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King Gambrinus - Patron Saint of beer.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Thursday Things

I have to go to the Miami Boat Show. It is preview day. This means they charge extra to get in. Usually this is the day serious buyers, or buyers from last year, show up. Show exhibitors hand out free tickets if they think you are going to make it worth their while.

I am not going to buy diddly squat. I have to spend time in a booth. The judge says I have to do community service, so I will be at a boating safety booth, promoting boating safety. Because boating safety is important.

By lying. OH NO! I never have beer on my boat!! For beer is dangerous! And it is. If you drink too much of it your chances of an accident are increased. And that is no good. But if you tell people that it is OK to have alcohol on board, then some ass clown will go out with a gallon of vodka, drink it, and end up causing a problem.

By the way - in FL you CAN have an open container if you are at the helm. Strange as this seems, it is true. So long as your BAC is not over .08% you are good. But you do not tell people this, because of the ass clown factor. As for me - I do not really have an open container at the helm when underway. I can never drink it. I am too busy driving. Plus, the beer gets all foamy and shit.

Speaking of beer, I done ran out. So I bought more. Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale and Anchor Steam Liberty Ale. Yummy.

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It seems that I have some spy ware or some other shit on the computer. So I am scanning it. I have used three programs. Each one found some shit. I recommend these programs - and best of all they are FREE!!!

1. Malwarebytes. Free. You install it on your computer. It scans for shit and removed it.

2. Spybot S&D. Again, free. You install it on the computer, and it scans for shit. It finds it and removes it. It also innoculates your computer, alerting you to registry changes (spyware typically fucks with your registry). It also protects against borwser hijacks.

3. Microsofy Live Scan. This is free too, although if you want to have live scan run all the time you have to fork over money. This works through the web. You have to use IE though. It takes FOREVER to scan. Hopefully, it will find shit and remove it.

You can not rely on just one program. You have to use a few of them. Each one finds shit the other ones do not. Or something like that.

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I officially hate my phone. The fucking thing TURNS ITSELF OFF when the battery reaches about 80%. Just turns off. By itself. I have to plug it into the car charger, turn the fucking thing back on, HOPE it stays on, then call whoever I was talking to back. And apologize for having a shitty phone.

What the hell??

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Fat Fred the orange cat just fell off the edge of the bed. I laughed. This is why I can not have a waterbed. Cats have claws.

4 Comments:

Blogger Dusty said...

Poor Fred. One of my fat cats fell out of the window the other day...we laughed our asses off and she looked quite pissed.

04:26  
Blogger Dusty said...

oh, and I must of missed a post...why is a judge ordering community service for you dear Lazy?

04:28  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

There was no judge. I made that up.

01:10  
Blogger Lily Strange said...

The beer logic also applies to speed limits. When they raised the speed limit on some of the highways in these parts to 75 MPH, I voted against it. Because people generally go at least 10 miles an hour over the speed limit and often 20 on highways. Therefore instead of going 75, now a bunch of these buffoons were going 85 and 95. Lo and behold, the number of traffic fatalities increased. DUH!!!! I may be far from a genius, but I could see that one coming a mile away.
Some of these geniuses may have been drinking vodka while going 95 MPH, too.

04:55  

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