". So what that means is that it is NOT free. Oh yea you can play on the first few levels, but that is it. After that you need to fork over the bucks. Otherwise you can only have the crappy weapons and ships. And there are only so many quests you can go on. But by the time you hit the point where you can not get any further unless you get an account and pay up it you are hooked.

I kind of see how the whole World Of Warcraft thing happened now.

Now the game interface needs work. It is buggy, and it also freezes up. Part of this may be the computer I am using. I think it meets the minimum requirements, but I am not sure. It has a 1.5 gig processor (game requires at least 800 mhz) so I am OK there. The game requires 1/2 gig memory, which is exactly what I have. So I am OK there but as usual I could ALWAYS use more memory.

The big question mark is the graphics card. Do I have at least a 32 meg graphics card? Got me. Maybe I do and maybe I don't. So this could be where the freezes come from.

Or maybe the game interface still needs work. Who knows.

But I have a plan to double my memory for FREE. The Toshiba laptop is unreliable. I have almost everything backed up on it. So.......once I get a few more things off it (mostly my email) then I can LOOT the memory out of it and see if it fits into the other computer I borrowed. If so, great. I got me some free memory, which may help the game run smoother.

If not...then PLAN B! See I am not 100% sure if the problem is hardware related, or some sort of virus. So I want to experiment. I do not know where the heck the restore disk is for the Toshiba. If it turns up I can format the HD and reinstall from the CD.

But then I will need to download a billion Windows updates. The Toshiba was bought before SP2 was released. So I have A LOT of updates.

So I was thinking....why not run Linux? I mean, it is free. Or at least really cheap. I can format the drive and install some version of Linux. BYE BYE WINDOWS! Don't let the drive bay cover hit you on the ass on your way out.

I have decided the next computer WILL be a Mac. I just wish they were not so expensive compared to a PC.

But the good news is that Best Buy sells Macs now. So all I have to do is wait for there to be a sale, where if I use a Best Buy credit card I get some crazy period of no 0% interest if I buy a computer priced more than some amount. And the Mac will be above that amount. Then I apply for instant credit (I lost the old BB credit card and asked for another one but they never sent it to me which was a stupid move because I was always using it to get double reward points and shit).

And after that - so what if it takes a year to pay the thing off? I am not paying any finance charges. All I do is figure out how much I have to pay each month to pay off the entire balance a month before the 0% deal ends - then set the bank automatic bill payment thing to fire off that amount. No sweat. I never even have to write a check. And I can not forget to pay a bill and activate the charges, because the bank automatic pay thing remembers for me.


But in the mean time, I am thinking about paying for a one month full access pass the Pirates Of The Caribbean game. They are having a special. $5 for the first month. Hey - why not. That only works out to about a pint of beer anyway. So I drink one less pint. No big deal. I will not even notice.

Disney gets more of my money, I get a better pirate ship and more weapons! Everyone is happy.
I am Lazy Iguanabeard. That is my online pirate name. The Disney people rejected "Lazy Iguana" so I added the beard suffix to make it more pirate like. If they reject that I will use "Robert A. Iger Is An ASSHOLE!".

I suspect they will reject that pirate name too, because Robert A. Iger happens to be the current Disney CEO. He makes the big bucks, but does he design a single attraction? NO! He is like a pimple on your forehead. Your hair covers up up so you do not pop it because then it may bleed and the skin around it may turn red causing people to notice it - so you leave it alone. But you wish it were not there. is where the action is at.

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Anonymous Lilacspecs said...

I play Yohoho Puzzle Pirates, so another pirate game is tempting...but right now I'm too distracted playing Frogger to go anywhere else.

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

Why is "free" always really "not free"? I like Doom because you just go around shooting things. I just like shooting things.

Anonymous krok76 said...

The Lazy,

I like the pirate idea of searching for booty.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Lilac - I used to go to Yahoo Games. But then they insisted that they infect everything with Yahoo Messenger. I downloaded the thing to play Yahoo games but uninstalled it - only to find out that not everything uninstalls. What a pain.

Scarlet - Doom is a classic. I remember distributing illegal copies of that game to everyone I knew. I even got it installed on the Community College servers, so that people could have cool network death matches before there was home internet access. Those were the days.

Krok - what is a pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest and no booty.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

For some reason the name thing reminds me of when some astronomers named their computer "Carl Sagan" and instead of being flattered the idiot threatened to sue them, so they named it "Butthead Astronomer."


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