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Thursday, September 25, 2008


I hate stunts. Take the latest David Blane stupidity. Hanging by your feet huh? Where at? I would like to know so I can BEAT YOU LIKE A PINATA!!!!!

Only I suspect candy will not come out.

Please David, just go away. Nobody cares. Want to impress me with a "stunt"? Go submerge yourself in lava for 5 minutes. And not that fake Hollywood movie studio lava either - I'm talking about LAVA! Do it at Volcano National Park in Hawaii.

But I am not talking about physical stunts. I am talking about something almost as retarded.

So McCain is suspending his campaign. You know, "the crisis" and everything. And now he wants to suspend the debates so that he can "fix" the mess?

REALLY?!?!?! So you are going to fix this is a single bound huh? Weren't you the chairman of the Banking And Finance Committee? Back then would have been a good time to fix the mess.

Now it seems to me that these hearings have been going on for a few days - sans McCain. So why the big rush now? I mean - there is nothing to vote on yet. And we all know that whatever is cobbled together WILL pass. How do I know this? The banks have us by the short and curlies here. Bail them out or else we all go broke. Well not all of us. Ill be OK most likely. See my investments can lose a lot of value, but there is a time horizon for them to come back. Assuming that they do not all collapse into dust. But if I were 3 years from retirement then I would be screwed.

Unless I wanted to eat canned dog food for dinner. HAPPY RETIREMENT! Here is your Alpo cake!

So yea, the bailout WILL happen.

McCain has said that the proposal on the table now is "dead". Well the only proposal I am aware of is the one Bush proposed. And I agree - that is dead. This is why there are HEARINGS going on. So that everyone can hammer out something that can pass.

Pronouncing it "dead" just so you can "suspend" a campaign then rush to DC to personally save the day is nothing more than a stunt. You are not suspending anything! Please.

If McCain were so worried about this then why not suspend the campaign on day 1 of the hearings? Huh? Why now?

And why can Senator McCain not multitask? You know, watch this thing called "C-SPAN" on the talking picture box (NOW IN COLOR!!!!)? Video tape the shit if you have to. That way you can watch the hearings and campaign at the same time.

And what the hell - use that magical email device to send questions you want asked to some asshole actually at the hearing.

You know, TECHNOLOGY???? This thing that allows for multitasking??? The days of two tin cans and some waxed string are over.

So yea, I want to vote for the man who can only do one thing at a time. There is no way in hell a President may have to deal with more than one thing at a time! OH NO! It is totally impossible that a major hurricane will rip apart an American city while this economic thing happens.

Right??? Anyone still out of power from Ike?? NAAAA! That problem is all over with now.

So anyway - I smelled a stunt.

But it could not possibly be the whole "lets put off the debates" thing. It HAD TO be something else.

And then it all came together. I found this posted on Fox "news" only a little over 3 hours from now (as I am typing this).

Palin will also suspend her campaign. Why? She is not a senator. She can not swoop in and personally save the day!

But she will suspend her campaign anyway.

I already heard a blub on some lame TV news channel about the next logical step.

The suspension of the VP debates. AH HA! So now the stunt becomes clear! A move to put off the VP debates - possibly forever! I mean if the first date is missed then all the other days can be "booked with prior engagements" and whatnot. The McCain camp can foot drag and stall and delay - and then before you know it election day is here!

And nobody really gives a crap about the VP debates anyway! We are not voting for the bottom of the ticket! It is the top that counts!!

And so on.

So if you ask me what the root of this latest stunt is - there is my answer. To put off the VP debates as long as possible.

And while that is going on, grandstand. Pretend there is no such thing as a "campaign jet" that is always full of fuel and can have either man in DC in a matter of hours. Pretend that without you there, in person, nothing can get done.

And so on.

I am not buying into this bullshit.

And if it is not bullshit - if the man is really serious (and lets be honest - nobody knows when the clowns are being serious) - then I think it is really bad that he can not concentrate on more than one thing at a time.



Blogger Lily Strange said...

Wolfie and I want to take Sarah Palin, hang her by her feet, and beat her like a pinata. The one thing I'm pretty sure won't pop out of her if we do that is a baby, because, after all, she has the vaginal muscles of a female gladiator.

Blogger Bee Repartee said...

You are on a roll today, I laughed out loud, several times. That doesn't just happen every day, you know.

I kind of get the feeling you won't be voting the McPalin ticket? Just a me nuts.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Lily - that link is great. Im going to pass it along to Dusty, who seems to LOVE stuff like that!

Bee - I am not exactly ecstatic over either choice. But....I just do not see myself voting for McPalin - as you put it. It seems like all that campaign is doing is pulling one stunt after another.

You do not get to call yourself a "changer" (or whatever the hell he is calling himself) just by pulling stunts. You actually have to propose something different. Which he has not done.

At least not in my view. But I could be wrong.


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