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Friday, May 09, 2008

One Of These Days - POW! Right To The Moon!

No, this is not a post about the "good old days" when jokes about beating the crap out of your spouse were good for some prime time yucks on the TV.

That is the funny thing about "the good old days". Were they REALLY so good? I say no - they were not really so good. You just forgot the bad stuff.

Lets take the 50s for example. Yea - the good old days! Back when things were more wholesome. If only we could return to those days!

Except for the polio. We could do without the polio.

And then there are the 80s! Destined to become my "good old days". Michael Jackson was normal. People were happy as shit to have an 8086 computer and if you had a CGA graphics card even better!! There were no cell phones so you could actually go on vacation and nobody could harass you with work. Yes - the good old days.

Except for "Breakin II - Electric Boogaloo". The universe could have done without that movie. And parachute pants. What the hell were people thinking? Tight ass pants (that were not just for chicks) with zippers everywhere - and then to make it even better the zippers were not for pockets - they were just there so you could expose a different color of material. The tight ass pants look may work for chicks, but it FAILS on dudes. The universe would have been a better place without parachute pants.

But this post is not supposed to be about ANY of this bullshit!

It is about going to the moon. Now you may not be aware of this, but the moon is not really that far away. Only 238,857 miles. Chances are you have already driven this distance. Sure it took you a few years, but your car goes really slow. The Space Shuttle cruises around Earth at something like 15,000 or 17,000 miles an hour. I think it is closer to 17,000 mph. So at that speed the moon is not really that far away. You would be there in just over 14 hours.

But the moon really IS far away. Yea, you could be there 15 hours after lift off if you had a space ship that could travel at 17,000 mph - but who the hell has that? Nobody - thats who. Not even NASA. Not unless we dug up an old Saturn V rocket and a primitive Apollo vehicle.

But you CAN send your name to the moon! Even if you can not go your name can. It it pretty easy to do this. Just go to THIS WEBSITE and enter your name. Pretty simple. You just enter your name and then you can print out a certificate of participation.

My name is going to the moon. Here is a scan of my certificate that I printed out!!

But this is not all! Skipper The Cat also likes space exploration. Even if the area to be explored has already been explored. So technically this is more like a "we have already been there, but the place is so nice we just have to go back" space mission. Kind of like how I would really like to go back to the Great Smokey Mountains. I would also like to take a day hike along part of the Appalachian Trail I hiked years ago.

But Skipper is just a cat. He has no way of knowing that people have already been to the moon. So Skipper is taking part too.

So there. Anyone can take part. Your name is placed on a microchip that is embedded in the circuitry of the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter and is then sent to the moon.

POW! Right top the moon.



Blogger cathouse teri said...

I can send my name to the moon for free?

Hey, things were just as horrible in the fifties. We call them the wholesome days. But parents in those days referred to the twenties as wholesome. We all know how wholesome the twenties were. And can you imagine what they called the "good old days" in King Solomon's time?

I'll bet Diesel could come up with a good one. I'm not that smart. :)

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

I'm not sure I believe it. I mean, send your name to the moon for free? What kind of capitalism is that?

Anonymous krok91 said...

The Lazy,

One time I took a lady with polio out in my boat and she fell off the dock, I had to jump in and save her. I was mad because my hair got all messed up.

Blogger Jobkiller said...

Well, well, well. I will have to take part in that. Maybe I can create one for each of my blogger alter-egos. Cheesemeister to the moon. Lily Strange to the moon. Payout Polly to the moon. And of course Jobkiller to the moon.
The 80's sucked, although the headbanger music was good. Great tunes, bad fashions, and shallow people. Kind of like now. And for that matter, kind of like the 50's. Although I admit kind of liking the 50's styles just a little.

Blogger Jobkiller said...

I just sent my son to the moon. Boy will he be surprised!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Teri - YES! You can send your name to the moon for free! Cool huh? The 50s did suck. NO INTERNET! And therefore no porn. Birth control methods sucked. And so on.

Scarlett - I think it has to do with "I am spending your money for something you probably do not give a shit about so Ill throw you a bone".

Krok - That must have sucked. The most Ill do is toss over my life ring. If you can not grab it it is not my problem.

Jobkiller - do it!!!! You pay enough taxes for all your identities!!!!!


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