Late Back To School Advice
I got so sidetracked with storms and shit that I forgot something! Something important. A public service announcement if you will.
A Lazy Iguana "back to school" tip. So if you have a child going back to school, have them watch this inspirational video from Foamy The Squirrel.
Usually I dole out my own advice for back to school day. My advice is usually pretty good. But that Foamy has a way with words that frankly is too good to not use whenever possible.
So there you go. If you (or your kid) has a fat ass gym teacher, take Foamy's advice. I highly recommend it.
It will continue to be funny for YEARS. The punishment will only last a few hours. If you ask me the trade off will be worth it. You will obtain legendary status among fellow students. That alone is worth whatever detention or some bullshit that will arise from speaking the words.
Speaking of back to school, remember junior high? Now imagine how junior high would have been for you if your own government declared you "ugly". Like the girl to the left. The government of China declared her too ugly to be on TV, so they had her sing the national anthem then found a prettier girl to fake sing it during the Olympics opening ceremony.
They even made a song about it. Really. They did. And my vast spy network uncovered it. So HERE IT IS.
Yea, junior high is really going to suck for her.
Of course China does not have a free press. Chances are that the people have no idea about this. Which is good for the girl. Nobody will ever know her government declared her to be butt ugly.
Who said that a free press is a great thing? I would say that a free press is usually a good idea, but there are times when you might wish that the press was not so free.
Like when the government declares you ugly. You would want the press to keep that on the down low.
So there you go. My back to school advice.
And remember - if you think your day is going bad and could not possibly get any worse - at least you were not declared ugly by the government.