Cat Exclusion Zone

This is Cleo. As you can see, Cleo is a cat. I "found" Cleo when I was looking for Cornelius, who just vanished without a trace. I put up "lost cat" signs with a picture of Cornelius all over the place. So someone calls me one night to say the cat is in their back yard, which was only a few houses over. So I go over there and it was not Cornelius, it was Cleo. Cornelius was described as "neutered male cat, about 1 year old, 10 pounds". The cat they saw was a scrawny little sickly kitten. Not male, not neutered, and nowhere near 10 pounds.

But the scrawny sickly looking little half wild kitten needed a place to hang out. And food. So I brought it in and gave it food and tamed it and took it to the vet and so on. So Cleo is still here.

And on the table. The photo is proof of that. Cleo is not supposed to get on the table. But she does not seem to care about what she is supposed to do. She just gets up there and looks at you. As if to say "yea I am on the table - got a problem with that??". She did not even move as I reached for the camera, which was right next to her.

She just wanted to share some of my food. But when she is eating I am not allowed to share any of her food. Neither are any other cats. I did not give her any of my food. It was my food. And I was hungry.

I have squirt bottles, but they are currently empty. I cleaned them out with a little bleach and forgot to refill them. I use the squirt bottles to establish a cat free zone. It works for as long as there is water in the bottles.

Now I know what you are thinking. You are saying "I would not allow my cat on the table" or "my cat never gets on the table".

Oh really? If you are thinking that, I have news for you. Your cat is smarter than you are. Look at the facts. Who is the one who works? Who is the one who buys the food? Who is the one who puts up with traffic and a boss and coworkers you may not even like? Who is the one on a handful of pills because of hypertension, high blood pressure, and who knows what else?

And who is the one that spends the day lounging around, sleeping most of the time?

Yea - I thought so.

Anyhow I have news for you. If you have a cat, and it goes in the house - it is on the table. You may not ever see the cat on the table, but when you are not looking guess what? Cat is on the table. And do not think a "scarecat" will work. I tried that. The cat quickly figured out the full color life size cardboard cutout of me was fake. It was used as a cat scratching post.

Anyhow I gave up. I lost the "stay off the table" war. The cats had a better war strategy than me. Sure I had technology on my side. I also had a pretty much unlimited war budget. I could have any weapons system I wanted. Squirt bottles hanging from the ceiling (space) if I wanted to. You name it.

But I lost.