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Monday, May 19, 2008

Florida Burning

It seems Florida is on fire again. There is this wildfire smell outside. A fine coating of ash is covering everything.

And you know why I think it is funny? Just a few days ago the neighbor was out washing and waxing their car. I was tinkering around with something in the boat. Mostly I was just having a beer or two and listening to the satellite radio - but I was also "testing the VHF radio system". See recently I activated the Sea-Tow "Sea Smart VHF" option. So now I can track the whereabouts of the boat over the internet - assuming the GPS is connected and turned on and the radio is turned on. What happens is that now I can give people on the shore (like my dad) the Sea Smart account login info. He can then ping the boat over the computer, and Sea Tow sends an electronic call on marine channel 70. My radio hears it and answers with my exact location.

Thus ending 500,000,000,000 calls every 10 seconds asking where I am. At least that is the idea.

I have given up trying to explain the whole "phone on a boat" thing. So what happens is I get back to the dock and I have 500,000,000,000 missed calls and 500,000,000,000 voice mail messages.

Meanwhile, I was either out far enough that I do not get a phone signal (cell towers are usually NOT in the water so get a few miles from land and you are out of range), or I can not hear the phone because of engine noise, or my hands are wet with saltwater and I do not want to touch the phone, or whatever.

The whole concept of "you do not have to leave a message because I have caller ID" seems to be too complex to grasp. It is rare I leave a message for anyone - as I know they have caller ID and will see my number in the missed call log. So then I have to spend 1/2 hour deleting the messages while trying to drive home with a trailer in tow.

But now most questions can be resolved electronically. Without involving the phone. I was testing the system by logging in from the boat using my laptop, then pinging the boat. The radio beeps and shit, the data is sent, Sea Tow gets it, and my location pops up on a map. Cool.

Anyway the neighbor is there saying that I never wash or wax my truck. So I presented my "protective later of dirt" theory. See if the truck is covered in a protective layer of dirt, then it protects the paint! Right? A cover protects the paint. So if the truck is covered in dirt what is the difference?

Anyway he was out there for a long time, washing and waxing. And now guess what? BOTH vehicles are covered in the same amount of ash.

So it stinks outside. It smells like bad BBQ and burning lawn. We need some serious rain to put that shit out. The smoke is causing people to have breathing problems, and if I am out in it for long enough it gives me a headache.

I feel like going outside right now and writing "wash and wax me" on the neighbors car with my finger :)

Labels:

109 Comments:

Blogger Fred said...

The smell is probably headed our way.

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Blogger Bee Repartee said...

oooh, yum. almost as good as burnt tires and hair. You can't bottle that...

Have you considered a satellite phone?

15:47  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fred - that is possible. I do not think the winds are blowing in that direction however.

Bee - Satellite phones are crazy expensive.

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