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Sunday, April 05, 2009

Crap You Do Not Need

Hello, and welcome to.....

CRAP.....YOU.....DO.....NOT.....NEED!!!!

Yes, its Crap You Do Not Need! A feature of this blog where I find a stupid product that NOBODY needs. Ever.

And today's lucky product is.......

THE NINJA UMBRELLA!!

You too can bring honor to your family with the ninja umbrella featuring a samurai sword handle. Comes with carrying case for dramatic effect (and easy transport).

Really. I am not making this up. A ninja umbrella.



I can totally picture this conversation taking place.

Rain: Ninja! You are but a mere mortal and no match for my powerful torrent. Do you surrender?

Ninja: Ah, Rain. You are a most worthy opponent and teacher. But I will never surrender.

Rain: Ha! Ha! Ha! Your bravery humors me. Please continue.

Ninja: Laugh now, Rain, for it will be the last time. (Unsheathes umbrella.)

Rain: The ninja umbrella!? But I thought it was a myth!

Ninja: Used by the samurais before me. Passed down by my ancestors. Full of the wisdom of the ancients. With this umbrella, I will defeat you once and for all, and I will bring honor to my family and dry clothes to my home. HIIIIYAAAA!

NOBODY needs this. NOBODY needs a ninja umbrella.

Everyone knows real ninjas are able to dodge the individual rain drops anyway. Real ninjas do not need umbrellas.

Real ninjas also do not need the supply closet at work. They simply take whatever they need from unsuspecting coworkers.

As demonstrated by myself, in this undercover office surveillance video. I needed a stapler. So I got one.

3 Comments:

Blogger Lily Strange said...

Oh come now--all God's Chillun needs a Ninja umbrella! I have one for each day of the week.

06:24  
Blogger Lily Strange said...

I stole the video for use on the UNDEAD blog.

06:31  
Blogger actonbell said...

Wow, this would've been good crap fodder for David Barry's annual Christmas List, fersure. This would definitely be the gift that says, "here."

18:15  

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